When The Shit Hits You're Standing There With A Shovel
by Ashley.Frances.MCMLX
Summary: Rick and his family are going to need to survive this apocalypse, and the only way to do that is by sticking together. There is drama, action, adventure, comedy, life lessons, faith, loss, and love. This is not like the show but it has similar people and situations, this is my take on it. I am a Beth and Daryl fan, so most of this is about them and from their point of views.
1. Chapter 1: Being Hunted

**Back Then  
><strong>We entered this small nursing home in the suburbs of Atlanta it probably only has ten rooms in it but it has bathrooms, running water, a fully stocked kitchen, and this place is the home to the Vatos Gang, we wanted their shelter, we wanted their weapons, we wanted their running water, and we wanted their food. We have a humane plane of taking it over, as we walk turn the corner, I see them all dead "What the hell happened to them?" then Andrea looks at me "Isn't it obvious? They got overrun." Daryl makes a sounds "Pfftt" then Andrea looks at him "Say Something?" Then he snarls back "Yeah. How about observant?" she snarls back "Wow. That's a big word for you. Three whole syllables." He makes a face at her "Walkers, didn't do this. Geeks didn't show up until after this went down. Somebody attacked this place. See how everybody's shot in the head execution style? They came in, killed everybody, and took whatever they wanted. You're all worried about walkers? Hell, I'd be much more worried about whoever did this." I agree with him, but I never disagreed in the first place. I look at Andrea she realizes he is right, he turns to Andrea "Get a dictionary. Look it up. Observant!"  
><strong>September 2010<br>**We are in Franklin, North Carolina and we are making our way towards the CDC at Camp Lejeune we have lost people on this trek Jacqui, and Jim. It's been tough, I am starting to think it will never get easy. We are going to go on a run I look over at Carol "Stay safe" she smiles and shakes her head "Nine lives, remember?" then she walks out of the room.  
><strong>A Few Days Later<strong> **  
><strong>We are a big group of people I am going to need to find us more food than just squirrels, I am going to have to go bigger like deer's, good thing we're in a area where there are lots. I turn around and I see a walker eating the deer I hunted "Son of a bitch. That's my deer!" I killed the walker and it fell on top of the deer, I kicked him away "Look at it. All gnawed on by this...filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!" I shake my head in annoyance.

**Chapter One**

**Part One: Being Hunted**

_Joshua 1:9_

_New International Version (NIV)_

_9 __Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. do not be discouraged, for the __Lord__ your God will be with you wherever you go."__1_

Today the weather is bright and breezy, we've been in Springfield, Kentucky for about sixteen days, when we got away from the CDC we were separated but we found each other over the course of six days. I'd like to tell you that it was easier being in smaller groups but it really wasn't, having the ten of us united as one is always going to be a better choice; don't get me wrong I am sure that having so many will always be a bigger risk, but it's one that we are all willing to take. We've been hunting for a while now, Daryl insisted that we hold it out for a little longer, he could feel our luck changing, in his bones, or so he says. I am watching Carl, he is following every step that Daryl is taking-those two have really bonded he definitely is the favourite of the group. Daryl is our hunter, tracker, our realist who will provide the right amount of pessimist and optimist whenever necessary. Daryl is showing Carl how to track, I think they are tracking a deer, and if they are successful we will have our meals for a good while. Suddenly I hear a sound I turn around and there it stands a few feet away from me, a big deer, I am getting my weapon ready to shoot and I am about to pull the trigger but I hear Daryl's gun go off, even though he isn't usually a gun man he hit his target because that deer went down and never got back up. That only means that Daryl has been stalking that deer for a long while, it really does make sense that he would be ready and I wouldn't. I see Carl running over to the deer, he is standing there staring at it and we started cheering. I make eye contact with Daryl and he shrugs it off "easy peasy" Suddenly I hear Carl scream, I look at my son and he is on the ground holding his side, I run over to him I ask him what's wrong but I get no response "Carl, are you okay?" Daryl and Shane are beside him, Daryl moves his hand and there is blood squirting out, I am lost in the blood replaying what happened.  
>"Rick?" I run my hand in front of his face "RICK?" I push him out of the way, Carl needs our help, I ignore my best friend and I rip my shirt tying it around his side with Daryl's help. "Do you know what happened?" he asks me, I shake my head "No idea" I look at the cloth the stain is getting bigger, then Carl goes silent and still I lean forward "His breathing is slowing; we need a doctor" I am trying to keep him awake.<br>I heard someone running from the side of us, I stand up and I am pointing my crossbow looking to find where the sound is coming from "I didn't mean to shoot him" I am face to face with this heavy set man wearing a trucker hat and he has a beard, he is running with his rifle in the air and standing in front of us now. "Stop right there." He stops in front of me "Please Don't Shoot" I look at Shane who has a gun on him and his other hand on Carl's side "Shane, I got this. You just make sure Carl doesn't bleed to death" The man puts his gun down and does what I say, I look at the man "Who are you?" He shakes his head, he puts down the gun and is holding his hands up "I am Otis" I am silent "Why did you shoot Carl?" He shakes his head "I shot at the deer, and as I shot it went through the deer and straight in to Carl when Carl moved to the side." I shake my head "We need to get him to a doctor" he nods "Hershel he's a doctor, he can help him. He lives One mile from here, northeast tell him Otis sent you, it's a white farm. Go now!" Shane lifts Carl in to his arms, and runs towards Hershel's farm. I look back at Otis "You have to come back with me" He nods "I understand" I look at our food and I look at Rick, I shake my head and move towards Rick "Could you help me bring him back to our camp?" Otis nods "What about your kill?" I shake my head "I can't do nothing about it now. my family needs my help." he shakes his head "I have a car close by you can go get the car and drive it here, you'll find me, your friend, and your kill. I promise." I stare at him and nod, he throws me the keys and points me in the right direction. I don't know why I trusted his word, I am not usually like that even with people I know. I am still a little hesitant to show you all of me but maybe it is just something in his eyes I knew he'd been sorry, I knew I could trust him, and I guess I will find out if my instincts are right or wrong.  
>The Greene Farm<br>I am standing at the door with my father Hershel and my sister Maggie, daddy looks at me and his look is one of those I mean business kind of looks with a side of don't disappoint me. "Beth, let me know if you see anything." I nod even though I am thinking that more than likely he means the major things not the minor things like squirrels, skunks, or birds. I look over at Maggie then my eyes land on my daddy's which actually look like my own, she nods then I nod "Yes sir" He turns around and wipes his feet on the door mat, disappearing in to our house. I look at Maggie, she is smiling at me "Look at you, you get to keep watch" I nod and smile "Yeah, I am moving up in the ranks." we both laugh and get comfortable. I really am excited to be doing this even if it's boring and I have no gun.  
>I am Beth Greene. I am the youngest daughter of Annette and Hershel Greene being born on January 8 1994 which is making me sixteen years old. My momma and older brother Shawn died on October 1st 2010 a few hours apart, it was a rough day and I never got to say good-bye to momma. Over the years since the world has become what it is now, daddy has gone through so many measures to keep me safe and alive, usually people in general would not be complaining about that, but it starts being an issue when you are not allowed to do anything other than cook, garden, and clean. I sashay through life not really living, not really learning, and definitely not being able to protect myself. I pull myself out of my head, so I can focus on the task, I was assigned. This is the easiest task in the entire universe and I can imagine what daddy would say if I failed at it.<br>I am looking around then soon after I see a man running towards us, it looks like he is holding something or someone, I nudge Maggie and we both yell "Daddy" he walks out holding his gun while Maggie is holding her gun in the direction of the man running "Don't shoot" he yells, neither of them budged. As he got closer , I see he is holding a bloody child in his arms "Give me a reason not too" my father shouts out. The man is standing in front of us, the boy is pale and he is bleeding really bad on his right side. "Sir, My name is Shane Walsh. This here is Carl Grimes. he is my god-son and your friend Otis said you can help us." Otis? What exactly happened out there? Is Otis okay? I have all these questions but I keep quiet. I am standing to the side he is tall and muscular with brown hair, sun kissed skin, he looks like a football player big and strong, his eyes are brown he looks at my daddy "Please, his breathing is low" daddy still hasn't put the gun down but Maggie has.  
>In this house our father raised us a certain way, we had southern hospitality and when others needed our help we did not deny them but in this world first rule is never put yourself at risk for anyone. "Did he get bit?" Daddy asks and Shane shakes his head "No sir, You're friend Otis shot him, when we we're hunting." Daddy is still in no hurry which is really annoying and I am his daughter. I am watching him he doesn't look worried or scared he looks tough and strong "Where is Otis?" he asks and Shane responds "He is with Rick, Carl's father and Daryl, they went to go get our group as well as Lori, Carl's momma" he nods "This group of yours, how many are you?" Shane nods "Ten. Look sir, I don't mean any disrespect, but Carl is losing blood real fast, and I am not going anywhere, you're friend Otis will be coming back in one piece. So you can grill me after this boy is stable and not dying. Please." I am surprised, Daddy nods and puts his gun down, how on earth did that work.<br>Daddy calls out "Jimmy come out here a minute." Jimmy walks outside, Jimmy is the seventeen year old son of Otis and Patricia, his birthday is October 10th 1993, he has sandy blonde hair, brown eyes like Otis, he is tall and skinny, and a skateboarder. Jimmy and I have known each other since we were babies, because Otis and Patricia have been in my daddy's life for a very, very, long time. He looks at me as he comes outside he smiles at me and waves, then he looks at daddy "Jimmy, I need your help. This is Shane and that boy is Carl, he got shot." daddy looks at Shane "Follow me" Daddy walks in to the house, Shane follows, Jimmy is behind them, then Maggie then myself, none of us wiped our shoes so that means there is going to be an hour of my life wasted cleaning the floors tonight. We are all in Shawn's old room, daddy has Patricia by his side as Shane puts Carl down "Gentle" she tells Shane, she starts getting his prepared, daddy looks over at Maggie "Maggie get some antiseptics, Beth bring me my medical bag" We both nod but I go upstairs, I walk in to his office and I reach for his medical bag on top of the shelf, I walk back downstairs and I hand it to him "Thank you doodle bug" I blush and nod. I've been called doodle bug since I was six years old it comes from the fact that one summer day I doodled a picture of me as a bug on the wall and it stuck.  
>"Jimmy, I need you and Maggie to go for a run to the hospital" they both nod and take off, then he looks at Shane "I assume you are not going to leave his side?" Shane nods "That's right, or else my head will be on a spike." daddy nods "Help Patricia" then he looks at me "Beth, I need you to go outside and wait for the group, as soon as they come tell Rick and Carl's momma to come in as soon as possible." I nod and I walk outside waiting again with no gun. Both of them are really good at what they do, both can just easily get in to the hang of things, it's natural and not forced, and it's awesome to see because they truly do love what they do. Momma use to talk about this spark that lights up in daddy's eyes when he is knee deep in helping a person or an animal, it's a passion that he has for his work. I am that same way when it comes to art; when I am knee deep in my oils and canvas, I lose myself and I feel inspired to create the masterpiece of a lifetime that will stop you in your tracks when you are walking by it. For Maggie it is or was that way with music, but she lost that passion when her world fell apart, Shawn wanted to be like Daddy, and he was on the right track, he was so close, then this new world took over and it ended his life. Momma was also like that, she had a spark that would light up when she was helping people.<br>Our Camp Ground  
>I am holding Rick up with Otis as were putting him in the car I hear him muttering something under his breath, the deer is in the back of the pick-up. We both get in to the pick-up, and I am driving towards our camp as we are pulling in I am eventually being greeted with guns. I honk the horn, whistle, they put their guns down and start making their way towards us.<br>We get out of the car and they are looking at Otis "Who is this?" asks Glenn he looks at me "This is Otis" then Andrea looks at Otis "Why are you here Otis?" he looks at me I shake my head and he stays silent I walk over to him "Where is Lori?" Then I look at T-Dog "You guys can trust him" Dale nods and walks over "I am Dale" then he holds out his hand and Otis takes it in his own "I am Otis, nice to meet you" then I look back at Glenn "Will you please help me and Otis bring the deer over to our butcher block" He nods and holds out his hand to Otis, then T-Dog holds out his hand to Otis "I am T-Dog, this is Andrea, and Carol, " he nods and acknowledges them all We walk to the back of the truck, we bring the deer to our butchers block, where Andrea, Dale and Carol are standing by to help clean it. I see Lori walking out of the RV, she stretches and yawns she makes eye contact with me and smiles, I smile at her and she walks over to me. I look at Otis "Stay by the car" he nods and I walk over to Lori, she looks at me " Who is that?" I think of ways to tell her but there are none, so I just say it "So this is Otis, he is here because well there was an accident." I see her freaking out but I reach for her shoulder "It's going to be okay, I promise. Carl accidently got shot in the side, Otis told Shane to take him to a doctor, he knows, Shane is there with him right now and he will be okay." she shakes her head "NO! my baby how did this happen?" I shake my head "It was quick, I am not sure how it all went down." she looks at Otis "Otis, how did this happen?" he shakes his head at her and takes off his hat holding it to his chest "Mam, it happened as I was taking a shot, I aimed for the deer I let out a shot and Carl moved in to the way as the deer was falling and it went in to him. I am truly sorry I had no intention of hurting anyone but that deer." she stares at him, shakes her head, then she slaps him in the face, not long after she breaks in to tears and has Otis comforting her, which he does when he wraps his arms around her holding her. Woman in general are confusing, and I shake my head.  
>After a few minutes Lori calms down and she looks at me "Where is Rick? With Carl?" I shake my head "Rick is in shock, he is muttering, I've never seen him like this." I look at Otis "Open the back door" he walks over, he opens the door, you see Rick shaking back and forth with bloody hands wrapped over his head, you hear him muttering " I don't know how to get him out of it." She shakes her head, I tell her "You need to go with him over to Hershel's farm," she nods and looks at T-Dog "T-Dog you're coming with us, you need to get that arm checked on" I look at T-Dog he is in bad shape, he is sweating, he looks pale, and his arm looks infected he gets in the car, then she gets in beside Rick "come on Otis, let's get going." she closes the door, Otis nods at me and jumps in to the driver's seat, driving off. I look at the remaining group members Dale, Andrea, Glenn, and Carol.<br>I am looking at Daryl, he doesn't look worried or upset but I know he is, Daryl and me are cut from the same cloth-short on showing our feelings or emotions but got a whole hell of a lot of them on the inside. We have been through a lot as a group and as individuals, but it doesn't make it easier when our friends are in turmoil-so our way to help is by being strong and do anything possible for them. I am pulled out of my thoughts when I hear Daryl speaking "Andrea will you please get to work on that deer. We are going to need to move soon to the farm, before the sun sets."  
>She nods and gets to work, I look over at Dale "Dale, will you please go help Andrea, then I need you to check our cars to make sure everything is good." he nods and I look at Glenn and Carol "I need you two to go on a run, find anything you can that will help Carl and T-Dog just in case we need more than what this doctor can give us, also if you can find anything else we might need." they nod and walk away, he reaches for his gun, extra ammo, and his knife and so does Carol they get in the car and leave.<br>It's been an hour in a half, Carol and Glenn returned, we finished with the deer, and we packed up everything "Alright folks, lets round up we're moving to the Hershel's farm." I am walking past Andrea and Carol, Carol stops me and has her hands on my arms "It will be okay" I nod at her "I hope so" I leave her side, I walk over to my bike well it's Merle's but I am borrowing it, I start the engine and ride over to the road, then the RV is in line and I start revving the engine of Merle's bike and go the direction that Otis told me to follow, we stay compact with Carol driving her car and Glenn driving the blue pick-up.

**The Greene Farm**

Meanwhile I've been sitting here for an hour in a half, looking for the rest of Rick's group. I look through the window, I see Lori is sitting with Rick who has now come out of his shock, he is giving blood and Carl is lying in the bed, still and pale but stable. I met T-Dog and he is getting checked on by Patricia. Jimmy and Maggie came back from the hospital, While Shane and Otis went to go in to town to get some antibiotics and other things will need for Carl and T-Dog. I start thinking about how daddy talks about all that boring medical stuff, it makes me proud to have him as my father, it makes me feel like I have superman as my dad because he helps save people. I have never wanted to be a doctor, I am more the creative type you know art, writing, and photography it's just too bad I didn't get to finish high school and go off to an ivy league university like I planned on. This has been going on for a year and six months a zombie apocalypse happened and well this is the life we are living to survive in, my purpose now is to survive as best as I can.  
>I am pulled out of my head by the sounds of a motorcycle and some engines, I saw the man on the bike he has got to be Daryl, he looks like the lone wolf, fully exposed to the world not afraid for his life but he was leading the group which means he's the hunter, tracker, and offensive lineman of the group. On his back is a crossbow, he wears it with satisfaction, and his clothes are ripped and dirty, his vest is leather and jean, his hair is too long and very black. Our eyes meet and I look away with embarrassment that he caught me staring at him. He turns his bike around, and parks it further in so that the bigger vehicles are able to park. He shuts the engine off and sits there, I look at the others behind him as they shut their engines off, and come out of the cars, I see an older gentleman and a blonde woman who is very pretty, walking out of the RV. The RV looks like it carries the old, the woman, and children they are the providers and caregivers and they need to be protected. I look over to the car behind the RV, it is a range rover and it is beautiful, the woman who walks out of it has short grey hair, she looks tough, and unafraid, she walks over to Daryl and stands beside him. Then I look over at the blue pick-up truck, it is in the back because it is the defensive lineman of the group, it is there to protect the RV. A man walks out of it of Asian descent he looks like he is around Maggie's age.<br>I walk down the steps feeling many eyes on me, I walk over to the older gentleman "Hello, I am Beth Greene. Welcome to our farm." He holds out his hand to me and smiles, I smile and feel at ease "Hi I am Dale, this is Glenn, Andrea, Carol and over there is Daryl." I shake hands with Carol, Glenn, Andrea but when I am holding my hand out in front of Daryl he just looks at me and ignores me, I shake my head I am not going to tolerate this crap, I look at the others "You all can go inside, Carl is stable they are just waiting for Shane and Otis to come back with supplies, T-Dog is doing good, Rick is out of shock and they'll fill you in." Andrea squeezes my hand, Dale walks inside, Glenn smiles and nods "Thank-you" I nod, and Carol looks at Daryl, Yuck rhyming names "You going to come inside?" he nods "Yeah I'll be in soon" she nods turning around, she smiles at me, then stops and looks back at him "Don't be too mean to her, she is still a girl." he looks at me and we stare at each other "Yeah" Carol walks inside.  
>I am staring at her, she really is a teenager at least fifteen she is really skinny, pale skin, blonde hair neatly brushed and braided, no dirty stained clothing, she looks like she doesn't belong in this world-it's as if god put her here to tease us.<br>Once they disappear in to the house, I look at Daryl and I stare at him there is anger rising within me "You are incredibly rude" he looks at me with surprise "What are you talking about?" I shake my head "What are you too cool, to practice manners?" His hair is flying wildly around his head, his face is stoic, he has a tough exterior but he doesn't scare me His silence is bugging me "Why aren't you saying anything? You owe me an apology." I stare at him in silence, losing patience, he stares at me, silently.  
>I am looking at her and she is clearly getting pissed but just because her daddy is helping Carl does not mean I have to change my ways. She wants an apology, not likely, I am not the apologizing type. I snort and shake my head "You isn't going to get one sweetheart."<br>I shake my head "Why not, old man?" He is surprised by my forwardness and is staring at me, all of a sudden he moves fast and is in my face I jumped because he was fast but I stood my ground, he smells like dirt and man I look in to his blue eyes "You best be careful of the way you talk to strangers" I shake my head "What are you going to do about it?" . With his persona and the way he presents himself to the world, I should be terrified of him but I am not anywhere close to being scared of him.  
>I made her jump but she is still standing her ground, she isn't terrified of me. She smells like baby powder "That is the wrong answer" she looks weak and easy to take on, she will not survive out there. I am looking in to her blue eyes then I look at her giving me a confused look "You still owe me an apology" she repeats I shake my head "Wrong. I don't apologize for nothing, this is how people act. This is what our world is now." she shakes her head "Yeah maybe that's true." I nod "It is." and she shakes her head "But in this house, you are not going to get very far with that outlook on how the world is, and on how you act. We are doing you a favour and risking our lives to save Carl. In our house we use manners, we have rules." I look at her "Rules? There isn't no rules no more." she stares at me "Yeah out here in the world there aren't but inside the grounds of this farm there are." I am silent I have no idea if she is just saying that or not, she continues "The quicker you learn my daddy is very stuck in his ways, and very tough, the better off it will be for you and your group especially for Carl." I look at her and she looks at me, I am still in her face and she is mine we both haven't moved or shifted "Why do you even care?" she laughs and smiles "Isn't obvious?" I shake my head "Clearly not" she shakes her head "You are so full of attitude" I shake my head "Pfftt, you have no idea about attitude" Of all farms we got to land at, It has got to be with Mini Christina Aguilera whose got the divatude of Diana Ross and the rage of Xena warrior princess. she shakes her head "Yeah and you have no idea what it's like here." alright that is fair, I reach for her arms and I move her out of my face before someone comes out here and screams Rape.<br>I didn't even realize I was still standing in his face, he moved me back I like feeling the warmth of his hands on my arms huh, what? I shake my head to throw those thoughts away. We are looking at each other "Alright I hear you." she nods at me "And?" I shake my head at her "I am sorry" she smiles at me overjoyed at herself "Thank-you" I give her a fake smile, and we stand there in silence.**  
><strong> As I walked in to the house, I saw Rick talking to the man I assume is Hershel, he nods at me and I walk over to him "How are you?" I ask and Rick nods "I am better now." He nods and he points at the older gentleman "Glenn, this is Hershel Greene. Hershel this is Glenn Rhee, he is the guy who saved my life when I first woke up in this new world." I shake Hershel's hand "Nice to meet you. So how is Carl?" He nods at me "He is good, we were able to get the bullet out and it did not cause a lot of damage." I smile and nod "That's good to hear. Thank-you for helping us." He nods "Your welcome." Hershel smiles "So as I was saying my daughter Maggie is always going on runs for us, she is our best." Rick nods "Glenn ere' is our best, he is reliable, he has a knack for hitting targets, and he avoids trouble, we always use him for runs, he is a walking compass and he knows where a lot of these really great hideaways places are, and finally he is great with a gun." Hershel shakes his head at Rick "No guns, we do not keep guns on our person." I look at Rick with concern I am not one for guns, I never was but since going through this it has been very helpful. I don't like this, without guns you die, plain and simple. Rick and I make eye contact, I shake my head and he looks at Hershel "Hershel with all due respect, we need guns as weapons if there ever is an attack." He shakes his head "My house my rules." He is crazy and stubborn, Rick nods "I understand that sir, but if your worried about being in danger trust me when I tell you the danger is not us, I can personally vouch for everyone when I say I trust my life in all of their hands. You see out there is where you need to worry about we've seen it, we've experienced it, and we've been fighting it." I nod in agreement, yah betcha that's for sure, we've come close to dying a few times "Especially if a hoard of walkers is coming at y'all at one time, hand to hand combat will be useless for all those hoards and that will mean that there will be unnecessary deaths." C'mon, Hershel, don't be so stupid. Hershel looks at Rick with confusion. he is silent "Walkers that is what you call those people." He nods "Yes sir." He looks hesitant, "Fine, I will allow you have your weapons close but I do not want to see any guns inside this house, and I do not want to hear a gun go off unless there is attacks. Your understand me?" Rick nods "Yes sir, I understand." Hershel nods "I will not give you second chances, you disobey my rules you guys are all out, and Carl's life will be in your hands." Rick looks at Hershel there is something angry about those words because its rubbing Rick the wrong way "You would risk Carl's well-being?" Hershel nods "Yes I would. I did not need to do this for you. I have my own family's well being to worry about. They will come before you and your group every day." Rick shakes his head and Hershel responds "Are you honestly telling me that if the role was reversed you would not be doing the same thing?" Rick stays silent for a moment "I would do the same thing, these people and my family are very important to me, and the lives of ten is a lot bigger than the lives of one. I just need to make sure that it never comes down to that choice having to be made." Hershel nods in agreement "I know you may think of me as a horrible human being but being this way has kept us safe, and if it's working there is no point on changing now." Rick nods "I respect that. Tonight will you go over all the rules of the house." Hershel nods "Yes, I would be happy to do that." They shake hands and Rick speaks first "Thank you again, for helping my son. I really do appreciate it. Also for allowing us to stay on your farm." Hershel holds his hand at Rick he nods and shakes it. "Alright they should be back real soon." Rick nods "Do you need more blood?" Hershel shakes his head "No sir, you just go and sit with your son and wife." Rick nods and walks away. I walk over to Dale and Andrea they are playing blackjack, I join in.  
>Meanwhile I am still out here with Daryl, he makes eye contact with me again, and is just staring at me we don't speak and we don't smile "Your just going to stand here?" he squints his eyes at me, I nod at him "Why wouldn't I?" he shakes his head "Don't you got to go play with some dolls or something?" I shake my head, I smile "I already did, right before you drove in." he shakes his head "Damn. Your feisty" I shake my head at him "Am I. How? I play with dolls that don't sound too feisty to me." He shakes his head "Your just trying to get a rise out of me" I smile at him "Maybe I am or maybe I just think your a colossal jerk." He replies "Pfftt, again you haven't met real colossal jerks." I shake my head at him "Real colossal jerks, you're a big enough one that I don't need to meet others like your." he is clearly getting annoyed by me "So you're really just going to stand here and bother me?" I nod at him "I was thinking about it." He looks up at me "What will it take for your to not bother me" I shrug "haven't thought about it yet." he nods "Alright then you do what you got to do." I am trying to figure out why I am still standing here. and why I feel the need to bother him-maybe it's because I like the breeze, the smell in the air, the sun on my skin and in this spot it's perfect even if Daryl is right beside me and nowhere near the same page I am on OR it's because I am still mad that he was rude and I know his apology wasn't fully sincere. I feel the sun hitting my skin, and I look up at it momentarily, I miss being able to just lay out under it with some lemonade and closing my eyes listening to the sounds of the world we live in, then I remember what it sounds like now and I shake my head 'forget about it Beth, it ain't going to be that easy so quickly.' I am pulled out of my thoughts with Daryl's barely audible voice "were you saying something?" He shakes his head "I asked why you we're shaking your head?" I looked at him leaning on his motorcycle, looking like he is James Dean, still staring at me "I was just thinking how much I miss lying out under the sun with some lemonade with my eyes closed and listening to the sounds of the world."<br>Those words make me mad, this girl is living a fairytale, she is here just to tease us, make us ache from not being able to live like she does. I shake my head with anger, I have no idea how it feels like to do that "Well maybe your should get on that then. Look there is some nice open space right over there, just lie down and take in the vitamin C." Those words stung a little, his face is stoic "Then I remembered that those sounds are no more and are replaced with different ones, horrible ones." I shake my head "How come you never show your emotions?" he stares and is silent, so I ask "Don't you ever get tired of being so closed up?" he is still silent. I hear a car pulling in to the driveway, so did he because he is in front of me holding his crossbow out "Zombies don't drive cars" he responds but blocks me still "Your right but there are very bad people out there now. and they are human and able to drive." I look at his vest on the back of it, it has these black angel wings I reach out and I trace my finger along it he turns his head a little bit but then goes back to focusing on the car driving in, this act of him standing in front of me is not only a surprise but also a comfort and I can't quite decide why that is, Otis's truck pulls in to the driveway, Daryl puts his crossbow down when Otis and Shane walk up to us, Otis pulls me in for a hug, he is bruised up, I panic when I see his face "Otis your face." he shakes his head "Don't worry darling, it will heal." he pulls me in for a hug and we hold each other "I deserved this. I am just glad he didn't kill me." I pull away and I feel like crying "How has your day been so far, darling?" I smile and nod "Eventful but quiet. Are you okay?" he shrugs "It's been a hard day. and it will get better." I nod and bring him in for another hug "Yes it will. I love you Otis." we pull away, "I love you to darling." he squeezes my hand and walks in to the house.  
>I look at Daryl who is standing away from me whispering to Shane he looks peeved off, I look at Shane he doesn't look sorry not one bit "He shot Carl" I hear him and Daryl looks at me then whispers and Shane looks at me then looks at Daryl, I walk over to him casually and I kick him in the balls, he yelps and falls to the ground holding his balls in pain. I bring my foot over to his balls and I step on them with the hardest part of my boot, I lean over and he makes eye contact with me "If you ever hurt Otis again, I will hurt you and you may not ever be able to use your junk for anything at all including procreating. Do you understand me?" He looks at me with pain and anger "He shot Carl" he repeats I nod my head "Your right he did but Otis has been in our lives for a very long time, he is a wonderful man. He would never hurt someone on purpose, he has a track record proving that. He does not hurt or kill people, especially children."<br>I am surprised by this reaction. I also find her incredibly attractive right now. I have never seen Shane get taken down like that, especially not by a girl who is 5'4 and weighs as much as a giant stuffed teddy bear, it was amazing. As of right now, I have so much respect for Beth and I would have never guessed she would have this in her. I look at her as she pushes down harder "Do you understand?" he is in lots of pain, I definitely do not want to be in his position right now those cowboy boots are brutal, she keep pushing down.  
>He yelps a little more "Yes...Yes I...Understand" I step off him "If my father finds out you did that to his face, he will not hesitate to kill you." I look down at him "Otis is a wonderful man and if you knew him you would know he is dying on the inside from this, he believes he deserves what you did to him, I disagree with that belief." Shane is looking at me with death in his eyes, I lean down and I look in to his eyes giving him the same look "You better tell my father before he learns about this for himself." Shane shakes his head "What you think I am stupid. Otis is not going to say anything." I nod "Your right he won't. Neither will I. But I am telling you right now, once daddy learns about this which will happen because look at his face. You and everyone else including Carl will be kicked off this farm and that surgery daddy is doing will not matter anymore because he needs to heal and recuperate. So you will be the one who killed Carl, not my dad."<br>Hearing her say that sent chills down my back, I looked at Shane he looks like he is trying to figure out if she is telling the truth. She removes her foot, and he is up and reaching for her but I swoop in and I knock him straight in the jaw. "You lay a finger on her or anyone else in her family. Next time I hit you it will be harder for you to get up." she is standing behind me, I turn to her "You okay?" she smiles at me and brings me in for a hug, I smell her scent and I love it, I feel her warmth and I love it, she pulls away "Thank-you" I miss her body heat and her scent. I nod at her then I look down at Shane this time leaning beside him "She is telling the truth. Carl is our first priority and if you're ego, anger and stupidity do anything to jeopardize that kid, then test me out and see what happens to you." I stand up leaving him on the ground in pain, I look over at her, she smiles at me "You learn fast" I nod at her "You have no idea" she smiles at me and nods "You coming in?" I do not feel bad for him he is an asshole, and he deserves everything that he gets, Beth and Otis did not deserve that. "Yeah, I am coming in!" she nods and smiles at me, we walk back to the truck to pick up the rest of the supplies, then we walk in to the house.  
>I start walking fully aware that I am being stared at, when we walk in to the house my eyes are met with Carol's blue, she walks over to us "You we're awhile. everything okay?" he nods and smiles "Of course, we were just waiting on Shane and Otis. How is Carl?" She nods "Hershel started the surgery, he was so pale like a ghost. It's so scary." Daryl nods and brings her in to him for a hug, he is holding her but we make eye contact he smiles at me and nods, I do the same and I walk over to Otis who is sitting in the corner, eyes focused and lost in thought. As I am walking to him I make eye contact with Andrea. she smiles and so do I.<br>_ As I am looking over at Beth, she reminds me of Aimee in not only the looks sense with the blonde hair and blue eyes but with how she carries herself she looks like she has a high ethic code, like she is driven, persistent, truthful, and wholesome and like she'd be a solid support system in crises. I am following Beth with my eyes and I see Lori, she looks worried but strong-that family is full of strong people, each and every one of them are fighters, I know they will come out of this better than before.  
><em>I walk over to Daryl and Carol "Have you seen Shane?" he nods "He's outside" I shake my head "Why?" Daryl shrugs but stays silent. I look at him with confusion, then I walk outside, I see Shane sitting on the steps he is stretched out across the steps his hand is in his lap, he looks up at me, almost jumping out of his skin "What are you doing out here?" he shakes his head at me "getting air" I shake my head "you're not looking so good, you okay?" he nods "Yeah I am fine. how is Carl? Rick? Lori?" I nod and smile "good, all good-they are doing the surgery now. That family is full of fighters." he nods "that's for sure." I nod "Do you want company?" he shakes his head "No, I'll be in, in a few minutes." I nod at him "You seem weird, you sure your okay?" he nods "A lot on my mind, just got to have some time alone to think. No worries I'll be okay in a few." she nods and leans down giving me a kiss on the lips "see you in a bit" she walks in to the house, I feel a good load of pain from that little girl, her shoes we're deadly and from the white trash hick who punched me in the jaw. I am going to be honest with him, I am going to accept his punishment of death, I am ready to die. I move to get up, I walk inside the house where I go and sit beside my woman. _  
>I am watching Beth. when you look at her beauty, her spirit, and her love for others you feel as if when she is around you, everything will be alright. she makes you feel at peace. Then when you see her physical body you worry because she has no muscle, no fat, and she is a petite girl and you know most people could over-power her. She also has an innocence about her that worries me as it would for any mother in this world because now there are a lot of men and some woman who are animals, they are no longer stopped by laws, they push the limits, and they take advantage of those who are weaker than they are.<br>_I am sitting with Jimmy, we are talking I am clearly not listening because I am thinking of my time outside with Daryl I am sure there is a sin being committed by me right now

_God, I need your forgiveness for thinking of Daryl while I am spending time with Jimmy, also please help Carl. Amen._

Two hours later, after Maggie and I have asked everyone if they want something to drink or something to eat, time after time, Jimmy has left my side and disappeared in the room. He finally opens the door and stands before us with twelve eyes looking his way "The good news is, we got the bullet out and Hershel has him stable." Everyone smiles and is hugging each other. Jimmy starts answering Rick and Lori's questions, I can see Shane listening intently I make eye contact with him and he is frightened. Jimmy walks back in to the room and Shane walks over to Lori and Rick, he gives her a hug, and then gives Rick a hug "I need some air, I'll be right back" he leaves the house. Rick and Lori look at each other with confusion, Rick walks to follow him. While Lori walks over to Andrea and Carol, she whispers something then they walk over to Daryl, Carol walks over to Glenn she whispers something in his ear, he nods and they walk outside I walk casually to the window and I open it to let some air in, I sit at it looking outside seeing Carol and Glenn get in to the blue pickup, loading their weapons before driving off. I hear Daryl "If you want to" I look over at them, they are nodding in agreement and the three of them are going to walk out of the house. I dash over to Otis "Can I go with them please" he looks hesitant "You better not let me live to regret this Elizabeth Lillian Greene" I nod and I kiss his cheek "I love you" he smiles "I love you too" The three of them walk out of our house, I walk out of the house and I see them all go to the RV, Andrea and Lori turn around when they hear the door "Beth, are you following us?" I blush and smile "Maybe" Lori smiles and pulls me in to her side "Can you keep a secret?" I nod and smile "Of course" then Andrea takes my hand "Does anyone know your here?" I nod "Otis" She nods "Good, alright you are going to need this" she pulls a knife out of a bag that is sitting on the floor of the RV, she places the holder for it on my hip "Have you used this before?" Asks Lori, I shake my head "No mam" she laughs "Call me Lori-mam is my mother" I nod and smile "Alright Lori." She smiles "You need to listen to us-do not go off on your own, and do not try and be tougher than you are. You follow our leads. Do you understand?" I nod at them "Understood" I look at Andrea and Daryl, we start walking towards the rest of the farms in our surrounding areas we are holding bags and Lori, Daryl, and Andrea are holding their guns.  
><em>Dear God,<em> _Please watch over Carl and please protect the people I love and those that are under our roof. Also could you please protect us from harm today. Amen _

"So tonight we are going to make dinner for your family." I smile and nod "That is very kind of you guys, but it isn't necessary." Lori nods "It isn't necessary for your daddy to help us." I stay silent and I nod in agreement

_Isaiah 40:29-31 (New International Version)_

_29__ He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. __30__ Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. __31__ but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint._

_Amen__2_

"So what are you guys doing right now?" Andrea smiles "Carol found this little piece of ravine on a map, so her and Glenn went to go check it out to see if Sophia could have been there. While we are going to go and check to see some of the houses in the surrounding area for any extra goods that we can cook with tonight." I look at Lori with confusion "Who is Sophia?" She looks at me with sadness "Carol's thirteen year old daughter, we all got split up, and she got lost in the shuffle of things, she's been missing for 17 days." It saddens my heart to hear those words "I will say a prayer for her" they nod and I pray

_**Nahum 1:7 **__**New International Version (NIV)**_

_7 __The __Lord__ is good,__  
><em>_a refuge in times of trouble.__  
><em>_He cares for those who trust in him,__3_

"Carol will find her" They nod in agreement but stay silent. "You ladies stick close to me" I look over at Daryl, he is ahead of us but not by a lot. They have no protection behind them, I can hear their conversation and it is boring but I am good at keeping myself busy.  
>"So, Beth tell us a little about yourself." I shrug "What would you like to know?" They stay silent "Anything, you pick." I nod "I am sixteen. I love art, photography, writing, and music." Then I look at Andrea "what about you?" she nods "I was a lawyer before this started, I had a good education, I had good parents they never treated me badly, they raised my sister and I differently because I guess they felt like they made mistakes with me because I have always been a little rebellious or have a wild streak. I am from Jacksonville, Florida." Then I look at Lori "Lori, what about you?" she nods "I was a stay-at-home mom before all this, I use to be a receptionist in a dentist office-but that was a long time ago back when I was living in Greenville, Mississippi." Then Andrea continues her story "I didn't see my sister as much as I wanted to see her, I missed her birthdays. I was twelve years older than she was. I am the tom boy of the group. I don't do well when it comes to cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids I am much better off being with the guys, hunting and protecting. I am not afraid to voice my opinions, I am not afraid to fight or defend myself and others, I am intelligent, cautious but brave." I smile at Andrea "If your could be sixteen again would you do it all over again?" She shakes her head "Not one bit." I smile and laugh and look at Lori "If you could be sixteen again, would you?" she shakes her head "No!" I nod "Yeah neither would I" We stay silent, Lori breaks the silence "I honestly don't have any regrets, I believe that everything happens so that it can allow your to grow." Andrea nods in agreement "I agree a 100%" We go back to silence, until I break it "I have no regrets either. I just wish I could have done a lot more then I had been doing. I also have no say over what happens in my life because I am sixteen and Daddy is still in control over what happens with me." Lori squeezes my hand "It will get better" I smile and nod "Be right back I have to ask Daryl something" she walks ahead leaving me with Andrea and leaving enough space between us to fill it with another small group.<br>I am looking at her, and she seems upset by those words but is also very sure of just how much truth there are to them. I shake my head and she smiles at me "If you eva wanna learn how to fight we all learned from the best which is Daryl and Shane they taught us what we know while Daryl also taught myself and Glenn how to track." I smile "That's very kind of you! I would like that very much but it isn't up to me." Andrea nods at me "I doubt daddy will let me and especially seeing as how rough and tumble Daryl looks I am sure he won't be happy about it." Andrea shakes her head "It's a damn shame when people judge books by their covers, Daryl is loyal, he may be a redneck but he ain't stupid, he is reliable, he is a hunter and tracker, he is a lone wolf but keeps us strong, we need him like he needs us." I nod and Lori comes up next to us again, after talking to Daryl about the direction we are heading towards "You sound like you have a crush on him, do all the woman in this group have a thing for Daryl?" I ask and she laughs "Oh no, he is the best person but he will always be a big brother to me." Lori smiles and nods in agreement "That's right, Daryl is like a brother to me. Plus, he's already spoken for by Carol." Andrea looks at Lori "Are you sure about that, he seems in no hurry to make it official." Daryl interrupts our conversation "I can hear y'all" then Lori and Andrea grab my hands, we run over to him and we stop him "Well now that we have your attention. what is going on with Carol?" he shakes his head "Nothing that needs talking about-especially not with you two." Lori shakes her head "Better us than others" Andrea nods "Better us than Carol" Lori shrugs "Maybe it is, maybe it isn't-all I have to say Mr. Closed Lips, is this." she clears her throat, she looks at Andrea they nod at each other and speak "You are leading her on and giving her false hope, and you are stopping her from getting closure." they say it in perfect sequence with each other. He stays silent but he acknowledges them with a nod, then he starts walking ahead of us, Andrea looks at Lori "We did what we had to do" she nods "and did it without getting in their business." Andrea nods "Come on let's go before we lose him"  
>Lori is ahead with Daryl, while Andrea and I are behind them with some distance between us. We are walking in a comfortable silence "So why do you ask about Daryl? Do you have a thing for Daryl?" I shake my head "He makes me mad, earlier when he ignored me that was rude and I wanted to punch him in the face" I shake my head hoping it will shake the anger building "He's got this look of me against the world, which is stupid because it isn't him versus everyone else, your entire group loves him, the world probably wouldn't care about him." I shake my head "He portrays this look of being tough, of someone who you wouldn't want to mess with." she smiles "So why aren't you scared of him?" I shrug "I have no idea" I stay silent for a second "He is also a complete and utter mystery to me, because I can't read him, he's so closed off." She looks at me and smiles "What?" she shakes her head "Is there anything positive in there?" I take a breather I am going to leave what happened between us, so I respond with "He also listens when you tell him something, and when he's stubborn, he corrects it if you tell him how it is." I shake my head "We just met. I don't think I have a crush on him but I am definitely curious about him. We spent ten minutes with each other and he has that weird thing with Carol." She nods at me "True, he has this weird thing with Carol. Maybe all you need is as little as ten minutes to know someone is special." I nod then think back to what my daddy says<p>

_You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.__4_

It's not the same thing but Andrea is just as right. "So what are you gonna do?" I shake my head at her "What do you mean? With What?" She motions over to Daryl, I am looking at those wings again, they are super cool and they are soft. "I am sixteen years old, what can I offer him-Carol is a woman and can offer him so much more than I can. Besides its pointless if we never see each other again." She is staring at me "Hmm, well a lot can happen in ten minutes. Yeah your sixteen but your age says nothing about you I stopped believing you when you said Carol can offer him so much more because she is a woman, I think your wrong because your just as special as Carol, if not more so and you'd be good together." I stay silent taking in what she said "Honestly, if you did have a thing for Daryl Dixon I believe you owe it to yourself to figure out how you feel, especially while we are around, and while he has this weird thing with Carol that he is at the moment not moving forward or backwards with." I look at her and she smiles at me "You have as much of a chance as anyone else does, don't ever sell yourself short." I nod and smile at her "Thank you" she nods at me "Your welcome. He deserves all the happiness in the universe, he needs someone who will take him as he is but still challenge him to be better-—he needs to start believing in something so he can figure out who he is." I nod and smile. After almost being gone for an hour, we decided to make our way back with the stuff we found, Beth has been a champ and she's really good at listening to me and following my direction. We we're attacked a few times but it was only minor attacks, as we're making our way back to the Farm, all I hear are the girls chatting about the past-about how before the apocalypse they we're their happiest like Andrea who was living in Florida, practicing law, going to bars every night and having new men more often than not "You aren't into relationships?" asks Beth to Andrea, "not at all-I am independent I do not want someone else dictating what I can and cannot do, having to be around the same guy all the time, sharing things with him like feelings, and having your space be invaded by another person. It didn't sound appealing but now it's kind comforting while we are in an apocalypse where it's not as simple or easy like it was before." I stay silent, she and I make eye contact "What about you Beth? Did you have a boyfriend or do you have one?" I heard what Andrea asked me, I stayed silent at first but then I decided to just go for it "Well, I am technically "dating" Jimmy" Lori looks confused "Technically?" I nod and respond "Well, I am not sure how it happened-Jimmy and I have been best friends for a long time. he's been in my life since the beginning and then the apocalypse hit and all of a sudden they are calling him my boyfriend-I've been "dating" him for three months" her voice goes lower "We've never kissed. We've never done anything. We don't hold hands either." Andrea "Has Jimmy tried any of that?" I nod "All except having sex. He knows I am waiting for that. With the kissing and hand holding I tell him, I am not ready" Andrea looks surprised again "He accepts that? He doesn't say anything else?" I shake my head "I feel like deep down he knows, and he just wishes that one day, I will sing another tune." I shake my head "But I won't. I love Jimmy and I love his parents, we're one big family and we all need each other especially during this time. I don't want me hurting him to ruin what we have, because Daddy needs Otis, Maggie needs Patricia, and I need Jimmy and he needs me." Lori looks at me "You are giving up your own happiness." I shrug "Maybe I am but I am also not willing to risk losing this wonderful friend of mine he is the only person in this world who I can turn to and get a teenager answer from when I don't want a grown up answer." Andrea laughs "I understand that, grownups never lie to you, they do and say things to make sure you are kept happy, and they protect you. I also understand that you want nothing to change, but are you sure that everything will change. Jimmy is probably very reasonable." Lori nods in agreement "It may hurt him now but eventually if you never do fall for him, you will hurt him a lot harder in the future."  
>I am staying silent, I am pretty sure I even stopped breathing because you could hardly hear the words coming out of anyone's mouths but I did, and I also see a lot of resemblance to my situation with Carol. I respect Beth for what she is doing but eventually it will be too hard to break up with him, or like me there will be too many excuses. "I am scared to break his heart, I can't lose him and I am still not sure how he would take it. This apocalypse has affected him, he isn't strong like everyone else." I shake my head she is too good of a person, she has a big heart, and she is so strong and disciplined. She everyday gives up so much for her family and they don't even have the courtesy to teach her how to protect herself. She has put others ahead of herself so many times since I met this girl. First with getting down my throat about manners, and how her daddy will kick us out, then to knocking down Shane and making sure that he takes full responsibility for his actions towards Otis. I've never met anyone on Beth's level before, none of the woman I have ever had in my life would do what she does...not even Carol. I still think the idea of keeping a boyfriend like in her case or a girlfriend seems exhausting especially keeping one during a zombie apocalypse who has time for that I don't have time to take a leak, and I especially don't have time to take a dump.<br>When we arrived back Carol and Glenn were back, Glenn was playing blackjack with Dale, Carol was helping Maggie with refreshments and drinks in the living room. T-Dog was sleeping on the couch inside the living room, with the doors closed. Daddy, Patricia, and Jimmy we're still with Carl, and Shane was sitting on the chair staring in to space. Otis was sitting in the dining room at the head of the table, going over this paper daddy probably gave to him. When we walk in, he looks up at me and whistles "Hello Y'all, if you would be so kind and join me in the dining room, so we can get started on our meeting." We are all sitting at the dinner table, Maggie and I are on the other side of him. Maggie breaks the silence first "Rick, there is a lot of property on this farm, so y'all can find the right spot for your selves there are six wells all around the property. You can use that for water, there is going to be fresh fruit and veggies provided to you all the time, we do daily runs in to town and our house is open to you whenever you need something." I look at Daryl and Rick talking amongst themselves, Shane is sitting there uninvolved, they nod at her, then look Otis's way "We'd like to share our kills with your family from earlier today, we got a deer and we will need to share a little bit of it before it goes bad." I look at Otis who nods "Thank you gentleman, tonight we can have it for dinner and we would like to welcome you to join us for a meal." I smile "We'll all the ladies already planned on us all having one big meal-Lori, Andrea, and Carol all want to show daddy how grateful they are for helping Carl out." Otis smiles "Hershel would be appreciative of that-that is very kind of y'all." Otis nods "With that being said, I have some unsettling news to share with you, Hershel has made it very clear that after Carl is a one hundred percent better and ready to travel, he would like for your to be on your way. He also told me to tell y'all the rules of this house and if they are not abided by, he will send you all on your way." Rick nods "We understand sir." Otis goes in to the rules, and I start staring at Daryl, I am looking at him he is attractive, he looks like he also has experience, he looks like he's lived and like he's never been in one spot for a long time. After about ten minutes Daryl meets my eyes, he winks at me and I blush and make a sneeze sound to cover the blush, I hear a few people say "Bless you" I smile and say "Thanks" Well played Beth Greene, I am sure Daryl saw it though, so I avoid his eyes but I feel them on me. I listen back to Otis "You understand that these rules are in stone, there is no second chances. You have a lot at risk here." Rick looks at his group, they nod in agreement.  
>I am listening to Otis talking for Hershel and I can't believe how he has such a chip on his shoulder whatever happened to southern hospitality ooh right we're in a zombie apocalypse it's a human eat human kind of world now. I nod at Rick then he looks over at Shane, but he's not moving, then he shakes his head "I may have already messed this up for us" Rick doesn't react, does he know what Shane did "I hurt Otis like that. Beth told me that I need to tell Hershel before he realizes it himself-This is going to hurt Carl. I am so sorry. I didn't think it through, I just let my anger get to me" Maggie reaches for Shane and slaps him hard in the face "How dare you ever lay a hand on Otis." Otis reaches for Maggie, and Shane is being pulled out of her reach from Rick. "You are the stupidest man in the world, you could have saved your ass and saved Carl if you just killed him and lied by saying there was walkers who attacked him." shouts Andrea, she looks at Otis "I am sorry, I do not mean offense. I do not believe you deserved any of what this stupid idiot did to you." Otis shakes his head "I know you don't. I did deserve it, I should have moved on to another animal, I should have gone a little more right, or more left." Andrea shakes her head "NO!" Then Lori shakes her head "You could have ran and we would have never known, Carl would be dead, you did good. You helped Carl." Lori is clearly upset "You may have screwed up our chance of Carl getting better." shouts Lori. "If I were you, I'd run away and never come back here again because if my son dies today because Hershel finds out what you did to Otis. Not only will I kill you but I just may hurt you enough to turn then when you do, I will enjoy killing you." She walks out of the house with Andrea following her, leaving Shane there with Glenn, Dale, Carol, Rick, and me.<br>I walk after Andrea and Lori, then I hear Rick "You screwed up man." Then I shake my head. I am still standing in the door I open it when Daryl, Glenn, and Dale are behind me they walk through it and I am looking at Daryl as he walks by me I can smell his mixture of dirt and man and it's intoxicating. I am watching them as they walk to Lori and Andrea. I see Carol walking towards me, she smiles at me and is standing with her group. That leaves Maggie, Otis, Shane, and Rick inside. So I make my way outside and I am standing in front of Lori, I reach for her hand she looks at me "It will be okay, Maggie, myself, and Otis will let daddy take care of Carl." she squeezes my hand and nods "Thank-you"  
>I am standing here with Shane, Maggie, and Otis I am so angry that Shane would jeopardize this group like he did. Daryl always told me we shouldn't trust him, that he is not the man I use to know that this apocalypse may have changed him, I couldn't and wouldn't believe it. Shane looks at me "I am sorry, if I could take it back I would" I look at him with serious "Would you?" I shake my head and I walk out of the house.<br>Rick came out to us, then 20 seconds later Shane was walking towards us, Beth made her way inside "What do you think we should do with you?" I look at Shane, I shake my head "You should let me tell Hershel, you should let me tell him not to kick you guys out, and that I will go away by myself or I will let him kill me." He shakes his head "I don't want you guys to get kicked off the farm. You belong here. You all know how to function in this apocalypse-I don't, I am too angry, I am too unsympathetic, and I really have no care for this world." We all stand there in silence "I just want to say for the record I am really sorry that I hurt each and every one of you. I also want to say that I love you guys and I glad I got to have you guys in my life." He shakes his head "I'll be back in a few hours to tell Hershel" then he walks away.

**Three Hours Later**  
>When I heard the door open I am met with Shane he is so tall and blocks out everything when I am in front of him, I am amazed I was able to take him down like I did. He looks down at me "where is your dad?" he asks me and I point upstairs "his office" he walks away and makes his way up the stairs. Maggie and Otis walk out of the house over to Rick and the group, I walk in to the living room to check on T-Dog, he is sitting up "Hi. Remember me?" He looks my way and smiles "Beth. Hi" I look over at his arm "Your arm is looking better, how are you feeling?" I sit down beside him, he is a big guy all muscle and all height but he has this face of a teddy bear. He shows his emotions by his face while Daryl shows them through his actions, I can clearly see the pain he is in. He shakes his head "Not so good, I feel pain, nauseous and dizziness maybe it's because I took the pain killer and I didn't have enough food in my stomach." I smile "I'll get you some food and water, are you allergic to any foods?" He shakes his head "Not at all" I nod "Alright sounds good, lie back and close your eyes." I reach for the face cloth, I put some water on it and I put it on his head "Keep this on your head" He does and I walk away again working in the kitchen on PB &amp; J, I made him a sandwich with a half for me, I cut up some fruit and placed it in a bowl, then I got him a bottle of water. I walked back in to the room, closing the door with my foot and I walked over to him he sits up and looks at my choice of food "Looks good. Thank-you Beth." I nod and smile, he digs in "What was all the screaming about earlier. Lori sounded mad." I nod "She was. Shane beat up Otis, and Daddy is going to kill Shane when he finds out. Either that or he'll kick all of you guys off our farm." T-Dog looks worried, he shakes his head "Nah, would he do those things?" I nod "He would. Daddy is stuck in his ways, he has rules and he expects you to follow them. He loves Otis as a brother, they have a bond that is just strong as a blood bond. Otis never meant to shoot Carl, we all know this-including your group. Shane couldn't get past that and he took matters in to his own hands and now he is going to be punished. Daddy will not let this slide. I just hope and pray that he lets everyone else stay because Carl needs to recuperate and so do you." He finishes the last bite of his meal, he finishes his water bottle and he lies back with the cloth on his forehead "I am feeling better. Thank-you Beth." I smile then I hear him snore lightly, he fell asleep again. I pick up the tray and I walk outside of the room, closing the door behind me. I see Patricia and Jimmy walk out of the room. I walk in to the kitchen, and I close the doors of the kitchen washing the dishes. Keeping myself busy.<br>Otis walks over to us, I see his face again and this anger builds within me, what that man did to my husband and the will power it took for me not to run over to him and wring his neck, Jimmy saw and I needed to stop him from doing the same. When we talked to Otis. he told us he deserved this for shooting Carl. I told him that he did not deserve this. Otis disagreed and told us to make sure Hershel doesn't hurt Shane, that him hurting Shane is re-acting the same way Shane had. We both shook our heads in disagreement, "There was no reason for this to have happened. You did not get the gun, point it at Carl, and pull the trigger. Shane knew what he was doing." Otis shakes his head "Hershel will make them all leave. We cannot let that happen. Carl and T-Dog need us."  
>I am sitting at my desk I hear a knock on the door, I look up and its Shane "Come in" he opens the doors and closes them behind him "What can I do for you?" I am scared shitless of this man, he looks like nothing at all but I know underneath all that nothing he is one scary tough son of a bitch. He's just staring at me waiting "I need to tell you something and it's really important" He nods and wait's. "First I need you to promise me that you will not let this hurt the others in my group." He looks at me like I am a nasty creature "I do not have to promise you anything." I nod "You're right you don't but with what I need to tell you, no one else had any part of it. No one else helped me make this choice. and No one deserves to be punished for this. Which is why you are going to make the choice on what happens with me, but I need you to let them stay here and I need you to help Carl and T-Dog." He is silent "Let me first hear what you need to tell me and let me be the judged of the fate of your group." I shake my head in frustration "I screwed up really badly. I didn't listen to anyone's advice. I didn't think things through. My temper just hit and I started pounding on him. I saw Carl bleeding and it made me want to see him bleed the same way. He kept apologizing and kept telling me that I have to do what I have to do because he deserves it, it made me more mad I was so close to killing him but I didn't. I wish I could say I never meant to do this but I full well knew what I was doing." He realized what I was saying and his face dropped, he then looked at me with disgust on his face, and then he got really angry he reached for me holding me tight against the wall with his arm in my throat "Do It! Please. I deserve this" He is looking in to my eyes and I am looking in to his, slowly I am losing air but I am calm, I have always known I was going to die sooner rather than later. "Please. Help. My. Family."<br>I am angry. Otis is a good man. I push harder in to his throat and his eyes are rolling in to the back of his head now, he is not fighting me. He didn't give it a second thought he just reacted. Just like I am, I am just reacting, this doesn't make me any better. I let go of him, and he falls to the ground gasping for air, after a few minutes he looks up at me "You we're so close to killing me, why did you stop?" I shake my head at Shane "Because then I would be doing the same thing you did, and then I would deserve to die as well. I am not ready to die like you are." Shane breaks out in to tears, he cries like no man I have ever seen cry. He shakes his head and I walk outside of the room closing the door. This will hurt him more than death will. I walk downstairs and I walk outside of the house, I walk over to Otis and I stand in front of him "Are you okay?" He nods "Yes" I nod "Good." I look all around me at Rick's group and my family, standing and waiting to hear the news. I notice that no one has a weapon on them. They decided to follow my rules, Rick walks forward "Hershel. Sir, I just want to apologize to you on behalf of my family for the actions that Shane committed. We had no part in that sir. We told him to let it go, that accidents happen but he is too stubborn and stupid." I nod at Rick "I am aware of all this. Shane spoke to me before he told me the truth of his actions. I am sorry that this happened." I look at the disappointment and fear on their faces, Lori steps forward "Please sir, Please Hershel. Please, don't kick us off of your farm. Carl needs you." She starts crying, I reach for her and I hold her "Don't cry dear. I am not going to kick you off the farm. Especially not now." she looks up at me and her eyes meet mine, she knows I know because I see the surprise in her eyes. She pulls away and nods, I look at Rick "I was so close to killing him. I had my arm blocking his air ways, but if I did that I would be just as bad as he is. I would have deserved the same punishment. He was willing to die, he did not fight me. He is not happy in this world. Maybe it will be different now for him, maybe it won't be but I am not going to kill him. The pain of knowing he is guilty, the pain of knowing he isn't going to be dead, that is the worse punishment I could have given him." Rick looks at me with respect "So is he staying here as well?" I shrug at him "That is a choice I am leaving up to both your group and the rest of my family members. Y'all can discuss it and make the right choice. If he stays here, he better start getting his act together or else one night one of the dead may stumble upon him and eat his insides." I see Daryl and Jimmy laugh "Sorry, that was just really funny." says Jimmy. I nod my head "It's not meant to be funny. It's a promise." I walk away to go check on Carl.  
>I have chills down my back, If Shane stays we need to make sure he steps in line, because if he doesn't then he is going to be walker food. I look over at Rick he looks over at Otis "You should have the final say on what happens to Shane." Otis shakes his head "He doesn't need to die." Rick nods "Alright" Then Daryl cuts in "You should at least make it fair and allow him to get his ass kicked by everyone." Andrea looks over at Otis, "Otis if you deserved this, don't do anything. If you know that it was an accident then you need to stop playing Martyr. You need to beat him up like you got beat up." He looks over at Patricia "I agree Babe, Shane may not die and he may suffer with guilt, but you have cuts and bruises and blood loss. You are hurting more than he ever could" Otis shakes his head "If I allow that to happen I am no better than Shane." Lori shakes her head "That is not true. You would be a far better man." Otis shakes his head "This is my choice, I am not going to make a haste decision. None of you will make any moves towards Shane." We all nod in agreement then Otis walks back in to the house. Lori, Andrea, and me are sitting with Maggie we're talking like a bunch of sisters. Daryl is sitting watching over everyone, Rick, Glenn, Dale, and Carol are all playing blackjack. Patricia is doing some gardening, and Jimmy is sitting on the porch reading a book. Shane still hasn't come out, Otis and daddy are also still inside. I am not worried I am just curious, but I know not to be curious. I see Carol standing up and throwing her cards in, she clearly lost "Jimmy want to replace me?" Jimmy stands up and smiles, taking over the seat Carol was once sitting on. She walks over to Daryl and sits right beside him, she starts talking<br>"Hey why are you not joining in any reindeer games?" he laughs and I sit down right beside him, he shakes his head "Lone wolves play by different rules." She nods "True." We sit there in silence "How did it go today when you and Glenn went out?" He doesn't look up until I stare at him then he looks up at me "Nothing. Glenn told me no tracks, no sign of anything. I thought she would have gone back to the highway, gotten my note" I shake my head "Daryl. I don' know why we're looking still. It's been too long." He wraps his arm around me and kisses my temples "Don't give up hope." I reach for his hand "I promise will find Sophia." I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back.  
>I replay all the words from the earlier conversation in my head. Beth is right, this is not a good time to hurt people because of your feelings, but Lori and Andrea are also right this is not fair to Carol. I am thinking of what I would say to her and it's coming out wrong and jumbled. I shake my head "I gotta take a piss." I stand up abruptly surprising her, I walk over to the house and I look for a sign of anyone at all. I walk over to check on Carl as I am looking I see him, he has some colour on him, he is wearing new clothes, and he is sleeping soundly. Then I walk over to T-Dog, I check on him he is also sleeping soundly, his arm also looks better. I hear the door open, and I see Beth standing there she smiles at me, as I am closing T-Dog's door "Hi" she walks over to me "Hi" I shake my head "I was looking for a washroom. Thought I'd check up on Carl and T-Dog" She nods and smiles "That's sweet." I shake my head "No it's not. It's what you do when people are injured." She smiles "Okay, if you say so. I still think it's sweet." He rolls his eyes "So, could you please direct me to the washroom" I smile and nod "Follow me" I walk through the kitchen and go left right over to a small hallway that houses a laundry room and a back entrance to the back of the house where the Barn and Stables are. "Walk straight then go right." He walks down taking it all in then he stops in front of the bathroom, he looks at me then he disappears through the door. I walk back over to the kitchen, I hear my daddy and Otis talking they come in to the kitchen from the garage "Beth, honey what are you doing?" I smile at daddy he is caring two backpacks "Getting something to drink." he nods "Darling, we're going to go hunting. We need some bonding time and we have a lot to discuss. Shane is upstairs sleeping in the guest room." I nod "Also we should be back in time for dinner, I am excited to see what is in store for tonight." I smile and laugh "It will be super good." Daddy laughs "Also if you, Maggie and Patricia would like to direct the group for a place they can stay, there is that wonderful spot near the sycamore trees." I nod "I am glad to hear that daddy" he nods "Oh I checked on Carl and T-Dog they are doing well both sound asleep, healing." He nods "Patricia will be able to help if anything happens. This has been a long exhausting day, I need to re-charge my batteries." I nod "I agree it will be good for both of you. Also daddy I am really proud of you for today, I am glad you're my father." He smiles and kisses my head, so does Otis "We love you honey." shouts Otis as they walk over to the garage, they get in to daddy's 1972 Nova Green, what a beautiful car. I am standing on the stairs waving goodbye while they leave. The garage closes and I bump in to a hard chest almost falling backwards but I feel arms around me so I don't fall, I inhale the scent of man and dirt, and I look up at him "You saved me again" I smile and he smirks "Yeah" I shake my head "Why?" he shrugs "Just cause" I smirk and laugh "You peak my curiosity, I feel like sitting by your side day after day and just listening to every single thing inside of you." he smirks "I am not that fascinating" I shake my head "Maybe not but you are to me" he sneezes and brings his head down "Bless you" then I realize what he did and I blush allowing him to see it "You copied me" he shakes his head but is holding in a smile "I have no idea what you're talking about, all I did was sneeze" I smile, laugh, and nod "Yes you did" he shrugs but smiles, I smile in return but I don't touch on anymore. We are walking out of the garage, I close the door behind us "Want to take a little walk, I want to show you where daddy thinks you should camp." he nods and I start walking, silently<br>"What is your favourite memory from childhood?" He smiles "I don't have a lot." I nod "But you do have at least one right?." I nod ""Every year on the first day of fall it would rain we have mud fights in the wetlands." He smiles happily "Every Fourth of July, we'd steal fireworks and we'd set them off all at once, in an empty pool in the backyard of an abandoned house." He smirks "Or even lying down at the bottom of the bath tub looking at Merle making funny faces at me, trying to see how long I can hold my breath before I choke. Finally every moment with my grandpa Norman, he opened up my life to music, knowledge, creativity, he just made everything fun." he smiles then he shakes his head "Then it just goes downhill after that. Pops got angrier and meaner, mom got more distant and addicted, Merle got in to more trouble and arrested, and I stayed stuck in all three of their issues with no support or help." I don't know how to respond so I keep it simple "I don't know if this means anything to you, but if you ever want someone to listen I am good at that." he nods at me "I'll keep that in mind." I nod then he nods "What about you what is your favourite memory from childhood?" I smile and laugh "Driving the 72' Nova Green with my dad we'd drive through sunflower patches, there would be sunflowers everywhere then we give them to momma. She loved sunflowers." I get teary eyed thinking about it, I shake away the tears and wipe them "Don't cry" I smile and laugh "I am not." He laughs "Good" We arrive at the spot "I am surprised Carol hasn't come looking for you, you've been gone for a while." He looks at me but stays silent. I shake my head "So anyways, this is the spot" he looks around and nods "This is a good spot" I nod and smile. We walk our separate ways him to his group and me to my room, I am at the side of the house climbing in to Maggie's room from the ladder on the side, then I walk out of her room in to my room, I reach for my journal  
><em><strong>Dear Diary, <strong>_

_**This morning I met Rick's group and I've spent a lot of time with them today. I am starting to care for them, at first I was worried that they'd be leaving and I would never see them again. A lot of things happened and by the sounds of it, they are not going anywhere until Carl gets better. I have caught Daryl looking at me and he has caught me looking at him, I have no idea what that is about but with some things you just got to roll with it. Despite that he and I had a few laughs and conversations there has been no sign that it will progress further or that I even want it too but if I did there is a lot I need to consider; such as Carl is healing when he is healed they are going on their way. Secondly since when do I have a thing for Daryl? Not that it would be a problem (for me) but (for them...maybe) because trust me the appeal is there, I am just asking when did it happen. You know Patricia and dad would not be okay with it, they have all these pre-conceived notions about him. **_

"Keeping track is always a good idea." I am pulled out of my head I see Maggie smiling at me in my door "Yeah, this way I test to see if I lost my mind yet." she nods "I know what you mean, it gets harder every day and sometimes you forget things that in the past you never would have forgotten. We're in a whole different world." I nod at her and I smile at her "You disappeared. You doing okay?" I nod and put my journal down "I am good. Sorry about that." she shakes her head "Did daddy and Otis tell you where they were going?" I nod "To re-charge there batteries. It's been a long day. They said they'll be home in time for dinner. Are you going to help with it?" She smiles and nods "Yeah" I nod "Good" I remember what else they said "They also said to let the group build camp by the sycamore trees, so I showed Daryl where it is" she smiles and nods "Alright, let's go and see if they need help setting up." I nod and she is waiting for me outside, I hide my journal and we make our way downstairs, as were walking out we hear all the cars roar to life they drive down to the sycamore trees and we are making our way down there by foot. When we get there they are standing around us "This is perfect" says Rick. Then I look over at Patricia and Jimmy who are making their way towards us holding snacks and holding a big bowl of fruit, with T-Dog following holding the bag of water, he is looking better. We all sit down in the shade of the sycamore trees and eat some food and enjoy each other's company. "Patricia, I was wondering if you know any people you can spare to help in a search tomorrow morning?" she looks at Rick with confusion "A Search? Well there is Otis and Jimmy." She looks over at Maggie "Maggie?" She nods "Yeah, sounds good to me" then she looks at Patricia "If you would give Beth permission, she'd go as well." Patricia nods and looks at me "Yeah I know sweetheart, but I can't change your daddy's mind on that one." I nod at her and she looks back over to Rick "Why do you need people for a search, if you don't mind me asking." He looks at Carol, and Daryl takes her hand in his "Carol is looking for her twelve year old daughter Sophia, we were planning on going on a search at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning, but knowing you could provide us with three more means we can cover more area." I look over at Jimmy nodding "I am in" Patricia nods "Alright" Then she looks at Rick "Good" she nods " I will be here with Hershel and Lori, we will make sure that Carl is good." He nods "Thank-you" she nods "Your welcome" we go back to eating. 

_Dear God, I know that you're having some trouble right now with the apocalypse and all the sick people walking around killing but this little girl needs her mother, and her mother needs her so could you please help Carol find Sophia. Also Rick and Lori need Carl, and Carl needs them. Please help them. Amen._

After we've eaten Jimmy, Patricia, and T-Dog have gone back to the house. Maggie and I stay put and help them out. Andrea looks at me "So have you ever helped with hunting?" I nod "you mean cleaning right?" she nods at me "Ah yes I have, but it was only one time and after that I became a vegetarian." Andrea looks at me in disbelief "Oh, okay -well good thing we're not doing that tonight" I smile and laugh "Funny" Andrea winks "I thought so." I smile. Lori walks over to us, "Will you ladies, help Carol and I with laundry?" I nod and so does Maggie we find this corner where there are two sycamore trees giving the perfect amount of branch for a laundry line. "Carol, can you tell me a little about Sophia?" she looks at me with confusion, I shrug at her "I ask because I heard that if you actively talk about someone when there not around, it builds up your hope. When we were at the church we'd help out for a few weeks to various causes, we'd be counsellors, listeners, care-givers, anything to help parents and people cope with tragedy." Lori and Maggie nod "What would be so harmful about that?" Carol nods and starts talking about her daughter I hear the ache in her voice, I hear the love and I hear the strength in her voice about how her daughter was so strong when things weren't good. I didn't hear the hope though, I didn't hear her tell me anything that would make me believe that Sophia is alive. I looked at Daryl, he was listening to her as well. When she finished talking about her, she started crying Lori hugged her and so did I but it didn't ease her tears, when Daryl walked over to us he wraps her in his arms and holds her close "Wanna go for a walk?" she nods and they walk off. I felt jealous but soon after I felt bad for her and I was glad that she is able to find comfort in Daryl.  
>When I saw her crying my heart broke because this is really hard for her. "Are you okay?" she is silent now, she nods her head and I sit down on the grass beside a patch of flowers I noticed them earlier in the day and I asked Patricia if she knows the what kinds of flowers they are, she did and she told me. She sits down beside me and just stares in to the void, I pull out a flower, I hand it to her "For You" she looks down at it and smiles softly "Pretty" it's got pure white petal with yellow stamens and bright red bristly hips "It's called a Cherokee rose" 5 she stays silent but smells the flower "The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the trail of tears the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation." she stays silent, so I continue "A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow right where the mothers' tears fell. I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers blooming for my brother. But I believe this one bloomed for your little girl." she smiles and wipes her wet eyes "That is a sweet sentiment Daryl. But I know, I know that Sophia is gone. It's not because I am not hopeful, it's not because I don't wish that she is alive, it's because I am a mother, I had her in my stomach for 9 months, I am her flesh and blood and I feel it in my heart that she is gone." I shake my head in anger "NO! that can't be true. My senses are never wrong." she nods "Maybe you're senses are still right. Maybe we will find her but I doubt she'll be alive when we do. My instincts are not wrong either." I shake my head "Why are you not fighting for her?" she shakes her head "Because I am tired of this. What we're doing it hurts so much. Being hopeful. When Ed died I was relieved but I had no idea, he was dead. I didn't feel it like I feel this. You can't understand." I shake my head "She can't be dead. Children don't deserve to die. They are innocent." she reaches for my hand I didn't even realize I was crying but I am and she is comforting me. After I stopped crying we sat there in silence until she breaks it "Thank-you" I look at her and she looks at me "For what?" she continues "For showing me that there are great and wonderful men in this world still." I shake my head "You knew that already. Rick, Dale, T-Dog, Hershel, Otis...they are all great men" She nods "Yeah they are but still thank-you." I shake my head about to protest but she stops me with her lips, her lips are warm and taste like cherry, a taste that I have forgotten about. I feel her hands move to my hair, and I pull her close in to me but it still feels like something is missing the passion, the hunger, it's not there so I pull away and she smiles at me "I am sorry." she looks confused "For what, I should be apologizing I attacked you." I shake my head "I am glad you did." she smiles and I shake my head "I am glad you did but it didn't feel right. You're a good kisser but there is no passion on my end, there is no hunger. I am so sorry I don't want to hurt you but I needed to be honest." she looks surprised "You had passion at the CDC? How does it go away?" I shake my head I guess I am going to need to come clean now "About that. I wasn't completely honest to you before." she is mad "What do you mean?" I shake my head "When we landed at the CDC Merle and I had planned on leaving with Guillermo and Miguel by the end of the month, it was always the plan. I took notice in you because you're a MILF, I flirted because I knew you'd break, you were married to a completely useless man, who was controlling and abusive, and you look like you hadn't been laid in years. So I decided I'd help you out because I was bored and lonely, and because I'd be giving you something to look forward to and it'd get you through the days easier. Ed saw me cozy up to you, he'd been jealous, and he threatened to hang me by the balls if I didn't back off, I tried to kick the shit out of him but I was so lit that I ended up getting a gun pulled on me and Merle saved me from being killed. So I had a month of trying to get in your pants, then when I left you'd be nothing but a notch on my belt and it would piss off Ed so much because I fucked his wife." I finally look at her and she punches me hard across the chin then she screams out "Son of a bitch" she is shaking her hand in agony "Fuck" she stands up then looks at me "You lied to me. You piece of shit. You could have told me the truth when he died and I said we could be together now." I shake my head "I could have but I didn't" she looks at me again "What made you change your mind? When did you decide to stop coming after me? when did you decide to join our group? Or are you still lying to everyone?" I shake my head "I am a 100 percent in this group. I am a 100 percent loyal to Rick and to everyone else in here. I am not lying to you but I am also not being honest with you." I shake my head in frustration "I joined our group the night before I was supposed to leave, they were trying to steal from you guys and I stopped them by killing all of them but Merle-my loyalty was no longer to Merle it was to Rick. Merle knows that now and if we ever find each other he will kill me for it, he promised me he would. I changed my mind because all my life I have done things for Merle, it's always been Merle and me versus everybody else, I've lived the life he wanted us to live, and I was becoming like him because I killed Miguel and Guillermo in cold blood, I didn't think twice about it I just did it-I have always been the one brother who would never shoot anyone for any reason. When we were rolling with the biker gang they'd do that shit all the time but I never could do it. I needed to stop walking that path I love my brother but I am not going to be him. Ever. I never want to be him." I stay silent and take a breath rubbing my chin "I stopped going for you when I said "You need time, us going at it will not help you. The man you loved at one point, the father of your beautiful daughter just died. You kissed me and told me that I am a great person. I felt like shit, I have been lying to you but it wasn't the right time to tell you this stuff. So we ran in to issues, we got separated, we found each other but then we didn't find Sophia and that was stressful for you, then when we got in to a routine Carl got shot and we landed on Hershel's farm so we didn't make any moves." I take another breath and I continue "I knew you wanted an 'us' and I haven't set you straight on that because I love our friendship, I love you and I can't lose you. I know that everyone knows your mine and I am yours, I never stopped them." I shake my head "And if I haven't been asked a million times why we are not dating I probably would still be too scared to admit this too you. Then I was told by smart woman that what I am doing is not fair, that one day in the future this will be worse, and that I will actually lose you from me lying." she shakes her head "Smart woman? Lori and Andrea right?" I am silent "You are too scared to admit this why?" I respond "Because like I said You are important to me, I love you, I love our friendship, and if I don't have you in my life I don't know how I would cope, you make it easy for me to tell you about everything I keep locked away, you bring me up when I am down, and you know what I need and you get me when no one else can because you and I are cut from the same cloth." she wipes a few fallen tears, I don't get up because she is still standing in front of me with a foot of space between us "I am sorry for it all Carol. I am sorry that when we met I was who I was. I am sorry that I cannot be what you need in any romantic ways. and I am sorry that I lied to you. If you could forgive me and please not push me out of your life, I'd be so grateful to you." I stand up "You should get Hershel to check on your hand, you may have broken it. My father did when he punched me in the jaw." I walk away and go back to our home leaving Carol there in the field of Cherokee roses and with the stinging honesty that I just spewed at her.<br>** Twenty-five minutes later**  
>I am walking back to our camp and my eyes meet her blue eyes she smiles at me and I smile at her. As I am walking towards the spot I was in when I went to the bathroom, I hear "Where's Carol?" when I look beside me and see Lori and Andrea staring at me "I gave her a minute. I told her about all the things I was lying to her about." Then Andrea notices my jaw "And she punched you in the face for it?" I nod "It was deserved trust me" Lori looks at me with confusion "How bad could it have been that you deserved that?" I reach for her hand "Very bad. You don't need to know more about it. I've said it and now it's gone, it has no power anymore." Lori nods and pulls me in for a hug "I am sorry." I nod and pull Andrea in for a hug as well "I love you both very much." we pull away "We love you too Daryl." Andrea lightly slaps the mark from Carol's fist which hurt and I gritted my teeth "I am not going to bring it up anymore but I am going to give you some advice. Don't ever do this again. Woman want you to be honest with them. We want you to tell us the truth always. Do not ever think you are keeping us safe by lying to us, because in the end it will do you no good." I am rolling my eyes but she grabs my face and our eyes meet "Are you listening to me?" she is being a 100 percent serious right now "Yes" she nods and lets go of my face "Good. That is the best thing you will ever learn" I look at Lori "She is 100 percent right" I nod at them both "I heard you both" she smiles and kisses my cheek "Awww Andrea are little Daryl is growing up so fast" I shake my head and ignore them "Okay that is my cue to walk away. Bye" I walk away to go over to Rick, T-Dog, Jimmy, Dale and Glenn they are sitting and looking at the map we used to for Sophia's search I walk over to them and Rick meets my eyes "You okay?" I nod then he nods "We are updating our map" I nod at him and hold out my hand "Can I have the marker" he hands it to me and I take the map from in front of him "I've been to these places" I am putting an x through them Then I show them the map with my little circle in this congested area "These are where I am going to go. when I borrow a horse I can get a bird's eye view of the whole grid, if she's up there, I'll spot her." he nods then so does T-Dog "Good idea. Maybe you'll be able to spot your chupacabra up there, too." Then Jimmy looks at me with confusion "Chupacabra?" Rick laughs "First night in camp at the CDC, Daryl tells us the whole thing reminds him of the time he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra." Then Jimmy laughs "What are you laughing at, jackass?" Jimmy responds "So, you believe in a blood sucking dog?" Then I respond "You believe in dead people walking around?" Then Rick speaks up "Alright enough let's move along" Rick looks at me "You need to ask permission to borrow a horse-don't just take one. We can't afford anymore backlash" those choice of words pain me, I get saddened and I remember the pain I felt my eyes are watering and Rick looks at me with confusion then he looks at the others "Daryl and I are going to check this other spot it's about a mile in a half away from here. Y'all hold down the fort." they nod in agreement and we get up we walk over to get our weapons and I am silent he's going to make me talk about my feelings now, we walk through the woods going towards our course of action "What did I say to make you upset?" I shake my head "Backlash" he looks confused at me "Why does that word upset you?" I stay silent almost scared to talk about this, and he waits for my answer. I shake my head and I stop then Rick notices I stopped he walks back over to me and I start taking off my vest, I unbutton my shirt, and I pull off my t-shirt I turn around and I show him my back, it's exposed to the world, I am getting nervous about that I feel him looking at me "Holy shit, Daryl. What happened?"<br>I am taking in the thick scars crossing his back, I am looking at his tattoo it's fits perfectly within the scars. I go back to looking at the scars on some there is also little dots and smaller lines, he pulls his shirt back on and turns to me with tears in his eyes "My pops was fucked in the head, he felt that Marley died during childbirth because of Merle. He abused Merle bad but then Merle got arrested and he snapped because he thought I was Merle my body is full of scars, I have tattoos covering some but this happened because pops thought I was committing sins every day. One day I was Greedy and Lustful he'd whip me seven times that day or if I was Envious and Wrathful I'd be whipped seven times or if I was gluttonous and slothful I'd be whipped ten times. Creative isn't it?" I shake my head as I put on my layers of clothing again. I look at Rick and he looks upset "I always hated the "parents" who could abuse their children, I've have always wanted to shoot those kind of people in cold blood, them as well as wife beaters, and rapists. They do not deserve anything but execution style deaths, they do not deserve to breathe the same air as the good people." Daryl nods In agreement "I am sorry you went through that Daryl." I nod at him and stay silent, we start walking again.  
>Twenty-five minutes later, Myself, Maggie, Carol, Lori, and Andrea are helping Patricia cook. Carl is stable and he will be continuously monitored for twenty-four hours. While Daryl and Rick are out searching at this mile in a half point. Dale, Glenn, and Jimmy organized themselves for another search when Rick and Daryl come back.<br>I was looking at my family while they we're building our home, hopefully this place will be our home for a good long time, I am tired of being out there, I am tired of having to fight, and I am definitely tired of eating the road kill Daryl finds, I miss real food, I miss veggies, and I miss fruit. It's truly a blessing we ended up on this farm because it's allowing us to re-charge our batteries. It's sad how we ended up on this farm because I love Carl and I wish to god it didn't need to be him who got shot but like his mother and father he is a fighter, just like Shane his god father is a fighter but since this afternoon there has been no site of the fighter, he has just become a distant memory which is weird. So I am going to go and look for him, even though everything worked out with Hershel but I am still mad at him. Dale told me that as his girlfriend I should be there for him and let him know that I love him. Honestly I don't know if I love him or if he is just a really good lay. I standing at the bottom of the stairs looking up them, I am waiting for what I am not sure, so I take a deep breath and I climb the steps, Beth told me what door, so I stood in front of it waiting for five minutes, hoping I'd hear some kind of sounds coming from it but I don't it sounds like it's just another empty room. I place my hand on the knob and I turn it. I open the door and I see Shane lying on the bed his eyes are closed and he is lying on his back I look at his body up and down it's long and muscular, he looks like he has no softness to him just pure hard muscle. I close the door gently and I walk over to the bed I climb it and I see the redness under his eyes as if he was crying which would surprise me because he doesn't get overly emotional I crawl in further to his side and I place my hand on top of his chest, while he reaches for my other hand on the bed. He opens his eyes and looks down at me "I am sorry for earlier" he shakes his head "Don't gotta apologize. I should be asking for forgiveness to all of you." he turns to me and wraps me in his arms he kisses my lips and he closes his eyes again falling back in to a slumber, I stare at him for a while until the quietness and the warmth puts me to sleep.  
>Forty-five minutes later where all sitting at the table well except Andrea and Shane but that's alright, we haven't had a full house like this since Christmas almost two years ago there different people but all the stereotypes are still the same, so are the conversations. I wish we could all stick together after Carl fully heals and not because I want to see what could root between Daryl and I but because these people have found a special place in my heart and I never realised how alone I felt until they came in to our life. "Jimmy would you like to say the prayer for the night?" he nods and stands up, he closes his eyes and we all link hands.<p>

_Our Father in Heaven We give thanks for the pleasure, of gathering together for this occasion. We give thanks for this food, Prepared by loving hands. We give thanks for life, the freedom to enjoy it all and all other blessings. As we partake of this food. We pray for health and strength to carry on and try to live as you would have us. This we ask in the name of Christ Our Heavenly Father  
>Amen<em>_6_

"Amen. Let's eat" we all dig in to our meal, we are talking and we are bonding I am the happiest I've been since this apocalypse started." Forty-five minutes later I am finishing up with the dishes, Patricia walks up to me "Beth, darling will you please give Dale or Glenn these baskets of Fruit and Veggies they are going to be going back to the camp in a bit." I nod, "Sure thing I will be right back." I am stacking both baskets they weigh about twenty pounds, I am struggling to keep them in my arms I am almost running to Dale, it is about to tumble but Dale catches it first "Thank-you" he nods at me "Your Welcome." I nod at him and hand him the other one "Patricia told me to give this too you, its twenty pounds of Veggies and Fruit for your to take back to your camp." He takes them from me "Thank you Beth" he looks at Glenn "Your ready to go?" Glenn nods and picks up the baskets from there trek in to town. T-Dog walks in to view T-Dog looks at Otis "Thank you for tonight, the dinner was wonderful. Also could you please tell Patricia I appreciate her help with my injury." Otis nods. Carol, and T-Dog walk out of the house towards the camp. I look at Daryl. he is watching Lori and Rick with worry on his face. I look at Lori and Rick. they look exhausted mentally, and physically. He looks up at me and we just stare at each other. Our looks were broken by Maggie's words we both look at her instead "Rick. Lori you two should get back to your camp and set it up, so that Carl will have somewhere to go too besides you both look exhausted." They look at each other they are speaking to each other in their heads Daryl interjects we all look at him "I'll sit outside on the porch or in a tree wherever Hershel will allow me to stay. I will come and get your if anything changes. We need you rested for tomorrow's search party." Rick looks at Daryl, and Daryl stays silent "We also need you rested for the search party" he shakes his head "You know I can go days without sleep and still be on the top of my game. besides If I do fall asleep I can fall asleep anywhere." He looks at Lori "I will be close and I will hear noise in a matter of seconds. You both on the other hand need sleep." I find that fascinating listening to what he said I nod "He's right you guys got to find Sophia she is as much a priority as Carl is. Carl is stable. and he is going to be out for a while might as well shift focus. Carol looks so sad besides your gonna be no good tomorrow if your get injured or worse."They look at me and that seals the deal because Rick and Lori stand up "Alright your right." He puts his hands on Daryl's shoulder and nods, Daryl comments on this act "Don't worry I won't let you down." Rick nods and Lori responds "we know you won't. Come here and give me a hug" he rolls his eyes but he gives her a hug, then Lori gives Maggie a hug and gives me a hug "See you in the morning" they walk out of the house and it leaves Maggie, Daryl, and myself in the living room "So where can I camp out for the night?" she looks at him "Do you need anything?" he shakes his head "I have my crossbow I am good." She nods and looks at me "where do you think is a good place?" I remember the bench we have in the stables "There is that bench in the stables if your bring it up to the porch your can place it right underneath this window." I pointed to it "it is in direct view of the room Carl is in." he nods "Alright I am going to go and get it" we hear Patricia calling out "Maggie Darlin'" Maggie responds "Yeah Patricia?" she listens intently "Could you come in the kitchen and help me reach something because your taller than I am and the boys are all busy" she smiles "Sure be right there" she looks at me  
>"Beth, could you show Daryl where it is in the stables I am sure it's got a lot of stuff surrounding it we wouldn't want him to injure himself or the horses" Maggie smiles and I laugh, I look at Daryl and he is laughing also he shakes his head "I am sure I can handle it, won't your daddy mind?" Maggie shakes her head "Nah, I'll vouch for you if he asks or notices." I nod "if you insist" she nods "I do insist. It is my fault that the stables are such a mess, when we losing horses I just started throwing everything in there. I haven't cleaned it for years." He nods and I nod "Alright follow me then" we walk towards the door and Maggie disappears in to the kitchen we walk towards the back of the house we make our way east and are in direct view of a ravine I cross the bridge with him in toe.<br>"Where are you from?" I ask and he responds "Shawnee, Oklahoma" I nod "it's nice down there. I've been there a few times." he nods "Yeah it's alright-I was just glad I got to leave it" I look at him "When did you leave it?" he stays quiet then responds "September 20th 1996" I nod "How old were you when you left?" he replies "15" I am surprised "You left at 15. did you leave with your parents or on your own" he shakes his head "neither. With my brother." we stay silent, then I break it "I want to hear about you? You must have a lot of great stories, will you tell me?" he looks uncomfortable, and he stays silent for a long while.  
>"You were being serious when you said you could sit by my side and listen to everything inside of me?" She nods at me "Yes. I don't lie" I like that she could say that with so much confidence, and she didn't even need to think about it. she stares at me "So will you tell me?" I nod at her "What do you want to know?" she waits a while probably thinking "Why did you leave at 15 with your brother? Where we're your parents?" I shrug "I left at 15 with my brother, because he wanted to-Merle has never been the build a home and stay in one spot kind of man, he hated Shawnee, he wanted to get out in to the world and roll with his friends. He wasn't going to leave me by myself so I had no choice but to go with him." I nod "Merle's mom died during childbirth, my mom died from an over-does, and our pops died during a liquor store robbery." I stay silent "Earlier you said you we're stuck in everyone's problems! Was it ever good? I shake my head "Yes it was but those good moments did not last too long, Merle and pops are complicated as is the history and issues between them. When everything was good on pops end, it would be good on everyone's end but I wasn't part of that, that was before me. So the only good I experienced was mostly with grandpa Norman and those other good memories I had with Merle."<br>I am staring at him and I shake my head "I wish you could have experienced more joy in your life." Then I stay silent momentarily "I am sorry that I am asking so many question, I am just really curious about you." He shakes his head "I noticed that, but maybe you can start small and work yourself up to the bigger more emotional questions." I nod "Alright" I think of small questions "What is the first job you ever had?" He nods "I worked at 7-Eleven while Merle was in prison" I make a mental note to learn more about that "What about you, did you ever work?" I smile "Only for my parents and for my church-so I guess it's considered volunteering. Did you get paid at 7-Eleven?" He nods "Yeah, under the table and only when there was money available for me because it wasn't a slow month" I nod at him "What is your favorite food?" He shakes his head "Not sure-I never really thought about a food that tasted so good because I stuck to the same things most of the time." He nods "And you?" I smile "I love food-all kinds of food, I can't pick just one I have way too many." He nods and we continue walking towards the barn, I look up at the sky and I stop, he is still walking "Beth?" he turns around and I meet his blue eyes "You okay?" I nod and smile then I walk over to him reaching his arm "Look up" he looks up and I see the beautiful colours in the sky Orange, Yellow, and Peach are lining the skies, it is amazing to look at. I can feel him staring at me, watching me so I smile "The sky is so beautiful, why are you staring at me?"  
>At that moment I felt like saying something completely cheesy about her beauty and how there is no comparison ...that's odd. I look up at the sky and it makes sense, which is why this would stop Beth in her tracks, it is designed for an artistic eye which is what Beth has-it is mixed just right and it is splattered all over like an full amount of canvas. but it still does not compare to Beth. We continue to stand there me looking at her and her looking at the sky, I tug at her hand "We got to get going" she pouts "But Daryl I want to keep watching it, until it disappears" I chuckle and shake my head "We both know that's not a good idea" she nods and allows me to pull her along with me. We walk in silence when we reach the stables I see that they have horses, four of them maybe that'd be useful for me I can finally go and check out that ridge, she stops and is looking at me "I have a question, is there any chance you'll allow me to borrow one of these horses I am not sure when but it will be before we do our big search for Sophia." she nods "Sure, but I need to tell you there names." I nod and I watch her she Is pointing to them but then I think I hear a sound and I am focusing on that "That is Velvet, Squared, Whitener, and Nelly" I am looking at around and I listen for it again realizing it's from the horses tail hitting the wall, she shakes me "Are you listening?" I nod "Velvet, Squared, Whitener, and Nelly" which is which I have no clue "Nelly is named Nelly because she gets nervous real easy" I nod "I'll keep that in mind" we walk further in to the stables where there is an area meant for the training of horses it's only about 12 feet wide but inside of that compact space is a lot of items "Someone is a hoarder" she laughs "Yeah, her name is Maggie" it's boxes of items, it's bags of clothing and sheets, it's discarded furniture like some chairs, a couch, and an old TV, there is also a bench buried under other junk "Why does she have all this still?" she shakes her head "It use to be her mom's items, when she died they were given to Maggie and she had it in storage but we needed to make the storage room in to a guest bedroom, she was going to do something with it but it just never worked out." she is standing there surrounding by all of this stuff, I see her eyes and head moving back and forth I reach for her arm "You're itching to clean this aren't you" she blushes then she nods "You have no idea" he nods "Has Maggie been in here, does she want any of this?" she shrugs "Not sure" I walk over to the couch I lift up one end of the couch "Are you able to lift the other end" I smile and give him a fake laugh "Awww I am splitting sides with your humour. You should retire the crossbow and use your humour as a weapon, that'd be just as lethal towards the sick." I start laughing holy shit that was funny, I am laughing so hard that I drop the sofa and fall on top of the couch, she has moved to go to the door of the stables, when I fall my laughing eases then I just lie there on the comfort of a couch it's been too long since I've been on one these, I could easily fall asleep on here right now. "I haven't sat on a couch since I was sixteen years old"<br>I walk over to the gate of the stables I made sure to double check that I locked it I heard him laughing but then it stopped and I heard him say those words they surprised me, when I got close to him I saw him lying across it, I look at his long body, it looks good in those pants that are torn at the bottom, his boots are dirty but so is the couch I look at his torso his breathing has calmed and his body is relaxed his crossbow is on the table behind the couch I speak out "Typical men, always able to fall asleep on a couch in front of the TV, while ESPN is on"  
>I keep my eyes closed "Never been able to do that" then I say no more "Move over, let me in" I shift so that I am half on the sofa but my leg is somewhat bent in front of me while my right leg is on the floor she is sitting beside my other leg we both sit there in silence until I fall in to a deep sleep.<p>

**12 Hours Later **

I hear a rooster crowing and living in the country all my life I know it means it's daylight, oh sugar it's day light, I slept in the stables all night next to Daryl with the stables door locked for our protection. What if they are looking for us, what if Daddy is looking for me, he is going to kill Daryl. I reach for Daryl I shake him awake "Daryl get up" he opens his eyes and yawns, he stretches then he rubs his sleepy eyes "Good morning" I smile "Good morning" I am looking at him and I see the realization on his face "We slept in here all night. If they came in here and saw us-your daddy will have my head on a stick." I shake my head "No because the door is locked to protect us, because we were going to go right back outside. It's been locked all night." he loses the colour in his face "They are probably looking for you. Oh fuck I was supposed to watch Carl during the night. I promised Rick and Lori I'd be there for him." He stands up reaches for his crossbow and walks to the door "We need to go right now" I nod and stand up "Beth, come on, can you unlock this damn lock." I look at him with surprise "really?" I stand there crossing my arms, not moving "Being rude is not going to make me move faster" He shakes his head and kicks the couch further in to the mess then he puts his crossbow on his back and walks over to me "I am sorry for being a dick, but I fucked up and I broke my promise to Rick and Lori, and I worry that your daddy is going to kill me." I pout, shaking my head, I walk over to the door I unlock it he is in front of me he reaches for my hand "truthfully though that was the best night I've ever had with a girl and I am glad it was with you." I smile and blush he is about to walk outside but I stop him and I bring him closer to me I kiss his cheek, he blushes and he walks out of the stables, and I am just looking at him walking away 'that was the best night you've ever had' I say out loud and we didn't do anything but sleep. I smile and nod that makes me so happy and I have no idea why but I don't care. This moment truly is the best moment in my entire existence. I walk out of the stables locking the door behind me again, I am walking towards the back door of the house I open it and I listen for any sounds at all, I creep closer and I hear Patricia and Otis "Beth never came back in the house last night" I hear Patricia "She probably slept in the stables, like she use to when she was little." says Otis then I hear silence "She was in the stables with Daryl, Maggie sent her to go there with him because her mother's mess is still in there." then I creep to the door frame I look at Otis looking at Patricia "Are you worried honey?" he asks her and she shrugs "I know Beth is smart, I know she knows what is right and wrong, I know that Daryl will not hurt her because he has a lot to lose if he did I am sure he knows this as well and from the amount of time I've been around him I know he is good. I just hurt for Jimmy, our boy is not going to win like he envisions. And poor Beth, Hershel is going to have trouble accepting this." Otis nods and holds out his arms to her, she puts down the dish towel and walks over to him, she stands between his legs and he wraps his arms around her she puts her hands around his head and holds tight. I am confused what is daddy not going to accept he looks up at her "I love you so much" she smiles and leans down kissing him "I love you too sweetheart" he shakes his head "We are going to need to be strong for Jimmy, we are going to need to make sure that he is okay. When Beth finally breaks up with him, we will be there to help him through it." They know I am going to break up with Jimmy, I didn't even know that, then he continues "Our boy is a wonderful kid, and I hate to see him hurt but it's all of our fault that he is going to get hurt, we should have never forced the two of them in to this. They'll be okay I believe in them. She nods and responds "In the future when this is all over and everything is right in the world our boy will find the happiness he deserves and so will Beth, they will both have the chance to live a real life." he nods in agreement "So what do we tell Hershel, I am sure he's noticed by now that Beth isn't here." Otis shakes his head "We don't know anything we just know where she was and who she was with-we could tell the truth but that may backfire on Daryl." I shake my head "Then we got to tell the truth. I fell asleep in the stables and so did Daryl he was on the couch and so was I but all we did was sleep, we weren't touching and we slept the full twelve hours." They turn around and look at me "Honey" I nod "The truth always comes out. I am smart, I have a plan, and I have my priorities straight I will not have sex until I know I am ready and I believe deep in my core that the guy is special enough to have such a privilege. I am still sort of dating Jimmy I would never do anything to hurt him or shame him, I also do not condone cheating. We went to the stables to look for that bench so that Daryl could sleep under Carl's window, we got there we talked and we laughed at how messy Maggie is compared to me, he lifted up the couch and asked if I could lift it, I sat down on it and cracked a joke, he started laughing and he fell on the couch, when he was sitting there it looked like he was going to fall asleep, he looked calm, and like he was in heaven, he looked like he was running on fumes. So I didn't bother him and we both just fell asleep, fully clothed, and not touching each other. See all innocent, we did nothing wrong, neither of us are going to hell, and I think daddy should here the truth I have nothing to hide." Otis nods and So does Patricia "We're sorry" I nod "I am going to go and get ready" I walk over to them and I kiss them both on their foreheads then I walk up the stairs I hate being sixteen, I hate that daddy is so strict when it comes to me, and I hate that he is controlling every detail of my life. I walk to my room but I stop and I walk over to his office I stand facing his closed door and I debate the pros and cons of what I think I am about to do.  
>Meanwhile I am talking to Lori I also get a hug from Lori "I am just so happy" I smile at her we pull away she walks over to help Carol.<br>Then after five minutes Rick comes over to me and looks me directly in the eye "Take care of her and be smart. Yer hear me?" First Lori, now Rick what is happening? Am I missing something? I need to talk to Andrea and find out what is going on but Rick is waiting for me to respond, so I nod at him "Yeah I promise."  
>Why are they not mad that I ditched Carl last night? Then Andrea walks over to me "Hi" she looks at me "Hi" she smiles "What's going on?" I smile "So what am I missing?" she looks at me with confusion "what do you mean?" I shake my head "Lori and Rick telling me not to screw it up with Beth. What am I screwing up? Beth has no interest in me?" She looks surprised "Are you being serious right now?" I nod at her "Yeah. Why? Beth is sixteen; she would have no interest in an old fart like myself." she smiles and laughs "You have no idea! Oh my god Beth is in to you." I shake my head at her "No, she isn't" she nods at me "Yes she is; she also thinks you would have no interest in her because she is sixteen. She thinks that Carol is woman enough for you." I am surprised by her words, I shake my head "We may never see each other again." she nods "True but it doesn't matter; will still be here for a month or so-depending on Carl's well being and depending on the stuff that gets thrown at us." i shake my head "We're in a zombie apocalypse, relationships should be the last thing on my mind." she nods and smiles "They should be but whatever happens is going to happen. Are you finding excuses because you don't like her like that or because you're scared." I shake my head and she smiles and nods "Alright, you don't need to admit it-I am sure Beth is scared also, you are a completely different experience and person. Jimmy is all innocence, like a grade 7 and 8 true love relationship that is meant to last for only two days but more than likely there will still be a strong friendship between them. You are a grown up relationship you are going to help her learn and teach her not only about herself, but about yourself, and you guys are going to have come together to agree on things and learn to be a couple so that it could work. You may not have a lot of time together but that is a risk I'd be willing to take because you could have something beautiful right in front of you that would cement your relationship, that would bring a whole twist of fate, and maybe it would lead you both on a different path or on the same paths. Either way I say that this is something that was unexpected, it is something that we never in a million years would have thought to happen but it did and it landed us here. That says a lot to me, how about you?" She has a point, I stay silent and she squeezes my hand "You take time to think this over, but if you are going to hurt her because this isn't serious to you then just tell her like you did for Carol but if you want this, and you are serious then you owe it to yourself to experience it and start doing stuff for yourself and no one else." She walks over to Lori and Carol leaving me there to think that this is insane.<p>

1 passage/?search=Joshua%201:9

2 passage/?search=Isaiah+40:29-31

3 passage/?search=Nahum+1:7

4 title/tt1389137/quotes

5 wiki/Rosa_laevigata

6 .


	2. Chapter 2: Dawn To Dusk

**Chapter Two**

**Part Two: Dawn to Dusk**

_Isaiah 40:31_

_New International Version (NIV)_

_31 __but those who hope in the __Lord__  
>will renew their strength.<br>They will soar on wings like eagles.  
>they will run and not grow weary,<br>they will walk and not be faint.__1_

I am looking at Beth facing daddy's door, I pretend to sneeze and she turns around "Bless you" I hear my daddy shout out "Thank-you" then I motion for her to come in here, she does and I close the door behind her "Alright you and I are going to have a talk and I need you to be a 100 percent honest to me, do not be afraid to speak the truth I will not judge, or tell on you, and I will support you no matter what." she sits down on my bed and sits crossed legged facing me silent she has picked up a new trait I know someone else who does that "You look rested, did you have a good sleep?" she nods "Yes, I slept for twelve hours straight I was able to forget for a while what it's really like" I know Beth, she does not cause chaos out of boredom or cause anyone to be stressed for no reason at all, she is logical and she does uncomplicated. I know she wasn't having sex for those reasons and because she values her virginity. I nod at her "Do you love Jimmy?" she nods at me "I love Jimmy but I will never be _in love_ with Jimmy" that is a direct answer she did not need to think about it "Why you haven't broken up with him yet?" she looks out the window "Jimmy is my best friend, I need him in my life, I am afraid that if I break up with him one of two things will happen he will hate me and I will lose the one person in this world who gets me on a different level then the adults do. Secondly, he isn't doing so well in this life, he isn't cut out for it I am scared that he will go to an extreme because of the pain that breaking up will cause him. I know he believes I will fall in love with him, I know that he wishes that everything would be perfect and we'd live happily ever after, raising the two point five kids in a white picket yard house, having our dream careers, and being happy and in love." she shakes her head "I-basically I am scared. There is a lot at risk, and I don't need to cause everyone pain. This makes him happy, let him stay happy maybe it will mold him to fit in to this life" she is totally self-less, she is giving up her own happiness, so that everyone stays happy. "Do you have feelings for Daryl?" she stares at me, unblinking, and barely breathing she rubs her face and then he looks back at me again "Maybe" she bites her lip "I am aware that I think he is attractive. I am genuinely fascinated by him, I want to pick apart his brain inch by inch, I could spend hours with him, even if he isn't talking for some of those hours, he has stories, he has experience, he is raw in every kind of way, he has truly lived, he is like an adventure novel-you just can't stop reading and you want the book to be endless so you never have to stop reading such fascinating tales." she truly is an artist "I know there is an age difference but when were around each other we blend and you don't notice the difference in age. obviously we have our specific roles due to our ages and experiences but we mesh well. he isn't all that he portrays, he cares and loves, he is a good person who has a coloured life, but I believe he has limits and knows right and wrong. He is loyal to no end, he is protective, and he will always bend over backwards for the people he loves." she goes silent again, wow I did not expect an answer like that "I am not expecting anything to happen because they might not be here long and he has this weird non relationship with Carol, he needs to deal with it or he needs to go for it, I am with Jimmy and too afraid to do something about that. I never believed I would have a shot because I am sixteen but then someone told me that I have a shot like anybody else, that I owe it to myself to figure out what I feel for him, and finally that Daryl needs the kind of girl who will accept him but push him to believe in more and become more." we are staring at each other, both silent "Are you actively figuring out your feelings for Daryl?" she nods at me but is silent, I nod "What happened last night, full details." she nods " We went to the stables to look for that bench so that Daryl could sleep under Carl's window, we got there we talked and we laughed at how messy you are compared to me. No offense but you know it's true! Can I organize and clean it for you?" She nods "Go ahead, I trust you will do better at it then me" I motion yes with my arm then I nod and go back to my story "So he lifted up the couch and asked if I could lift it, I cracked a joke and sat down on it, he started laughing and he fell on the couch, when he was sitting there it looked like he was going to fall asleep, he looked calm, and like he was in heaven, he looked like he was running on fumes. So I didn't bother him and we both just fell asleep, fully clothed, and not touching each other. See all innocent, we did nothing wrong, neither of us are going to hell, and I have nothing to hide." I nod at her, satisfied "What were you doing in front of daddy's door?" she responds "I was going to tell him what happened last night before he came to me. I was going to tell him that I hate what he's doing to me and that I am not going to stay complacent forever" I nod at her "Do you really believe that would work? Or would it be more successful coming from me?" she opens her mouth to speak but closes it, she rushes forward to me and in to my arms, she squeezes tight and I hold her tight "I love you Maggie." I smile "I love you Beth. I want you to be able to talk to me." she nods "I will start doing that." I nod "Alright, I'll be right back, I have to go and talk to daddy" she nods I walk out of my room, I close the door and I am standing in front of his I knock on the door of the office, "Come in" I open the door and I see my father sitting at his desk he is writing and he looks up at me "Maggie are you all ready to go on the search for Sophia?" I nod at him "I am but first Lori, Andrea, and Carol offered to make us breakfast so were going to have a meal first then were going to make our way out." He smiles and nods "That is very kind of them." She nods "Yes it is, they are very thankful for your help with Carl-he is getting better he slept through the night." He nods and smiles "Good, I'll be right down I just need to finish up something." I nod at him "I came to talk to you because I need a minute of your time." He puts his pen down and he gives me his full attention and I am trying to figure out how to word this so that he will agree that it is a good idea "I need you to consider something and listen to the words I am going to say to you. We are in a zombie apocalypse the only way for you to survive is by surviving, you're keeping Beth down, you're making her feel inadequate and weak, she has been learning to keep house, do the cooking, and the providing for our family for the last ten years even in the last two years she sat there miserable putting on a face that isn't showing you honesty." I look at his face and he looks angry at me I continue "The last year in a half, you allowed myself and yourself to be taught by Otis, Even you who thinks they can be saved, is learning how to fight and protect yourself and our home because deep down you know you can't guarantee our safety no matter how hard you try to. You allow me to go and make runs by myself and you allow me to get in to the action because I am too old for you to have a say in what I do but also because you did raise me right and you know I will be smart" He opens his mouth to interrupt me "Wait a second I am not saying that you need to give Beth a weapon and let her go out there without any knowledge or let her go out by herself every minute of the day but what I am saying is that there is a small chance that one day maybe not tomorrow or maybe not today or maybe not three weeks from now. Beth will need to protect herself but will not have any clue on how to do that because we are sheltering her and stopping her from learning the basics of what are world has turned in to. I understand that your scared, she is your little girl, you couldn't be the father I needed and you feel guilty about that-but I got over it, I forgive you, and I need you to move past the past. We are living in now, there is a big threat out there to all of our safety, no one is safe but we have god on our side, we have each other, we have our smarts and we have great role models. Beth is your daughter, you raised her right just like you raised me right. She may be sixteen years old, but she is innocent and pure. She is also smart, she is careful, and she is not the type to take risks that will hurt her or anyone else, she wants to live, she is also not the type to cause necessary stress or damage. This control you have over her life and this short leash is not going to benefit her because all it means is that she will be an easier target for predators and for the sick, it means she will grow to resent you, and it means that she will be useless against people and things that are bigger, stronger, and dangerous." He looks like I am right on that fact so I continue "Beth is strong willed like you are, she hates being useless, she hates not being able to control her own destiny. One days she will not be easy to manage, she will lash at you, she may not risk her safety but Beth is good with words they will sting more than any actions could. She is your daughter and you would take risks with our grandparents whenever they said no. you'd push and push and see how far it takes you. Beth will do the same but she won't be reckless about it, she needs to contribute, she is mature enough, she is smart enough to not go off in to a dangerous situation, and you raised her right, she will not become twisted by that lifestyle or by encountering the kind of people she will eventually meet. She knows how to listen and follow direction and she will have everyone with her who is far more skilled at handling the sick and she will be protected because she will be around really good people. We cannot always be around, we cannot keep believing that we have the control over what happens next." He looks at me in silence his face does not give away anything anymore he sits there and stares at me "Thank-you. Now you can tell Beth I need to speak to her." I bite my lip and I nod in agreement "Alright" I walk out of his office, I walk in to my room she's not in there, so I knock on her door she opens it, by this time she has gotten ready for the day, she sees my face "He needs to talk to you" I nod and she kisses my cheek "Thank-you for trying" I nod and walk back over to my room. I hear her knock on the door "Daddy" he replies "come in" she disappears through the door closing it behind her.  
>He is staring at me "Have a seat" I sit down and I stay silent, waiting for him to talk first "What happened to you last night?" I nod " Daryl and I went to the stables to look for a bench, so that he could sleep under Carl's window. As we were going there the sun was starting to set, we got inside and we talked and made comments on how Maggie and I are so different when it comes to cleaning and organizing." My daddy nods in agreement, so I continue "He saw the couch and he lifted it, he asked me if I could lift it. It was a joke because he knows I am not strong enough to lift it, so he puts it down and I sat on the couch I cracked a joke which made him laugh, he was laughing sort of hard and sat down on the sofa, but then he became relaxed, he had his eyes closed, and his breathing had calmed. I knew he was probably able to fall asleep, so I made the decision to let him fall asleep because he needed too, he was running on fumes, Carl was good, Lori and Rick where finally sleeping, and we hadn't had any attacks in a few weeks, I knew we'd be protected because I always lock the stable door behind me. I sat at one end and so did he, and we both just fell asleep. Fully clothed, and not touching each other for 12 hours. It was all innocent, we did nothing wrong, and neither of us sinned, besides I am with Jimmy I would never do those things, I am not ready for that. I have nothing to hide." He is looking at me silently "Tell me what you want" I nod "I want you to let me do things, I want you to let me learn, I want to be strong, I want you to not send Rick's group away, I love having them here it feels like a full house, I miss that. They are all good people, obviously Shane is a blurred line but he is one out of the ten, I trust these people, I like these people. I also want you to not control every single minute of my life. I know your rules, I know I have responsibilities, those things are not going to change but sometimes you need to remember I am a normal sixteen year old girl who is mature. If I want to stay out late then don't panic, if I want to not sleep in my bed know that I will make sure I am safe, give me more credit then you are giving me. I want you to believe me when I tell you I am capable of doing more, I am capable of listening, I am capable of learning, and I want you to know that I will come to you, Patricia, Otis, and Maggie for anything and everything if I need to. I also want you to stop putting these ideas in Jimmy's head, he is going to keep building up this hope and it's going to keep making him weak. I love Jimmy but I am not <em>in love <em>with him and I never will be, I need to break up with him but I need to do it when I am sure nothing will change between us, I need him in my life. I love our family, I love that you go to lengths to protect me and us, I will not disappoint you if I haven't done it to you yet then there is nothing to worry about you raised me right, I have too much respect for myself and you guys, I have too much to live for. " he replies "That is the most honest answer I have heard from you in the last two years." I nod "I've been complacent, I've gritted my teeth and given you false happiness, I am miserable, I feel left out, I am lonely, and I feel terrible about how weak I am, I am also starting to resent you." He looks surprised "Wow, even after all that you still follow my rules and my direction. Why?" I nod "Because you are my father, this is your house, I know your keeping me safe because you love me, and because I respect you. You're intentions are not malicious, they come from loving me too much, they also come from the fear of failing me like you failed Maggie. You were not you, the bottle effected you, she forgive you, so did her momma, you need to forgive you. Maggie came out of it stronger than ever." I hit emotions on that, sadness and failure "What is going on with Daryl and you?" I shake my head "Nothing specifically. I'd say we are aware of each other, we are learning about each other, I am "dating" Jimmy I will not do anything and he is figuring out stuff with Carol, as of right now we are friends. He is not all that he appears to be I know that he looks rough around the edges but he isn't like that, he uses his look as a defense mechanism to protect himself." he nods "You're friendship with him, will it make you weaker or make you stronger?" I think about how to answer that "He offered to show me how to protect myself, he offered to teach me how to track, and he is invested in keeping me safe. Being around him makes me happy, it makes him happy too, because we are friends, he will make me stronger." he nods "Thank-you, I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast, the ladies are going to be hosting breakfast, are you going to help?" I nod "Yes of course" he nods "Alright" I nod "Thank-you for listening and for finally asking me what I want." I walk out of his office and make my way downstairs. It's odd, that I feel at ease-like this pressure and weight has been lifted off my shoulders and chest, I have no idea what daddy is going to do, he's very good at that keeping in everything while you wait to see if he is going to ground you or allow you to benefit from it, he definitely is one of those men who are meant to be fathers because he knows all the tricks and trades of parenting. I am standing in front of Carl's room, I see Rick and Daryl sitting there talking to Carl, I knock on the door frame, Rick looks up at me and smiles "Come in" I meet the boys eyes they are blue like Rick's he smiles at me and I wave to him "Son, this is Beth. Hershel's daughter, Beth this is Carl." I walk over to him, feeling Daryl's eyes on me "Your pretty" I smile and blush "Thank-you, your handsome." he looks over at Daryl and his dad "She looks like an angel" Rick nods and smiles "She does, it's true" then he looks at Daryl "Her beauty could be compared to an angels, you're right." I blushed and I looked at my feet, then I walked over to Carl I gave him a kiss on the forehead. I smile at him "You are awesome" and he smiles at me "I am a true hunter now, I have the bullet wound to prove it." I nod "Yeah you are but" I look at Daryl, I nod and he continues "listen here little man, you only need one bullet wound." then he looks at Rick "We don't want to ever see you go down like that again. you hear me?" he looks at his daddy "I promise" Rick holds out his pinky to him and Carl takes it "Good, because real hunters know this is a onetime thing." Rick continues and Daryl nods "When you get older, you will understand that the people in your life worry for you a lot, if you get shot, or get really hurt, you are causing the people you love to be scared and worried. As a man we make sure not to worry or scare the people we love." Rick nods and so does Carl "Okay, I will promise to be safe" I am impressed that Carl didn't skip a beat on what Daryl said, I am also impressed by what Daryl said. He nods "Good" Carl smiles "I am hungry, when are we going to eat" we all chuckle, Daryl and Rick look at me for an answer, then Carl looks at me again "Ahhh, we are going to eat soon. I could bring you a little snack, what would you like?" he puts his finger to his lips and thinks "If you have it. Chocolate pudding" I smile and nod "You know I may just have that, I will be right back. don't move" he laughs "you know I can't" I hit the side of my head and he laughs "Oh that's right, how silly of me to forget" I walk out of the room on a search for chocolate pudding.  
>"Daryl!" I was looking at Beth walking away, she is really good with kids "Daryl" I hear Carl again and I look at him "Yeah buddy" he smiles and laughs "You have a crush on Beth" I blush "you're twelve what do you know about that?" he laughs and smiles "I know a lot, I've had girlfriends" I look at Rick and he is laughing "Yes and they were very pretty" says Rick, I laugh and look back at Carl "Yeah but Beth is prettier. No worries Daryl, you can have her, I won't be mad." I love this kid, he will say anything and everything but not like Merle did, so I don't got to worry about him turning in to my brother. Rick smiles and laughs "Your giving him permission to have Beth. You're a good man son" Carl looks so proud of himself and smiles confidently "So when are you going to make your move" I am chuckling he is totally awesome "I have to take care of a few lose ends first" Carl nods like this is a serious conversation "Alright. Don't take too long, I heard Glenn and T-Dog think she's cute also" Rick breaks out in to laughter and I smile "Alright I will make sure to be quick about it" He nods "Good. Because she is perfect for you" says Rick and Carl nods "I agree" I look over at Rick and he looks at me, I smile with content "This is what happiness is." Rick nods at me and smiles "Yes it is"<br>"Carl!" I hear Beth and we all look to the door, she is hiding but her hand is holding a four pack of chocolate pudding, then her other hand pops in to the door holding a spoon "You have chocolate pudding" she comes in to view smiling "I do, and funny enough it has your name on it." she shows him the package and in bright big dark blue letters it says Carl on it she walks over to him "I don't know how that could have happened. Did you do some magic?" he laughs and smiles still looking at the pudding licking his lips "yup" he breaks eye contact with the pudding "Could I please have it now" she smiles and nods "Here you go, dig in" he opens the package, pulls the lid off the cup, licks it and smiles, then he puts it down and gets his spoon he digs in to it and stuffs it in to his mouth, he looks like he is in heaven "So good" we all laugh "I will come and check on you later, you sit here and enjoy this." says Beth he smiles and nods at her "see you later" she walks out of the room, I meet Rick's eyes "You have work to do" I nod at him "Buddy, I am going to see you a little later. I love you." he looks up at me "I love you too" I nod at Rick and he nods back I walk out of Carl's room, I look all around me I don't see her, so I walk outside and I see her talking to Lori and Carol I walk over to T-Dog, Dale, and Glenn who are playing poker, I join in on the next game.

**30 Minutes Later  
><strong>Lori, Carol, and Beth walk in to the house, I guess to start breakfast with Patricia, it's probably close to seven now, we haven't seen Andrea, and we definitely haven't seen Shane, were also missing Jimmy, Otis, and Hershel I wonder where everyone is, and I haven't seen Maggie in a few hours where could she be, I can't get her out of my head we went on that run the first day we got here and we had sex on the floor of the pharmacy I want to shout it to the world but I can't she swore me to secrecy and I promised her I would comply. I shake my head, I need to go and find her, I look down at my cards "I am out" they all laugh and make fun of me, I smile and nod "Yeah Yeah" I throw my cards down and stand up "Be right back" they grunt and I walk in to the house, I hear Beth, Carol, Lori, and Patricia talking in the kitchen, I walk over to the bathroom by the back door "Ladies" I nod and they smile "Good morning Glenn" says Beth, then Patricia smiles "Glenn" then Lori smiles "Sir" I laugh and shake my head leaving them and opening the door to the garage, quietly looking in she's not there. Then I walk to the steps of the basement listening, she's not down there I walk further down and shake my head. I walk back upstairs, and I go to the bathroom when I come back out I walk through the kitchen again and I walk upstairs I look at all the doors which are my options further in I see a landing where there is French doors closed I see Hershel sitting at his desk working, his back is to me. I also see stairs behind him I wonder where those go to. I look back at the doors, I hear the door open and I see Andrea walk out of it, she almost jumps but she looks at me "Glenn?" I wave at her "What are you doing?" I shake my head "I was looking for Shane, I wanted to see where he was, so many doors I am afraid to knock on them. Lori, Carol, Beth, and Patricia are cooking breakfast" she looks at me "I guess I should go help them then" she closes the door behind her "He's sleeping, I don't know what to do-I am not sure if anyone wants him here or not. All he does is sleep" She shakes her head I sense her worry I reach for her hands "Don't worry, it will work out" she laughs "That is all you got, sensei?" I laugh and nod at her "Yeah!" she nods "Alright, I'll make sure to never put my money on you" I nod "Good" she nods and points "Jimmy, Shane, Maggie, Bathroom obviously, Beth, and Hershel's office which leads up to Hershel's room, and Otis and Patricia's bedroom. They did some beautiful renovations about five years back." I smile and nod "It looks good" she nods "I am going to go down and help out" she walks away leaving me there, I look at Maggie's door I am in front of it I knock on it gently watching Hershel, the door opens and I look at her, losing my train of thought she looks at me with annoyance, then she crosses her arms staring at me "Take a picture it lasts longer" I shake my head "You the are girls beautiful are cooking now." I shake my head and she smirks shit I am stupid "I mean, the girls are cooking now" she gets mad "I am not beautiful" I am surprised "What? no, I mean yes, you are beautiful. You are so beautiful." she pushes me out of the way, closes her door and walks downstairs, leaving me in her dust. "Shit" I screwed that up big time. I walk downstairs, smelling Maggie as I am walking.

**Breakfast  
><strong>We all sit down and were waiting to hear who will say the prayer, daddy is searching around the table his eyes meet Dale, Dale nods and smiles "I'd be honoured to say a prayer." We join hands, and then we bow our heads

_BESTOW Thy richest blessings, dear Father, upon this household, and Thy benediction upon this hospitable board. We join together in adoration of Thee. Thy hand is open, and supplies all our needs. Add to these blessings Thy gracious presence, O Christ, and let us realize Thy smile upon us As we commune with one another. _

_Amen!__2_

"Amen" my daddy nods at Dale, Dale smiles and we start eating, there is some conversation happening but some of us are a little too quiet today.

**Cleaning Up House  
><strong> Patricia, Dale and Jimmy are cleaning the kitchen with Maggie and myself, daddy is back up in his office with Otis, Daryl and Rick discussing potential areas to do searches for Sophia, everyone else is scattered about.

**Forty Minutes Later  
><strong> I see Rick nodding in agreement about something then Daryl nods, they sit down and I stand in front of my family-I never knew these people would become my family while none of them are my actual family "I asked for this meeting because I need to tell you guys something." I wait to compose my thoughts but I know what I am trying to say "I don't have proof of this but I feel it and I believe that it's true. I believe that Sophia is gone, really gone and I want us to slow down our searches, I've come to terms with her death, I am working on coming to terms of never finding her body to give her a proper burial but I refuse to keep exhausting ourselves and our resources, every day we look for her it is putting us all at risk. It's been 18 days since we've seen her." I look at all their faces most are upset but two of them are disappointed that I am giving up so easily I shake my head "This is not giving up. this is coming to terms and accepting the things we cannot change." I nod "I also want to thank each and every one of you, who has done so much to help me. I love all of you." I sit down against the tree, "We love you" says everyone at various times then Rick stands up and goes right in to our next order of business "We have been avoiding this topic, but we need to discuss Shane. We need to either send him away or accept him in to our lives, we need a vote, an honest vote I want to do this fully not half-assed, I need you guys to be honest with me." He looks over at Daryl "He was wrong, he's an idiot, and he doesn't think before acting, I also have urges to beat the shit out of him but he is our family and we all got to stick together, he knows how to fight, he is another able bodied person, and he is dating Andrea. He has been suffering and I still think we should have free reign to beat him up just the one time, finally Carl loves him and needs him, how would we explain Shane being gone to Carl?" Rick nods "Lori?" she shakes her head "I hate what he did, Shane never pulled stunts like that at the beginning so I don't know why he did it now. Daryl's right though, Carl would never understand and he is useful as long as he stays on a leash and controlled." Then Rick looks at Dale "Dale, what's your opinion?" Dale nods "He is suffering, he hates himself more than we ever could" Then T-Dog shakes his head "Are you sure about that?" Dale nods "Yes I saw him, I spoke to him, I spoke to Hershel and I did some research." T-Dog shakes his head "Fine, I will give him the benefit of the doubt but I will not hesitate to knock him around if he steps out of line again." Daryl nods "I'll be right beside you" T-Dog nods, then Andrea speaks out "He is depressed and sad, he feels guilty and he is having a hard time getting past it-he's going to be different now" Rick nods and looks at me "Carol?" I nod my head "Give him one more chance, and if or when he screws up then teach him a lesson." Daryl and T-Dog nod in agreement with me "Sounds good to me" says T-Dog, Rick nods then looks over at Glenn "Glenn?" he shakes his head "No opinion, it's already settled and I am okay either way" Rick nods "Alright, meeting adjourned " Rick walks back to the house leaving us all out here, while Daryl walks over to the stables after five minutes he is riding this spotted black and white horse, it's kind of ugly, I told him not to go out there and look for her, why is he going?.  
>Last night I received permission from Beth to take one of the horses out to the ridge, I heard what Carol said but I refuse to believe that my instincts are off. So I walk to the stables putting on my backpack as I am walking I hear the sounds of four horses, I walk up to the first one he is a velvet black colour I go near him and he almost bites my head off, I try again but he is not having any of it. So I walk over to the second one he is white with these brown patches he isn't as mean but he is also not having any of it, then I go to the third horse she is a coffee colour, she is allowing me to pet her but she is not going to move from that spot, she is probably Nelly. So I try the final horse she is black but covered in a lot of white spots. she isn't as beautiful as the others but she is calm and friendly and likes me, so I reach for the harness and I put it on her. We ride off to that ridge I know I can get a clear view of the area around us, as we're riding along I see a cliff below with Sophia's suitcase as I get her to move closer I hear a snake slide past her, she panics throwing me off of her running away as I am rolling down the cliff hitting my head on the rock and landing right on my arrow "Son of a bitch" I crawl out of the water and over to the side I rip the sleeves off of my shirt and tie them together tying it around my torso where the arrow is sticking out from the back to the side. "Of all damn horses I pick Nelly" I look up to see how far I've fallen and I am standing up walking to reach for a large stick to help me find my crossbow in the water I get it and I use that stick to climb the cliff, I am bleeding, and I feel extreme pain. As I am climbing I am trying to reach for the rooted branches but it is getting harder and harder "Come on man, stop being such a pussy" I breathe in, I make a move but I end up falling all the way back down to the bottom pushing the arrow further in my skin and hitting my head off a rock, then it goes black.<br>I felt water hitting my face, I open my eyes everything is blurry, the sun is in my eyes, my head hurts, and my side hurts I see the rain fall, I think it may have been a few hours later because I could feel the dry blood on my skin "Why don't you pull that arrow out dummy, you can bind your wound better." I open my eyes to the sound "Merle?" he chuckles "hmm, what's going on here, you taking a siesta or something?" I respond "A shitty day bro." he smiles "like me to get you a pillow, maybe rub your feet" I shout louder then I meant to because all the pain is coming back to me "screw you" and he laughs "you're the one screwed from the looks of it, all them years, I spent trying to make a man of yah, this is what I get. Look at you lying in the dirt like a used rubber your gonna die out here brother." I shake my head and reply "girl, they lost a little girl." he responds "so you got a thing for little girls now." I shout "shut up" he retorts "cause I noticed you aren't out here looking for old Merle no more."I shake my head "I tried like hell to find you bro." he retorts "like hell you did, you split, man. lit out the first chance you got." I shook my head "you lit out, all you had to do was wait, we went back for you, Rick and I, he did it because I asked him to." He responds "is this the same Rick who cuffed me to the roof top in the first place forced me to cut off my own hand is this who we talking bout' right here. You his bitch now." I shout "I ain't nobodies bitch." He responds "you're a joke is what you are, playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy asses, niggers, and democrats. Hmm...your nothing but a freak to them, redneck trash it's all you, yeah, there laughing behind your back, you know that don't you. I got a little news for you. Soon, one of these days, they are gonna scrap yah off their heels, like you is dog shit." everything gets blurry but he slaps me to wake me again "Hey, they ain't your kin, your blood, hell if you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours, you'd go back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me, now you listen to me ain't nobody ever going to care about you except for meh, ain't nobody ever will, come on, get up on your feet or I am have to kick your teeth in, come on, come on." He is kicking me, I look at him but it's not him it's a walker, I fight him then I climb over him and I smash his head in with the stick. I lie there breathing hard, and feeling a lot more pain, I look down at the arrow and I pull it out at first slowly but then I get faster at it when I see another walker charging at me, I place the arrow in my crossbow and I shoot it at that walker charging towards me, he falls to the ground dead. I move out of range for any more walkers, I take off my shirt and put it against my wound best as I could, "son of a bitch was right" I stand up and sit on a old tree that fell and I clean my knife then I cut open the squirrel and I start eating. I walk to pick up Sophia's suitcase when that damned horse got scared and I look inside of it, it's empty "Really. stupid son of a bitch" I toss it aside and it smashes against the rock breaking, I walk over to it and there are two pieces from it that are pretty sharp and could be used as a weapon. I use my knife to cut out the shoe laces of the shoes of the walkers, I cut their ears off of the walkers and put it on the necklace, I wear it on my neck and I climb the massive hill in massive pain but I need to get up there it's too dangerous to just lie here and wait.  
>I look up at the hot sun, that small summer rain has been long gone, and so has the memory of Merle because I know it wasn't him. I am climbing higher and higher, I hear a bunch of birds flying away "Please Don't feed the birds" he laughs "what's the matter Darlina? is that all that you got in yah? throw away that purse and climb." I ignore his comment "It's always so quiet when you aren't around" he retorts "come on don't be like that, I am on your side" I shake my head "yeah? since when?" he responds "hell since the day you were born baby brother. Somebody had to look after your worthless ass" I shake my head "Yeah, but then you got yourself arrested. You talk a big game but you were never really there. Hell, you aren't here now. Guess some things never change." I am pissed "Well I'll tell you what I'm as real as your chupacabra." I shout "I know what I saw." he laughs "Yeah and I am sure them shrooms you ate had nothing to do with it, right?" I get mad "You best shut the hell up" he retorts "or what you gonna come up here and shut my mouth for me. Well come on and do it then. If you think your man enough" he chuckles "Hey, kick off them damn high heels and climb, son" he laughs "You know what if I was you, I'd take a pause for the cause, brother. Cause I just don't think you're gonna make it to the top." I start climbing higher "come on. Come on, little brother. Grab your friend Rick's hand." I reach the top of the cliff and I look around for him "Yeah that's right, you stupid son of a bitch" then I walk away making my way back to the farm. I've been walking for awhile now I know this cause I've also blacked out a lot of times, I am in agony but I am still going I am covered in my blood and walkers blood. I reach the farm it is in my view now, I hear the group making noise when they see me then I see Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog running towards me, Rick is the only one with a gun and its pointed at me, then they take a second look "Is that Daryl?" I spit out "That is the third time you pointed that thing at my head, you gonna pull the trigger or what?" they are in front of me and his gun is down, then I hear the sound and I am pushed back slightly, I feel a sharp pain on my head which causes all the pain I feel to triple as I fall, I shout "I was kidding" then everything gets blurry then goes black.<br>I run over to Daryl "NO!" I shout, then T-Dog helps me pick him up his head is bleeding where he just got hit and on the other side from his trek into the woods.  
>We heard a gun go off, we all ran outside and I see Andrea and Dale running in the field towards the woods "What on earth is going on? out here" daddy asks.<br>I looked over at Dale and Andrea running towards us, then I notice the ears on his neck "Look at him, what the hell happened, he's wearing ears." Rick notices them then takes them off him and stuffs them in his shirt "Yeah, well let's keep that one to ourselves." Andrea is shouting "Oh my god, is he dead?" Rick shakes his head "He went unconscious, you grazed him." We carry him towards the house, "Hey guys?" We turn around and look at T-Dog "Didn't these pieces belong to the suitcase, Sophia owned?" We look at them and bring him back to the house, Hershel looks at us "What happened?" I shake my head "Andrea shot Daryl. she thought he was a walker." T-Dog responds, I am looking at Hershel he is disappointed in us and I am disappointed in Andrea, Hershel looks at Andrea "What did I tell you about guns?" she stays silent, he shakes his head and looks at Patricia "Patricia will you go and show Rick and T-Dog where they can bring Daryl. I am going to be right behind you." She nods and we walk in to the house and up the stairs to the guest bedroom.

**Ten Minutes Later  
><strong>We lay him on the bed, T-Dog leaves, Patricia comes back in and stands at the door while Hershel gets to work "Why was Daryl out there?" I shake my head at him "He asked Beth if he could borrow a horse, he wanted to go to this ridge to see if he could find something of Sophia's. When he got there I don't know what happened but obviously he was successful we were about to go out and look for her when Andrea saw him coming towards us, he looked like a walker. I told her not to shoot because it was only one and when we got in front of him we saw that it was him but she disobeyed a direct request and shot him." Hershel shakes his head and I stay silent, I look down at Daryl "Will he be okay?" He nods "Yeah, he'll be okay. He is going to be unconscious because he has lost a lot of blood and has a concussion" I nod at him "We have to give him stitches also" I nod again "Go and get Otis and Jimmy" I nod and I walk downstairs Otis and Jimmy go upstairs while I update the group. "We need to do a blood transfusion" Otis nods "Jimmy and I will test everyone in here and see if it's a match." I nod at him, I look at Patricia "We need to sedate him then we need to stitch up his side and his head" she nods and gets that set up, I turn him on his side I rip his shirt and I notice the scars and tattoos. I look at Patricia and she shakes her head in sadness we get to work on him.

**Ten MinutesL  
><strong>Carol is helping us test the samples, she is a scientist who knows her way when it comes to testing things "He is AB+ we can use anyone who is willing to donate, Beth is also AB+" I nod at Carol "Ahh, the universal recipient, they can receive blood from any blood type.3 Jimmy is shocked to learn about that and Otis is also a little surprised "Alright well let's get some blood for him" They go their separate ways while Patricia and I finish stitching him up, we give him an IV bag to keep him nourished and stopping further damage from happening.  
>Hershel walks outside while Patricia is doing the transfusion, I shake my head "I can't believe this is happening to our group. first Carl gets shot, then Daryl falls and gets shot in one day, what next?" Hershel shakes his head "Hopefully nothing. my supply of antibiotics have become very limited. I need Maggie and Glenn to get me some more medical supplies." He nods "I will go and get them to do that right now while we still have daylight." Rick leaves me.<p>

**Six Hours Later  
><strong>Daryl is lying in the bed, he is healing properly and we are monitoring him, we are also checking to see that he wakes up from the drugs, he's groggy but keeps falling back asleep.

**Fourteen Days Later  
><strong>Daryl's wounds are recovering nicely, we have been easing him off the medication so that he can start moving around and get off of that bed.

**Three Hours Later  
><strong>I stir awake, I feel rested like I did the night Beth and I fell asleep on the couch. I don't feel any pain. I feel warm so I turn around and I feel the blanket on me it falls then I get a chill, the sun is setting now and I turn to face the door, I feel a piece of paper beside my head I reach for it, trying not to move a lot, I focus on the writing and read it out loud.

_'Hi, When you asked me to borrow a horse, I warned you about one that is not going to be good for you and of course you have to take her out. You should be dead, but I am glad you're not but if you ever do something dangerous and stupid like that again I will kill you myself then I will hunt you down in the afterlife and kill you again. You need to be around for a long time Daryl. See you in a few more hours. Yours truly, Beth.'_

I smile and I put the piece of paper deep in to the pockets of my pants, I hear the door open and I see Hershel while Patricia is carrying a tray, we make eye contact and is surprised to see me awake, he walks further in to the room, while Patricia puts the tray down on the chair "How are you?" she asks I nod "I am doing really good, healing nicely" she smiles "Would you like something to eat?" I nod at her "Yes please" she turns around and walks out of the room closing the door behind her, I look at Hershel "Daryl, how nice to see you awake. How is your head?" I reply "It doesn't hurt anymore, how long was I out for?" he replies and is standing in front of me, he is checking my head wounds to make sure they aren't infected "about fourteen days" he finishes doing that then he holds his finger up to me "Follow my finger" he moves it up, down, right, and left "Is that difficult for you?" I shake my head "No sir." He moves away and points to the bed "Turn over let me see your stitches." He waits for me to turn over "You saw my back, did Patricia?" he nods "Yes" I nod and turn over "You're not curious?" He responds "I am very curious but it's none of my business-besides I am not a stupid man I can come up with my own theories." Hershel walks over placing the tray on the window bench "Any idea what happened to my horse?" I respond "Yeah the one that almost killed me, if she's smart enough, she left the country." He smiles and responds "Yeah we call that one Nelly, as in nervous Nelly. I could have told her she would have thrown you if you bothered to ask" I shake my head "I got Beth's permission, she warned me but I got distracted and missed the part about who Nelly was." He laughs "Distracted, that is very unlike you from what I hear." I nod as he does his work on my side "Yeah, it doesn't usually happen." He responds "I am sorry that you got hurt twice in one day." I shake my head at him "My entire life I've been hurt and it ain't no different than any other day." He replies "I disagree, You are surrounded by people who care about you, that is what makes it different." I am lying in silence while he works on my side "pops was catholic he believed that when I sinned I deserved the belt for the amount I sinned, if he decided that I was Envious and Slothful that day, I would get 9 slashes. This happened a lot, and I had no idea how to stop it from happening because I never did anything, he just came up with it on his own ideas and his own craziness. Something in his head snapped the night Merle's momma died" Hershel shakes his head "Where was your mother? Didn't you have any family who could stop him?" I shake my head "Momma was addicted to pain killers. she'd be too high or passed out when this happened. I have a older brother Merle. he was in prison at the time which is why I was getting beaten. our pops thought I was Merle he was so lit he didn't even remember that his son was in prison and that I was his younger innocent son." He shakes his head "That is terrible. I also had a battle with the bottle, I wasn't perfect either Maggie got it real bad. I hated the man I was back then, and I hated how Maggie had to experience it but when I got cleaned, I vowed to never let Beth feel or see that man that I once was. Maggie and Beth make me want to stay a better man. especially because I owe so much to Maggie." I stay silent "Sir, I do not want to step over the line here because you have done so much for us and there is not enough ways for us to repay you but I need to say something. You raised really great daughters, you do not need to worry about them they are strong and smart. You have your reasons for keeping Beth safe but in the end. what you're doing is going to get her killed. I hope that you realize that before it's too late because she is special." He stays silent and so do I, I am clearly taking a chance seeing as how he is calling all the shots and Shane already pushed the limits. He finishes wrapping my wound I sit back against the head board and am still in the blankets "Daryl I want an honest answer from you" I look at him and he looks at me "How come you've taken an interest in Beth? You could have any woman you want but you chose Beth, why? I shake my head at him "Before we came here and the CDC blew up, I was just looking for sex. Then when we had to be out there slumming, fighting, it was tiring and I had no interest in sex or relationships; I just wanted food, sleep, and quiet days. The day Carl got shot and we came here, I saw Beth I thought she was put on this earth to make us jealous, she is so clean, and put together, it made me mad. Then she introduced herself and Ignored her and she set me straight that my attitude would not get me far so I owed her an apology but I fought her on it, I wasn't going to fold that easily, finally when I did it was with less sincerity then it should have been but she knew that so she stood beside me and irritated me for ten minutes where I started warming up to her, she got under my skin, when she saw what Shane did to Otis, she knocked him to the ground and she made him hurt with those dang cowboy boots and in that moment I had noticed her beauty, and I have so much respect for her, I saw the special, I saw the love, and I saw the spirit." I laugh "I didn't chose Beth, she just happened to leave an impression on me. I am not going to lie to you, I have been with a lot of woman, I have been with all types too, but they have never made such an effect on me like Beth has, I have never wanted them to stick around, and I definitely never cared about them in any kind of way. I enjoy sitting there and talking to her, I enjoy teaching her how to be stronger, I don't like talking about my life or about my emotions but when I am with her I feel safe, this is new to me I am so scared that I am not good enough, I am scared that she doesn't like me, I am scared that I will destroy all the good inside of her because everything good in my life has turned to shit. She makes me want to be better, she makes me think of a real future, and she makes me happy and I'd be so lucky to have her if I could ever be the right choice for her." Hershel nods, I continue "Beth is not like those girls in your past" I nod at him "I am so glad about that, if I really cared about that I could get it anytime, I want from Carol. I have been having sex since I was fifteen years old and I have always had the kind of woman who will dress like sluts, they will always sleep with any guy who comes near them. For once in my life I am glad that it isn't all about sex, don't get me wrong I like it just like anyone else but because Beth has such high standards and because she has so much respect for herself it just makes me appreciate her even more, it makes me want to give her the same respect. It's so cool to see a girl who is so humble about her beauty, I also like that even though we are so different in age, we mesh well together." I go back to silence and Hershel stays quiet, I can't get a read on what he is thinking.  
>I hear a knock on the door "Come in" says Hershel, he looks over at Rick and Patricia who walk in to the room. He collects the tray of medical things and looks down at me "You should get some more rest, I am going to come back in a few hours and check up on you." I nod, he walks out of the room, Patricia has a tray of food, and is standing in front of me "Here you go, enjoy, just leave it on the dresser, when you're finished I'll pick It up later." I nod and smile "Thanks" she squeezes my hand and nods, she closes the door behind her. I look at Rick "How are you?" I nod "I am good, I've been through worse." He nods "You found Sophia's suitcase. why did you smash it?" I respond "It was empty and when I threw it against the rock it smashed and I used the pieces as weapons." He nods "Yeah I saw the jewellery you were making, it's beautiful." I shake my head and close my eyes pressing my lips together "Thank-you, it took me ten minutes" He sits down on the chair beside me we both laugh "So Where did you find her suitcase?" I reply "I found it washed up on a creek bed over at that ridge, she must have lost it or discarded it crossing over it or something. That means I cut the grid almost in half. Your welcome." I smile at him "When did I say thank-you? It's not my fault that you cannot stay still." I look over at Rick "Really! It's not my fault that I am the only one taking the risks, and getting us closer to the truth." I shake my head at him "I am the group leader. I cannot risk all of these people's lives that is the reason why we are taking longer to get area covered and we are still getting closer to the truth. just like you did. So that when we take risks there isn't a lot of damage like there was today." I nod at him "Daryl I want to find her just as badly as you do. but this is seven people's lives not one person I know that when you were with Merle, you guys just went in half-cocked and asked questions later I would love to do that also but it is not safe for anyone. So please will you just follow my lead." I am looking at him straight in the eyes, I nod "I think I am just pissed that Carol wants us to stop, I know that we can't risk lives and I respect you." He nods "I am pissed too I don't know how not to look for her, it's my fault that she is gone and I don't want to give up." I nod at him we stay silent "I saw Merle when I was there. At least I think it was Merle. He was a jackass just like usual but he made me fight to stay alive. He also said a lot of things." Rick shakes his head "What kind of things?" I shake my head "He hates you real bad. He told me to kill you, and he told me that you guys will never accept me. like really accept me. That you all will use me and discard me." I stare at Rick "Do you believe him?" I shake my head "No but I am scared that there always could be a chance that he's right." Rick shakes his head "How do you mean?" I reply "You know better than anyone else that you cannot control situations from happening. What if one day you decide that I am no longer part of this group." He shakes his head "Daryl I have become friends with you in such a small amount of time, that I don't think you need to worry. We love you and we need you." I stay silent, then Rick talks "Look, you take the time to figure that out. Just If you're going to kill me, make sure that you at least let me say goodbye and that no one else is going to see it." He stands up and leaves my room, I shake my head in frustration that Merle would plant that doubt in my head-or was it already there because Merle wasn't actually there. I am going to just sit here and eat now, before I become more confused.<br>I finish eating my meal when I hear a knock on the door "Come in" I see it open and Andrea walks in to the room, she is holding my bag with my clothes in it she looks at me but stands in the spot "I am so sorry Daryl." I reply "Shoot me again. Best pray I am dead." she nods at me and I nod at her "Why do you have my bag? Are you here to give me a sponge bath?" She shakes her head and looks mad at that comment "I am not a slut Daryl. I don't go whoring around with every guy who walks in to my line of sight." I nod "It was a joke. I am sorry. Come here a minute." She walks over to the bed and is standing in front of me, I reach for my bag "I am grateful, you brought me clothes. Thank-you. I know you're not a slut. You've been banging Shane for three months." She nods "Let's just hope you have no diseases" She laughs "You are just as dirty as he is. from what I hear you are Daryl Dixon Heartbreaker." I shake my head "I use to be. but then I became boring after the CDC. And for the record I have never had an STD. I've always been careful. I don't know if we can say the same thing about Shane." I laugh as she gets mad, she punches me in the leg "Oww. first you shoot me then you punch an injured man in the leg. You're mean." she leans forward and gives me a kiss on the forehead "I love you Daryl. I am glad you lived to never let me live this down." I squeeze her hands "I love you too. And your right I am never going to let you live this down." I hear another knock on the door "Come in" I see Lori she sees me and smiles then starts crying, Andrea nods and walks out of the room squeezing Lori's hand on the way out, she closes the door "Hey, Hey are you okay? Why are you crying?" she shakes her head "First Carl, then you. This cowboy shit needs to stop" I smile and laugh "That's why your crying, please don't cry over that you know it makes me uncomfortable." she is wrapped in my arms on my right side I only have one arm wrapped around her but her hand is in mine "Daryl I love you. We all love you. We need you around Rick, Carl, Carol, T-Dog, Glenn, Dale, Andrea-maybe not Shane but it doesn't matter. Don't let what Merle said make you forget that we are your family too, even if it isn't blood. you have been with us for two years, have we ever once shown you that we are just using you?" I am silent but she knows I am listening and she is right "I am pregnant." I look at her and she looks at me, she is surprised "It's not Shane's right?" She shakes her head "No, that ended a long time ago." I smile at her "Are you happy?" she shrugs "I don't know-I never wanted to bring a child in to this mess of a world, but a child is a blessing. But the fact is I never wanted to bring a child in to this. I am less than three weeks. I can still take care of it if I decide too. You, Hershel and Andrea are the only people I told. What should I do Daryl?" I shake my head and I hold her tighter again "Other than gain weight." she chuckles and flicks my ear "Easier said than done." I nod "Yes it is. if we weren't in this mess and you found out you were pregnant would you be happy or sad about it?" she is silent then she responds "first I'd be scared because it would end up being Shane's because I was sleeping with him for a long time. See right then and there that speaks volumes. Rick and I were having problems, lots of problems, I wasn't happy and he wasn't happy I do not want to bring a child in to a unhappy marriage. we had Carl and I wished so many times that he didn't need to be involved in Rick's and mine's issues, we were broken and when he went in to the coma Shane was my comfort, he was Carl's comfort-we thought he died and Shane stepped up and took care of us. Shane and I ended it, it was hard but it was right I need to make my marriage work with Rick because Carl deserves that, he deserves to know that he has people who will be stable, will protect him, and will go to the ends of the earth for him to stay youthful and happy. Having a baby and doing what we do is hard, babies cry, they need to sleep, they need lots of food and lots of things, it's hard to travel fast if we need too when there is a baby." she starts crying and shakes her head "A baby is a blessing, if this baby survives she or he would be a miracle, maybe we need a miracle. Maybe we need to be hopeful and maybe we need a little bit of blind faith." We sit there in silence "You do what you need to do. no one else can tell you what to do in this situation." I nod at her and she nods at me "Thank-you." she kisses me on the forehead and leaves my room, she is about to close the door but Carol walks in to view "How are you feeling" I shake my head "Not as good as I look." she kisses my forehead "it's just some stitches." she nods at me "Your forgiven. I just need you to do one thing from now on." I nod at her, almost forgetting that we still didn't solve this issue "Anything" She nods "Tell me the truth all the time" I nod at her "Alright. Just for the record I have no more secrets from you." she nods "Good. Keep it that way." I nod at her "Okay" she nods "You need to know something, you did more for my baby girl then her own daddy has ever done for her in his entire life." I shake my head "I didn't do anything Rick wouldn't have done." she nods "I know. Your every bit as good as them. every bit." she walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.  
>I lie down and close my eyes. I am starting to feel tired. A few minutes later I hear my door open, I turn around wondering who it is this time I see Beth standing in the doorway, she looks outside then closes the door, she walks over to the bed and gets on her knees at my bedside "Hi" she smiles "hi" she reaches for my hands "How are you?" I nod and smile "tired and in a little pain but way better then before. Look I am sorry that I worried you." she nods "Good you better be. You're not going to pull another stunt like that are you?" I shake my head at her "I can try to be more smart about the choices I make." she chuckles "Alright, I'll accept that." I smile "Okay" she nods and squeezes my hand "Get better." she kisses my cheek "Goodnight Daryl" I smile "Goodnight Beth." she opens the door to the bedroom, turns back and grabs the tray and walks out the door, probably placing it down on the ground to close the door. I hear it close and I reach for a shirt in my backpack the plaid one. I leave it undone so that Hershel doesn't cut it again. I turn off the lamp and I lie back down with my back to the door, I bring the sheet up and I close my eyes.<p>

**Ten Days Later  
><strong>I have been getting back in the action of things I started sleeping outside on the porch again. Glenn and Maggie got me new arrows today and today we are going to go look for Sophia like we had planned on doing before I got hurt, we all promised Carol this would be the last time that we do this, she accepted. Rick and I had a nice talk, I decided that these people are going to stay by my side. I also told him that I am not going to kill him but I will need to go and find Merle, because he is still my blood. Rick told me to tell him when that day is going to happen. He also asked me what is going to happen when I find Merle I shook my head "I have no idea, I need to figure it out I guess." He nods and I nod. I've been spending time with Beth, I've been waiting for Hershel to come and talk to me about it but he hasn't, maybe it's because I explained myself the right way. Still if he did tell me to stop being near her I would have too respect his wishes because it's the right thing, Lori is keeping the baby and she told everyone about it, I guess we are going to be going on Blind Faith from now on.  
>"Daddy always told us to be a greater version of ourselves, he told us to push the limits that you set for yourself and see if you can do better." He shakes his head "Sounds tiring" I nod and smile "It is, but it is also the best advice I could ever be told because it makes you feel like you can conquer the world." he stays silent but listens "Imagine if you could prove to the world and the people that ever doubted you that you truly are something special and awesome. That everything they said about you or spread lies about is bull crap." He stands there silently "In a perfect world I would be worthy of all those things but the fact is, in this life time I don't deserve that perfection because I am not perfect and neither is the world." We stare at each other silently.<br>"Maggie. Daryl will you both come here" I look at Daryl with surprise and concern then I look at my sister who is looking at Daryl with surprise they both stand up and walk upstairs to his office. I sit there waiting for them to come down and tell me what is happening. **  
><strong>I walk in to Hershel's office after Maggie, I close the doors and we are both standing there and looking at him "You have six hours." We look at him with confusion "For what?" she asks and he replies "Today when you all go out, I am allowing Beth to join you." My heart flips a little, I never thought I'd hear those words come out of Daddy's mouth I look at Daryl he looks surprised but happy, he looks at me and nods then looks back at Daddy.  
>"She'll be so happy" Hershel nods at me "Yes she will. There is something I need you both to promise me though." I nod "Anything" we both say "You two better make sure that she is safe, that nothing happens to her, and finally that she knows the severity of this adventure it is not a game to be played, she is also not to be left behind or alone." We nod at him "I understand daddy" then I nod "I understand sir" he nods "As well, when it is lunch time you guys will have come back here for lunch, I will assess the situation and I will make the choice to allow her to go back out for the second part of this search." we both nod again "I promise to take really good care of her sir" I say and Maggie nods "I promise you that we will do right by you." he nods at her "You both made really good points about Beth and that is why I am testing her today, hearing her speak up about everything made me see the errors of my way." she nods at him and I walk over to him holding out my hand "Thank-you sir, I won't let you down." he takes my hand "Your smart enough to know that no good will come out of letting me down especially if you plan on marrying my daughter one day." I blush and shake my head I smile and nod, he smiles and nods I walk out of the office and I walk right over to Beth who is still sitting in the same spot as I left her but her face is covered in curiosity.<br>"Daddy your raised us both really well. we have good strong heads on our shoulders. You can relax a little bit for a moment." He smiles but is getting emotional "I love your a lot June bug." I nod at him and bring him in for a hug and a kiss "I love your too daddy." We pull away I am about to leave his office but then I remember what he said about Daryl and Beth getting married, I need to tell him about Glenn. "Daddy, I need to tell you something" he looks up at me with worry "Alright" I nod at him "I am only telling you out of respect but it will not change no matter how you feel about it" his look changes "I have been sleeping with Glenn, and during those moments I have fallen for him but I am keeping him at a distance because I am scared of feeling like this, I've lost so many people to this world and I do not want to lose him." He stays silent but the anger is clear, then he shakes his head " You made a promise to me Margaret Helen Greene and I expect you to keep it, you will not worry about your own life right now." I nod and walk out of his office.  
>I walk over to Beth and I hug her "I am so excited for you" she smiles and nods "Thank-you" she brings me and Daryl in to her for a hug "We made promises to daddy, don't do anything we do not tell you to do." We pull away and I leave them to continue talking, I go look for Glenn.<br>"What's your brother like?" He laughs "Merle is the definition of drama." I ask " Merle is the definition of drama and what does that mean?" He responds "Pops and Merle were never simple, and as Merle became older he'd be more defiant, he'd get in to more problems, and he'd be reckless. My pops was working as much as he could, so he'd work odd jobs he would take jobs, Merle raised himself, pops was never around, so Merle got kicked in to and out of detention, he was suspended then he got kicked out of school when he was 7 years old. Pops didn't know that but when he found out, Merle got his ass handed to him by pops numerous times. Pops overdosed one day, which got noticed by the wrong people and Merle went in to the foster system until pops could change his habits and get clean. It didn't last too long, Merle made the wrong friends for everyone else but him. When pops and Merle left Texas it was still so tough between the two of them but they worked through it. My pops met my mom in 1972, she helped him clean up his habit, he made nice with Merle, took care of his family, was in therapy for his anger and pain. My momma Lina was the light in the darkness for him and he thought that this winning streak would keep soaring. They had me in 1980, I was another car on the luck train, my momma loved Merle as if he was her own son—every weekend we go over to spend time with my momma's father grandpa Norman he lived about forty minutes away and most evenings during the week we spend time with him because both our parents were at work. Grandpa Norman and I spent all the time together, Merle was getting older and had no interest in it. so he would go and do his own thing and come back in time for supper. Grandpa Norman died from lung cancer on December 26th 1989. he was our last living family member. His death destroyed my momma it is what got her started on her depression and she was prescribed pills but it got worse and worse, she couldn't work a job, Merle was invested in helping our family out, so he started making money he'd help out with things and pops started drinking again and heavily when he found out Merle was a drug dealer, he started getting overly drunk and overly angry and overly abusive-Merle would always take the beatings, he never cried, he would always provoke him and try to fight him back, then pops would pass out and it'd happen all over again. Merle stayed in contact with those people from the foster system, and was spending more and more time with them, he'd run away from home, skip school, stealing, vandalising, and just wreaking havoc anywhere he went." He shakes his head and stays silent "Will pick up later on" I smile and nod "Alright"

**Ten Minutes Later**  
>I am sitting at the window sill looking out at the vast forest, we are going to be going out there soon and honestly we are going to need all the help we can get. I turn around and I take off my pants I walk over to the bed and I sit on my knees I move my lips up his torso sending little kisses I feel him flinch then relax "What are you doing?" I don't look up I continue "You need to stop this cruel cycle" then I look up at him "I want to climb on top of you and I want you to fuck me so hard that I can't walk straight. Then I want you to go and clean yourself up and I want you to go downstairs and apologize sincerely then you are going to need to come with us on our search. From now on I do not want to see sleeping or lying in this bed when it is daylight outside, you have to come out of this depression and be the man I know for the rest of our time here." I move my lips back to his body working my way up kissing and sucking, when my lips meet his he reaches for me and crashes me down on his lap he pulls my top off and undoes my bra, he plays with my nipples and then I reach for his pants getting them down and I move his boxers while he moves my panties to the side I raise myself reaching for his hard cock and I crash down on it and he fucks me like a wild beast.<p>

**Twenty Minutes Later  
><strong>I am lying down beside him, and he sits up he puts on his dirty clothing leans back down on the bed and kisses me on the lips he stares in to my eyes "Thank-you" I am frozen under his gaze "I didn't do anything" he shakes his head "You did everything" he reaches for clean clothes and his razor, he walks in to the washroom I hear the shower and I walk over to get my clothes.

**Fifteen Minutes Later  
><strong>We are all getting our gear, our weapons, and ourselves to move out, Shane hasn't come down yet but I heard him moving up there then I hear him descend down the stairs, he walks in to the dining room and we all look at him he clears his throat "I am so sorry to all of you, especially you Otis. What I did was thoughtless, it was reckless, and it was unfair. I really need all of you to forgive me, but I really need you to forgive me Otis." We all look over at Otis "These last few weeks have made me see that it's not always easy but when you have the right people around you, it gets easier. I forgive you." Rick nods "We all forgive you. But I will warn you this is your last chance." Daryl nods "T-Dog and I will hurt you, if you blow it." He nods and looks at Hershel "Thank-you." Hershel nods and we all gather hands, he says a prayer

_Each day and each night that I place myself under his keeping,__I shall not be forgotten. I shall not be destroyed. I shall not be imprisoned. I shall not be harassed by evil powers__. (Prayer by St Brigit of Kildare, 453-524)__4_

I say a quick prayer for everyone it won't hurt me to do that I just want to make sure we all arrive back here at lunch time.

_God, __Proverbs 3:5-6__  
>Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.<em>_5_

_Please keep them safe, all of the people who are in my hearts and thoughts and please protect me until I can learn to protect myself._

_Amen_

**Rick, Daryl, Beth, and Maggie  
><strong> Rick and Daryl said it isn't a good idea for me to have a gun because I have no experience holding, aiming or shooting one. I agree so I am wedged in between the group covered from all angles I am glad Daryl ended up being with us, because I get to stare at him, I get to smell him, I look at Daryl "I am surprised that you're not with Carol." He looks at me he laughs then looks at Rick "Why when this man right over here needs my protection, also I taught Glenn how to track, their ain't no one in this group who can say the same." Rick shakes his head "Obviously we need you Daryl." I hear the sarcasm in his voice, I laugh and smile he looks over at me "See I told you he needed me." I nod "Sounded like sarcasm to me" he looks at me with surprise "Oh so that's what sarcasm sounds like. I personally thought it sounded so honest." I shake my head at him "Of course it did." He shakes his head at me "Just admit that you need me, you don't got to lie about it, everyone needs to just be open up and be honest." He smiles "Just say that you all need me." We're all silent "Come on now, it's a matter of fact. I know it is." I look over at Maggie and Rick they like me are holding in their laughter he shakes his head he looks over at Rick and makes funny faces, Rick doesn't budge he looks over at Maggie and does the same, she doesn't budge, he looks over at me he smiles and then he pouts, it breaks me I am laughing he is smiling all self-assured "No Beth, why did you break first" asks Rick, then I look at Maggie she is shaking her head at me "Elizabeth Victoria Greene, I am disappointed in you." I smile and laugh even harder then we all just break in to laughter, after a few minutes we calm down and he is standing beside me now while Maggie and Rick are ahead of us "Carol can take care of herself, and we cover more area apart. That day when we disappeared I told her the truth, she and I are just friends now." I look at him "You made the choice?" he nods "Yeah, I made the choice. So what about you and Jimmy?" I stay silent "I don't want there to be a me and Jimmy." he nods "But there still is right?" I nod at him "Yes" he nods but stays silent then he breaks it again "Can I ask you something?" I nod at him "Sure" he goes silent momentarily "Are you in to me?" my heart pounded in my chest for a moment "Why do you ask?" OMG I am so nervous "I want to make sure that I am not the only one sensing this, I feel like I don't deserve you, like do you even want any part of what I have to offer to you?" I nod at him "You are not alone in this, I sense it too. You deserve me, and I love what you have to offer." He smiles at me and I smile at him "Just do me one favor be patient with me, I promise you that one day I will be able to go to other levels with you but I need to do it my way and in my own pace." He smiles "I promise" then he nods "But for the record I am not pushing for that, not at all I have been having sex since I was fifteen years old I could take a break especially for a beautiful blonde whose name is Beth" we both laugh "Could you please do the same for me, let me go at my own pace to opening up to you about my life and my emotions, don't push me on it, it's hard to talk about. I have never cared about a girl like I do about you, I am in a whole new game here but I will do it right" I nod and smile "I promise" he holds out his pinky to me I interlock our pinkies. "So are you okay with the friendship i am going to still have with Jimmy?" he nods "Are you okay with Carol being in my life?" I nod at him "Yeah I am okay with it" he nods "Okay" we stay silent  
>After about ten minutes Rick starts speaking again "Speaking of a matter of fact, I just remembered. Did you two ladies ever hear of a Chupacabra?" Daryl stops dead in his tracks and turns around "Really, that's how you're going to take revenge." Rick nods he looks at Maggie "You ladies, don't want to hear about this." Then he looks at me "right?" I look at Maggie and she smiles, "This sounds interesting, I would love to er' it." I look at Rick "What is a chupacabra" he smiles and I look at Daryl he shakes his head "it's a creature that is 3-4 feet tall it sucks blood6" he shakes his head "when the blood is drained it kills the blood source" Maggie breaks out in to a fit of giggles which then causes me to let out my laughter Daryl looks annoyed "Why does everyone think I am crazy-—listen ere' I saw it for myself one day while I was in Martin's Additions, Maryland back in two thousand and eight" I go silent and look at them.<p>

**T-Dog, Otis, and Andrea  
><strong>Otis asked me "Where did you learn to fight?" I look up at him " The military, where did you learn to track?" he smiles at me "I've been hunting for a very long time my daddy and grandfather made it a on-going thing so I picked up the tools not to mention I lived in the country." I nod at him "Well then we are a lethal combination" he nods "We are." He says confidently.

**Shane, Jimmy, Carol, Glenn  
><strong>_I am walking with these adults and I am bored to tears, Shane is busy trying to fill the silence with useless junk and he is constantly on guard for danger. Carol is sad and depressed. Glenn is tracking and not paying attention to any of us. I am in the worst possible group I could be in. _

_I look at Jimmy, I can feel his boredom like I am the one who is bored, I feel bad for him because the first time he meets us we have chatterbox commando, and brooding Carol. I am tracking for us though that's a positive, Daryl taught me everything I know and I am not one hundred percent like he is but I am all they got so it will do. I wonder how Maggie is doing, I wonder if she's thinking about me. Are Daryl and Beth having fun together? I wonder if Rick and Daryl are taking turns humiliating each other with our groups' wild stories. _

**Lori, Dale, Patricia, Hershel and Carl  
><strong>_I'm sitting here with my son, we are reading a story I just told him about the baby and he is happy, he said we need to have a miracle happen just like I said. _

**Rick, Daryl, Beth, and Maggie  
><strong>They are still laughing at me so I decide to scare them by telling a scarier version of my encounter with the chupacabra. After i am done my story I look at Beth and Maggie they look terrified. We suddenly here an owl in the silence and they jump out of their skin, I laugh and so does Rick, Maggie looks at Rick "Y'all playing a trick right?" Rick shakes his head "No Daryl really believes he saw this thing, we all believe he was on some kind of drug." I don't respond because technically I was on shrooms but I had been high for a super long time, it was wearing off by then. She stares at me and smiles "chupacabra or vampire dog, I wonder if there been sightings" he shrugs "probably, it's a real thing." We go back to silence "Rick what were you doing before the apocalypse?" he looks at me "I woke up to this, I am a sheriff in Charleston, I got shot and I ended up in a coma" They look at Rick with surprise on their faces "Wow, that must have been really hard, as well as weird and crazy" he nods, we hear walkers in the distance "are your ladies ready?" asks Daryl but he is looking at me I take a deep breath and nod my head he looks at Maggie she nods and gets herself positioned with er' gun he nods and looks at Rick. They are coming closer. there are nine of them Daryl starts taking out the ones at the front who are closer to us, while Maggie and Rick start shooting, I am waiting for them to come closer so I can stab them the walker reaches for me and Daryl send a bow in to his head, he falls. There are two walkers left, he aims for it leaving one for me he stands there bow in the air ready to shoot "Your need to put a lot of force in to your hits your gotta go through layers of skin and muscles but what could be easier is your stabbing it in the eye, hold on to their shoulder so they don't go backwards and put all of your force in to that one target the knife needs to go all the way in to their eye. Don't be scared he won't be able to hurt your while I am here." I could hear his voice and it is assuring I nod and the walker is at arm's length looking at him it's sad he is hideous and to think he use to be a human being. I look where I want to aim I place my hand around his neck so that i can hold and push the arrow in to his head he smells like death and rotten flesh, I raise the knife and I jam it in to his eye and I keep pushing the walker is moving backwards and Daryl pushes him from behind in to the knife, I hear the sound it makes and I know that he's done for it, I pull the knife out. Daryl nods and holds out his hand to me "good job" I nod giving him high five and I can feel my hand shaking "that was crazy and awesome" we start walking again leaving those walkers behind us, I put my knife back in my holster. We walk past a ravine, in a distance I see something with purple on it I look but I can't tell what it is "What's that down there" Rick looks where I am pointing "Hold on a sec, your three stay here" he slowly goes down the rock, he walks over to the object and picks it up he climbs up again with Daryl's help "It's a doll, I remember this doll, Sophia was carrying it Eliza gave it to her. That day when she got chased in to the woods I told her to wait for me by a ravine just like this, when we got there she wasn't there and neither was her doll. She could have come this far and sat by this ravine knowing that no matter what ravine it is, we would find her. No one showed up for her, I never got the chance there was too much chaos. Daryl we got to follow those foot prints. I should have camped at the one near the CDC, I never should have left." I look at Rick, he feels so guilty he promised that girl he'd come back for her but he never did.  
>I nod and make my way to look at the tracks then I see where its leading I walk back over to Rick, Beth, and Maggie. I look up at him "It's not Sophia's but there are tracks we can follow." The tracks belong to another child someone who walks on their tip toes, that child probably found the doll and was keeping it but it looks like there was a walker who attacked her and she was saved by the adult footprints of a man and woman. Rick nods at me and puts the doll in his backpack Rick jumps down, then he helps Maggie while I help Beth, we walk over to where I saw the tracks I start following them "Yeah their pretty much leading the way we should be going anyways."<br>I am beside Rick now "Beth, so how did your first kill feel?" I look at him "I felt a little guilty because at one time they were a real person it's hard to get use to that train of thought because they smell like rotten flesh and death, that is how I know that they are no longer human." Rick nods "I felt the same way on my first kill, but it was much harder fer me because I had to kill someone I spent months with surviving with and I knew him." I nod at Rick "that is really hard I do not want to do that ever I don't know if I could." He nods "yes it is" I continue "it was hard to do because of how much your gotta go through but it helped when Daryl pushed in to him it felt liberating to see him fall like a couple of bricks is that wrong." I look at Maggie she shakes her head "no it's not because like you said they are dead" Daryl looks at me "the first time I killed a walker it felt like a rush, like I finally completed something that I was never able to complete before and it made it even more satisfying because he killed this kid right in front of me." He goes back to looking on the ground, he walks around in a couple circles then he sees more footprints he goes and checks them out then he starts walking again "these are human footprints" he leans down and points to them "these are the animal footprints" he points to those "there leading the opposite way, so we don't need to follow those" he keeps leading us the same way. Maggie has been marking the trees with this green dust Otis gave us.

**Shane, Jimmy, Carol, and Glenn  
><strong>We are being attacked by five walkers, Jimmy is good but he needs to shoot twice in order for him to get his target which wastes bullets a lot faster, but he's excellent at hand to hand combat after we've killed them I find some animal tracks leading to the right of us, then I see some human tracks leading to the left of us "here are some human tracks lets go west" Shane has been marking trees with this red dust that Otis gave us.

**T-Dog, Otis, and Andrea  
><strong>Andrea has been marking trees with this blue dust that Otis gave us, he stocked up on a lot of it and it's in three separate colours ours is blue, Shane's is red, and Maggie's is green. Otis stops and looks at the two sets of footprints he follows it for a second then he follows the other ones "We got to keep going this way, the animal tracks are going in the opposite ways."

**Rick, Daryl, Beth, and Maggie**

We've been walking for around two hours, we decided to sit down and take a break, Daryl is looking around for some more footprints, Rick is looking at the map, and Maggie is sitting beside me drinking some water. I go in to my backpack I pull out my water, I drink some as well but I am looking at Daryl-it fascinates me how he tracks, I also like looking at him, I also wonder what he thinks in his head half the time like right now what is he thinking about? Is he thinking about me? "Beth!" I jump from Maggie shaking me "Yeah?" she looks at me watching Daryl I look back at her " I am kind of dating Glenn." I scream with Glee, the guys look at me and run up to me "Are you okay?" I am blushing and I am smiling, totally ecstatic for Maggie I look over at Daryl "I am good, sorry Maggie and I we're just talking." He nods at me, and then Rick nods at me I look at my sister "That is great news. I am happy for you, he's a cool guy." I see Daryl coming back up, I look at him "Hey Daryl, come here a second." He does, he is standing in front of us "Did you know Glenn and I are dating?" he shakes his head "No" I nod at him and smile "Well we are" he smiles "That's cool, Glenn is a rad guy. I am happy for you guys" He turns his attention to Beth, they are staring at each other "So while were waiting, I was wondering if your wanted to teach Beth how to shoot." I look at Maggie and I start getting excited "Yes please" she smiles at me Maggie nods "it still doesn't mean you're going to have a gun today though and you gotta let Daryl teach you, don't ignore what he's telling you to do." I nod excitedly "not a problem, that's fine" Daryl looks around "right there in the middle there are some open space and trees it's like one mile away let's go over there you can still hear and see us but we need to be away from the direction the footprints are going in." Rick walks over to us, I look over at him and he looks at me "Did you know Glenn and I were sort of dating?" he smiles and nods "You we all did, he told Dale but didn't realize how loud he was."  
>I shake my head at him "I didn't know, when you found out?" Rick looks at me "Last night." I nod at him "Oh you mean last night, the night I wasn't at camp. Alright that's cool." Rick rolls his eyes at me, Maggie laughs, Daryl and I are staring at each other "I asked Daryl to teach Beth how to shoot, they are gonna go over through that semi clear vacant space." He nods in agreement "Keep er' safe Daryl." He nods "I promise" Rick nods and hands Daryl the extra gun in the back of his pants, Daryl reaches it for with caution "Did you have this between your boxers and jeans or between your boxers and back?" Daryl looks grossed out "Butt sweat, keeps you strong." we all start laughing "Don't worry boxers and jeans" Daryl nods and grasps the gun fully in his hand "Oooh, you have butt sweat hands now." Daryl looks annoyed and raises his hand to his neck and swipes it across his throat "I am coming for you." we start laughing again and Daryl and I walk away.<br>I look at Maggie, "Do you know?" she looks up at me, "About Beth and Daryl?" I nod, he nods "we warned him not to screw it up and we believe that she's really good for him." I nod at him, "He seems to really like her, they stare at each other a lot. He smiles a lot more. Carl gave Daryl permission to be with Beth, they like each other." He is laughing and smiling "Carl gave him permission. I wonder how that conversation started. I am glad they like each other. Daryl is a good guy he just always seems to get stuck in other people's dramas. If he says he'll treat her good, he will." I nod at him "I trust Beth, if she didn't really feel like this was worth it then she wouldn't be pursuing it, she has never been the type to become part of drama or start it out of boredom." We're silent for a moment  
>We start walking towards that spot, he reaches for my hand I blush, I stop and raise our hands "This is awesome but we can't not yet, I am not one of those girls who does this kind of stuff with a very good looking guy with these blue eyes that I could get lost in for days when at the moment he is not my boyfriend." he is about to let go but I stop him for a moment "Please don't be mad or hurt" he shakes his head "I am not, you are good and I like that about you." I stare in to his eyes "I wish I would have broken up with him earlier, like back in the day when you had text and voicemail, I could be like 'hi we're breaking up. please don't do anything rash or stupid you're my best friend and I need you.' cause then right now I could kiss you and not feel bad about it." he chuckles and he lets go of my hand I pout "The warmth is gone" he smiles and kisses my cheek "Soon enough" I am looking around it's the third week of April and this weather isn't too bad I am wearing a tank top and jeans I am comfortable right now. I like the way the sun is shining through the trees and the light breeze is heaven. I wish I had a camera because I would love to be taking so many pictures, but unfortunately those small things are no longer a priority and your don't realise how much you miss them until their gone "You okay?" I pull out of my thoughts and look up at Daryl beside me "I was just thinking how much I would love to be taking pictures right now. it is so beautiful out ere' but it's also so ugly because of the walkers, and the damage. You don't realise how much your miss the small stuff until it's gone. Your know." He nods "yeah I hear you" he laughs "I miss being able to eat and sleep whenever I wanted to. I've been eating well since we got here, and I slept real well when I was beside you and well unconscious" I blush he smiles "Your cute when you blush." I shake my head blushing even more "Your sexy all the time." He nods "Yes your that as well, trust me I am not blind." I look at him "I like the idea that I could be your first but I am scared of being a mistake- why do you think I am right for you?" I smile and I think about my answer "You are practical about life, you go out of your way for everyone, You are very observant, you are patient and in no hurry to test the waters especially if you know there are risks involved, you give your word and stick to it." He nods "Yeah that sounds like me" I nod and smirk "It is. You are protective and loyal, you are strong, and you don't own much, you live a simple lifestyle you just sometimes complicate things." He smirks "I like that you know things about a lot, I love hearing you speak, I love looking at you, I think your super cool, you never bore me, and I think most of all I like that we connected and clicked like we did and how easy it was." He nods and smiles "Me too" I smile and nod "It seems like your life is one big long lesson of figuring out if you belong, deserve happiness, or are worthy of belonging and receiving happiness. You got to shed this feeling and love yourself more." He shakes his head "Easier to say it then to do it." I nod "You are strong remember, you can conquer the world if you want too. You also could be the last person standing at the end of this." He shakes his head "I don't like that. I don't want to be the last person standing, I want my family with me."<br>I continue "You are funny, wise, and intelligent. You are street smart, and when you care, you care. You will always put others needs ahead of your own, even if you badly want something."  
>He looks impressed "When did you have time to observe me?" I smile and laugh "I always have time to observe you, you are the most fascinating person in my life and you are like a really big good book that you know you need to put it down so you can go to sleep but you just don't want to." He chuckles "I am being compared to a book. that's different." I laugh and smile "Truthfully, you look at me with respect, admiration, attraction, you take what I say and believe in it seriously, you don't just amuse me like you would a small child, you look at me like you adore me and I like that you're not afraid to fight me back when I get snarky with you. I like that when I say it will be okay, you believe me and feel safe, at peace, calm."<br>He nods "You just said all the best reasons." He smiles and I continue " I realize you have flaws" he shakes his head "Who me, never." I laugh "I am sure I have flaws also but we have to promise that those flaws will not tear us apart, we need to accommodate them and work through them. I understand you are troubled by a lot of things and you are a drifter, lost, but I promise you I will never ever judge you or get moral on you, you just have to be open and honest with me all the time." He nods "I can accept that" I nod "I still think believing in something, will give you something to look forward too, and will give your life some more meaning but that doesn't mean you need to listen to me." He chuckles "Wanted to add that in there, eh" I smirk "Yeah, it was the perfect moment." He nods "It was" I continue "I like that you are so raw and real, it shows me these different sides of you which are incredibly interesting. I like being beside you even if I have no idea why that is, but finally I like the way you smell, I think if you were to have a real shower with soap and water and shampoo, you would smell just as great as you do now which is a combination of dirt and man." He laughs "You need to stop with the compliments. That is like the most I've been complimented in my entire life-time." I laugh and smirk "Next time don't ask such a loaded question." He nods "Yes malady." I smile "Was my answer good enough for you?" he laughs and nods "It was the best answer your could have given me. I understand why it's right between us and easy-you get me and you accept me for me, you know that I don't conform easily but when you need to push you do and it's all with good intentions, Your easy to talk to, that strength and the willpower in you is attractive, you're so beautiful and sexy, and you make me want to be better not only for you but for myself too. You deserve a man who has more light in his life, who has potential, faith and grace like yourself." He shakes his head "I am just some faithless redneck asshole, I don't ever want to be the reason your destroyed or you lose a piece of who you are because then it would be my fault and that would kill me. I cannot offer you anything." I shake my head at him "I cannot offer you anything" He shakes his head at me "No, you're the flame in the darkness, the light in the end of the tunnel" That brings her to tears, she wipes them away and becomes tuff again "You turn off your emotions really easily that worries me because one day you will get crushed under your emotions, trust me I am battling that every day." I nod at him "I am already weak, I don't need another reason to be known as more weak." He shakes his head "You are not weak, you are a fighter and have a spirit that is in you but you just don't have a lot of opportunity to teach you to be stronger. I'd say we're both crazy for each other, agree?" I nod and smile "Yeah sounds about right."  
>We walk in silence "Have you done drugs?" he looks at me square in the eyes "I did weed occasionally, I only did it to help me through the tough stressful times when there was no alcohol, I do smoke cigarettes though. And Merle did the drugs. The day I saw the chupacabra I was on shrooms, the thing is I was on them for a while so my high should have worn off when I saw it. I haven't touched any other drugs including weed in a very long time since two-thousand and eight." I nod my head at him "Thank-you for being honest" I nod at her "I am glad you're only smoking cigarettes but maybe you'll decide to give that up one day as well-it's not like they're easy to come by." He looks at me "maybe, it would be better for me long term" we start walking in silence again "when is your birthday?" he smiles "January 6, I share a birthday with Joan of Arc. When is yours?" I smile and laugh "January 8, I share a birthday with Elvis Presley" he is surprised and nods "that's rad" I laugh "It's totally awesome." He laughs<p>

**Shane, Jimmy, Glenn, and Carol  
><strong>"You doing okay?" I look over at Carol "Your speaking to me, you're not on the I hate Shane bandwagon?" she smiles "I am the co-president" I chuckle "That was funny" she shrugs "It happens sometimes" I nod and smirk "I am better, Andrea helped me get out of the darkness. Listen, I really am sorry for the way I acted-I know it won't mean anything until I prove it with my actions but I just want to make sure that you guys don't give up on me yet." she nods and wraps her arm around my waist pulling me in for a side hug "You probably hate yourself more than we could. Just make sure you remember that your actions will heal the tear." I nod and her and bring her in for a hug "Thanks" As she walks over to Glenn, I see Jimmy giving me a bad look obviously still pissed about me beating the shit out of his dad, then I notice a walker about to chomp on his neck, so I shoot him in the head and that makes Jimmy jump I walk over to him "You have permission to beat the shit out of me for doing what I did to your dad, but if you continue to focus on me you'll die out here. You almost died, he was this close to eating your neck."

**Beth, Daryl, Maggie, and Rick  
><strong>"So Merle and my pops are so similar in personality that it's no wonder they'd clash on bad days and get along famously on good days." she looks over at me and pulls me down to sit on a log "So what happened afterwards?" I look at her "Are you really that interested in this?" She nods at me "On September 10th 1990 Merle got caught for selling to an undercover cop, he got sent to FPC Yankton for possession of illegal substance for one year and for sale of illegal substance another five years. That week both my parents hit rock bottom. Momma self-medicated enough to go in to an overdose, while pops got so drunk that he almost killed me. I blacked out for two days when I woke up, I had no idea what happened my momma was passed out on the bed with a lit cigarette, and my pops was passed on the chair in our living room with a bottle of whiskey in his hands. They were both out cold, it was the quietist time since Merle broke my family. I was suffering from headache's, I was self-medicating with booze, my parents passed out most of the time, then the same thing that happened to Merle started happening to me because he was always so inebriated he thought I was Merle."  
>I see the pain in his face "My momma died on November 3 1991 from an overdose, we buried her and this time my pops got more creative in ways to hurt me. On June 5th 1994 these guys robbed a liquor store and my father died from a gunshot wound to the head, he had no I.D. on him so the cops never identified that he was William Judas Dixon, the neighbours didn't care or didn't want to get involved. They just let me be, I lived in the trailer by myself I went to school every day, Merle told me where I can find some of his drug money, so I had money to pay for the trailer park rent, I worked a job at a seven-eleven getting paid under the table. Merle got out of prison on September 9th 1995, Merle was thirty-one years old and I was fifteen years old." I shake my head "Did Merle ever know that your father was beating you?"he shakes his head at me "No" I shake my head at him "Why not?" he shrugs "Because it's in the past and it is done now-we can't go back. Why would I get for telling him, his apologies? What use are they to me now." I nod "True." I don't say anything else and we leave the conversation alone for now.<br>Then he becomes stoic and serious "We should get to work now. no more joking around this is serious business so I stand up, I raise my hand to my forehead saluting him "Yes sir. Mr. Daryl Dixon. Sir" He shakes his head "Sir. Stop" I get a tinge of joy from the way he says Stop, it's the sexiest thing in the universe. I stand like that waiting for him to say 'at ease solider'  
>She doesn't blink or move she is still standing like that, what is she waiting for? I shake my head "What are you waiting for?" she looks at me "I am saluting you sir." I think back to M*A*S*H and They Were Expendable I realize what she is waiting for so I salute her "At ease solider." She nods and puts her hands behind her back she looks at me waiting for my direction, I take the gun and check it I look up at her "the safety is on" He hands me the gun, I am holding it straight ahead, and he moves my hands down "ALWAYS. Always aim down-just because I said the safety is on, does not mean its' safe" I nod at him "Alright I understand" he walks up to a tree and he takes the red dust, he makes a target on it he puts the red dust away and is beside me again "Alright get a feel for the gun it's weight, and the way it sits in your hands. I want you to learn how to open it and fill it" I nod and I hand him the gun pointing it to the ground, he takes it from me and shows me I look at his hands "Now show me" he puts the safety back on, and hands me the gun I show him what he did, and I hold out the gun to him he nods "Keep it" I do and he takes out his, he wraps his hand around it he looks at me and I do the same, he takes his left hand and wraps around his right I do the same "Your feet gotta be shoulder width apart, your left leg has to be a step forward, lean forward bend your knees make sure your balanced and I want you to look where your want to shoot" I nod and look at the target in the middle of the tree I hold my arms out and he pats my left arm so that it's bent a little "on the count of three. One. Two. Three." I push the trigger and I feel the gun jerking in my hands, it hurt a little and I wasn't controlling the gun anymore because of the pain, the bullet hit the ground I saw leaves shoot up from the impact. I put the safety on and I hand him the gun, he takes it "why are your giving it to me" I shake my head my hand is shaking and throbbing "I just need a minute" I shake my hand "I lost control of the gun, when I got the pain" he nods "why did you lose control?" I look at him "Because when the gun, jerks and clicks in to place, I feel the movement of it but it hurts again my palm so I loosen my grip and that's dangerous." He nods "You'll get use to it and pretty soon, it will feel normal but remember you gotta ignore the pain because you're not allowed to loosen your grip" I shake my head "Alright. I am ready to try again" he hands me the gun back, I take the safety off and I am holding it again pointing out to the tree I breathe in and my breath shakes I feel nervous which is also very dangerous "Alright. On three please" he nods and I repeat myself "It does not hurt. It does not hurt. One. It does not hurt. It does not hurt. Two. It does not hurt. It does not hurt. Three." I shoot and I feel it again which makes my grip tighter, this time I moved my arm instead of keeping it straight and bent so I heard the bullet go in to another tree. "What happened there?" he asked, he didn't yell or accuse he simply asked me a question "I felt the pain and I tightened my grip not realising I moved my arms in to another position" he nods "Dangerous, what if that was a person" I nod "I know I am sorry." He shakes his head "don't be. Just be grateful no one is around." I nod at him "I am." I put the safety on "Let me see how many rounds your have left." I nod and I show him the clip "The last one. I have an idea but we don't gotta do it." I look at him and he looks at me "I will show you how to hold the gun but do you trust me?" do I trust you of course I trust you. or else I am really dumb for exposing everything to you. "Yes I trust you—that's a silly question" he nods and I load back the bullet, I unlock it and I am holding my arms out I feel Daryl behind me his body is against mine and his hand is wrapped around my right one "Your gonna to let me push the trigger, you're just going to feel it in your hands and feel the strength in my hands" I can smell him, that familiar earthy scent mixed with subtle hints of man "You listening to me?" I nod his body is strong I feel the strength behind me and I know he is an unmoveable force.<br>"You're going to shoot, you're going to show me how tight and unmoveable my hands have to be" I smell her again, that intoxicating scent that lets me know she is around I am already use to that smell and I love it, I wrap my other hand around hers I can feel her body with mine and I am aware of her that's for sure but I still don't have a hard on because I can control myself. "One. Two. Three." I shoot and she doesn't recoil from the pain and her arms don't weaken but she moves backwards in to me her ass is against my dick but my chest stops her from going any further into me "Close, where going to try again I have another two clips" she nods I put the safety on, and I let go of the gun she is pointing it to the ground "Am I going to get any better at this?" I look at her "You already did, you didn't recoil from the pain so you didn't flinch and your arms didn't weaken" she nods "because I knew you were there and I was safe in your arms" A smile creeps on to my face "Stop, giving me compliments." She shakes her head at me "Nope" I laugh "Are you ready to try again?" She smiles at me "Of course" I nod at her "So you're going to hit this target, all by yourself" I nod at him "I know I can" I think of something "First, you want to make a wager?" he smiles and looks interested "If I hit this target, then you gotta kiss me." He blushes "Damn, I like seeing you do that." He smiles at me "And if you miss this target, you gotta sing 'Roxanne by The Police." It's my turn to blush now because of the lyrics, he smiles and nods "Do we have a deal?" I hold out my hand to him, he shakes on it "this is going to be rad"  
>I stand back on the side and I watch her, she is concentrating and she is talking to herself out loud, It's going to be a great kiss, and it will be worth the wait. I am going to make sure I give her the world. I will be one hundred percent devoted to her, I won't push her away, I will love her with everything I have in me. I hear the gun go off and I snap back in to reality I see the bullet pierce the tree right in the centre target "Oh snap." I look over at her and she is excited she puts the safety on and places the gun to the ground, she runs up to me and wraps erself in to my arms. She fits perfectly in my arms now if only she'd gain a little bit more weight she wouldn't be so bony and have a little bit of a fuller ass. I can smell her and feel her. it's familiar. I kiss her forehead and she blushes I see her get beet red, She smiles at me "So you lost the wager, I guess that means your gonna have to kiss me." I nod at her, and blush who knew she'd be able to make me do that more than once. "First I would like to see if your can do it again because I need to judge if your learned or that was a lucky shot. The bet is still valid, don't you worry." she pouts and nods in agreement "it was learned I'll prove you wrong Daryl Dixon" even the way she says my name makes my heart melt I nod at her "You proving me wrong, I wouldn't mind that at all." She smiles at me and I nod she focuses on the gun and target I see her legs keeping her stable, her body weight is being pushed forward so that she is immoveable, her hands are tight around the gun and her arms are still and she pulls the trigger hitting the target again. She puts the lock on, and she looks at me "You impressed Daryl Dixon?" I laugh "Yes malady" she smiles and walks over to me handing me the gun "So when are you going to teach me your crossbow and to track?" I look at her honestly "I'd love to, but first we gotta go and see what your daddy says" she nods at me and I check the gun, it's empty and the safety lock is on, I put it in the back of my pants "That debt will be paid after you and Jimmy are broken up." I nod at him "That day is probably going to come a lot faster now that I am looking forward to feeling those lips all over mine and that body against me." He blushes and shakes his head "You are the virgin, and you say such sexy things, who taught you this stuff?" I smile "I love seeing you blush" he nods "I noticed that" I smile at him "I went to an all girls school, my friends and I researched sex and love and boys very thoroughly because we did not ever want to disappoint the man of our dreams on the night that we'd have our first time." he looks at me with surprise "Obviously no adults knew about this?" I nod "Right, only our sex education teacher, she was cool and she rather have us learn the real and truthful way then us learn it the wrong way." He nods "That is for the best" I smile "So you've been having sex since you were fifteen, it's very different for guys and girls isn't it." he shakes his head "Not always, some guys care about it, others don't" I nod "So you didn't care?" I shake my head "No it isn't that easy for me, I had sex at fifteen because Merle had to make me a man if I was going to hang out with a dangerous biker gang." her eyes are wide with shock "Really? That's horrible" he shrugs "Yeah but it felt good after a few times, I felt good to know that I could have such beautiful girls and that they we're satisfied because of me." I nod "Why kind of guy is Merle other than what you've told me about him?" I reply "Merle loved Chaos, he thrived on it and the more Chaos the more it was easier for him to be himself and live. Merle doesn't care about anything, and nothing worries him" He shakes his head "Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog did not deserve what Merle said to them and they did not deserve to get their lives threatened. Merle is an asshole, he is loyal to himself first, me second, he will risk it all for the stupidest things, he will fight you if you look at him or me weird, he will kill you if yeh try to kill him or me, he will steal, he will do drugs, he will have as many woman as he wants, he is strong-willed, he is wise, he is direct in his thoughts and will not lie to you even if you want him too, he is single-minded, he never feels like he was short handed in the cards his life dealt him. He believes that this is what life is supposed to be like, that when it is straightforward, normal and perfect there is something wrong with the world. He hates boredom because it's not fun, His favorite saying is...<p>

_Undermine their pompous authority, reject their moral standards, make anarchy and disorder your trademarks. Cause as much chaos and disruption as possible but don't let them take you ALIVE._

_Sid Vicious__7_

He has lived by those words since he heard his first Sex Pistols song, he is quick on feet he not only thought of plan A, B, and C, but also D, E, and F. He will not back down and die, he will fight and die." He shakes his head "He's such a dumbass." I shake my head at him "I understand why you are loyal to him it is more than the fact that he is your brother, your blood, he's always had you be part of his plans in life, he's had your back, kept you somewhat safe ad made sure you could survive in his world." he nods his head at me "He's also a tumour, he makes you sick until you get rid of him. I am stuck in the middle again between what is right and blood loyalty." I nod "You'll make the right choice" he looks at me and nods "Besides either he'll find me first or I'll find him first." He shakes his head "Sometimes I just wish he would want to leave me alone and forget about me, but then sometimes I really miss him" I nod at him but stay silent.  
>We walk back towards Rick and Maggie "How did it go?" I hear Rick, who is standing in front of us with Maggie "It went really well, I shot off five shots, I hit two by myself right in the center." They start cheering and giving me high fives and hugs. Rick nods "Congratulations. Next time you'll hit more targets." I nod at him "Yes I will." He smiles "Alright come on then, we have to keep moving" we start walking again Daryl is tracking<p>

**Otis, Andrea, and T-Dog  
><strong>We reach the US-150 West Highway it's been around two hours and fifteen minutes, I got injured while battling a hoard of walkers I am okay but I fell on my wrist, and I think it's sprained. I am uncomfortable but I gotta keep soldiering on, because this is important and I am the only woman in this group so I cannot be the weaker link. We picked up, several tracks around Claybrooke, LN, we found a little girls luggage bag, it was full of a whole bunch of things pens, a journal, some clothing, loom kits, nail kits, Bracelet kits, Lip gloss, hand sanitizer so where bringing it with us. Just in case.

**Shane, Carol, Jimmy, Glenn  
><strong>We've been walking for three hours and five minutes, I see the US-150 West Highway, I see the gang in the clearing I am so glad they all made it back—Jimmy got injured he broke his leg, good thing it didn't happen too far away or else I would have killed him just to stop us from slowing down-we had a lot of walker attacks there were tons on Corporate Drive we almost didn't know if we were going to survive. I see Andrea in the distance she is holding her wrist in pain but when our eyes meet she starts walking up to me, I smile and nod, it's a good thing we made it alright I am going to have some fun tonight, looks like will have to keep it simple tonight.

**Daryl, Beth, Maggie, and Rick  
><strong>We reached the US-150 West highway I see the group all sitting and standing in the distance, while we were on Fenwick LN. we came across a suitcase full of little girl's items and clothing. We're bringing it with us. We've been travelling for about three hours and thirty-five minutes and it's almost time for us to make it back. I am glad to see these people alive, I really am. After about ten minutes of saying our hellos and good to see you, oh what did you get, I got this, what did you get, we finally started walking back towards Tick Creek for our One hour and fifty minute journey.  
>Otis and T-Dog are helping Jimmy, While Shane and Andrea are talking, Maggie and Glenn are holding hands, Rick is talking to Carol, Daryl and I are in the back talking "So what is your favorite movie?" he thinks for a second "They were expendable a war movie from 1945." I nod and he smiles "What's yours?" I smile "Room Service from 1938" he nods "Lucille Ball-the funniest woman on television from 1911-1989" he nods "You know how earlier I told you I had a grandfather named Norman we sit there he'd tell me stories about everything-famous people, cars, his adventures growing up, we'd build puzzles, we draw designs for our latest inventions, I helped him while he built the 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, that Merle sold I was by his side bonding with him and enjoying every single moment of the experience." He laughs "He once told me this quote that Lucille Ball said...<p>

_It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy._

_Lucille Ball__8_

He may have not had a lot success in his life but he recognized near the end that he lived a wonderful life, he died happy because he did everything he set out to do." I nod "That is true and wise. I think I would have liked him a lot." He nods "You you would have, he had this creative mind and an imagination that would keep you youthful, and he could make anything fun or sound interesting. He was always so positive, he was like a nice breeze on a summer day" He shakes his head "I am just sad that I didn't get to know him a lot longer." she smiles at me "I have his name tattooed right here" he points at the spot on his chest "He helped me create it, and when I got it I was eighteen, the guy at the tattoo parlor decided to do it in Roman numerals instead of numbers." I look at him with fascination "I want to see it, hopefully I'll get the chance a little later?" he smiles "You're a very rad lady Beth-what is your favorite book?" I think "I was Amelia Earhart by Jane Mendelsohn" he looks at me with confusion on his face "What's that about?" I smile "Well, Amelia Earhart tells us what happened after her navigator, Fred Noonan and herself where on her plane and it crashed off the coast of New Guinea in 1937. And she also tells us about herself. Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly to the Atlantic Ocean." he nods "Sounds interesting" I smile and nod "What's yours? -I am going to laugh if you say on the road" he laughs and responds "well—now that you mention it-no I am kidding actually it's The Broker by John Grisham" I nod and we go back to silence until Daryl hears something ahead of us, he whistles because there are walkers ahead of us about ten or so, we stop and we take them on me, Jimmy, myself and Andrea are surrounded by the group because where either injured or not able to fight like myself. I killed another walker with Maggie's help who was going to bite Carol, she had her back to him and I stabbed him in the eye. After we killed them, we ended up all going and having different people to talk to until Rick and the Shane whistle.  
>We found some more walkers, there was another group of ten this time they were closer to the farm then anyone cared to admit if we find another big group then were going to need to have a serious discussion about this and Hershel is going to need protection, maybe everything happens for a reason.<br>After the battle, we were getting closer to home, I am being pulled in to Glenn's side and he has arm wrapped around me my hand is in hand we're talking about the random congestion of walkers way too close to the farm. "All my life I wanted to believe in this higher power, but it was tough because I got dealt the cards I got dealt and I tried hard to not be consumed by the darkness." she nods "You either fight the bad allowing the good to fill you up and you come out stronger then before OR you let the darkness consume you and create damage for everyone." I meet his eyes "Yeah but everything happens for a reason." he nods at me and laughs.

1 passage/?search=Isaiah+40:31

2

3 a-to-z-guides/blood-type-test

4 /prayers_before/prayer_for_safety_and_ #celtic

5 passage/?search=Proverbs%203:5-6

6 wiki/Chupacabra

7 .

8 quotes/42798-it-s-a-helluva-start-being-able-to-recognize-what-makes


	3. Chapter 3: Blind Faith

**Chapter Three**

**Part Three: Blind Faith**

_John 16:28-33 (New International Version)_

_. __32__"But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.__33__"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."__1_

While we're walking we see the farm in the distance. I smell the food, my stomach growls with hunger I didn't even know I was that hungry, we wipe our feet and walk in to the house "Daddy where here" I see my daddy walk in to view, he sees us and he smiles glad to see us all well and alive, but with some minor injuries—Patricia walks in to view and she looks over at Jimmy and Andrea "Let's go fix you two up before lunch is served." We nod walking out of the room. I am standing with Maggie in front of our daddy "I am so glad that y'all are back" he pulls Maggie and I into a hug we pull away and everyone gets cleaned up we sit down and daddy looks over at me "Beth, would you like to say the prayer" I nod and smile then I stand up

_Philippians 4:8_

_New International Version (NIV)_

"_Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things._

_Also I'd like to thank you for providing us with this meal and for giving us the chance to experience joy as a group._

_Amen__2_

"Amen" we all say in unison and we dig in, as I am eating I am watching our group and it is starting to feel like a home, I understand what Beth is talking about when she says that it's just like Christmas. I see Beth from the corner of my eye, she picks up a small piece of chicken ignoring the deer right beside it, she starts cutting it really small and throwing it in to her salad, she looks around the table no one noticed then her eyes meet mine and I can see the fear and anticipation in her face, she is watching me and I am watching her she raises her fork full of salad and chicken to her lips her hand is slightly shaking but she is adamant on doing this. She looks at me again waiting for me to let her know it's going to be okay, I nod and smile she takes a bite and chews it avoiding the meat but then there is no choice so she chews it and she takes some more salad without the chicken then she takes another bite with the chicken I look away amazed at how she just did that and doesn't seem to hate it or like it but it is a better choice then no protein at all. I look over at Andrea she looks at me and smiles. I smile back at her I go back to eating because I am so hungry. "So Beth, do you think I should let you go out there again?" she looks at her daddy and nods "I do. I hit the target twice. I listened to what everyone told me to do. I did not fight about it, I was learning hand to hand combat while we were waiting for the others, I got the opportunity to learn how to shoot a gun, it was difficult but I learned the proper way, I learned how to hold it when it's on safety, I learned that it's not a toy or a joke, it's a dangerous weapon." He looks impressed "Who taught you all this?" I look at Daryl "Daryl did, he's the best one of our group to teach me the proper way." He looks at Daryl, Daryl doesn't look panicked but he does look a little nervous. Rick interjects "That is true, he taught those who did not have any prior experience with weapons or tracking, how to do it right." Dale, Carol, and Andrea nod in agreement then Maggie interjects "I saw the way he showed her, she was in good hands I trusted him enough to give him the responsibility and he was great at it. Honestly I trust our Beth will be perfectly safe within each and every one of their hands. Beth is mature enough to know when she needs to take direction" I smile at Maggie for her kind words "Beth found this purple doll in a distance, it belonged to Sophia, we also found two of her luggage's because we were moving the day that she got lost. We were able to track her path." Daryl Said. Hershel looks over at Rick and the rest of the group they are nodding at him "Allowing Beth to join us again would be very helpful not only because she would be an extra set of eyes but also an extra set of hands, we all have warmed up to your daughters and we promise to make their safety our first priority and to not do anything rash or guns blazing." Hershel sees them nod again, he looks at Otis "We need to go west we are going to only go for three hours, and we are all going to stick together this time there will be no separate groups. We need to figure out how "It isn't going to be easy because when we were all together we got attacked by three groups of ten walkers" He looks worried "  
>Beth stood back and in between us, she made a few kills today, not because she wanted to but because she had to, we made sure to take care if it got out of hand and she did really well." Says Maggie, daddy looks at her, she continues "I know how you feel about the sick—we both do but we have seen them close up and in attack mode they are no longer people. They smell like rotten flesh and look like death, they have no life in their eyes, and they are focused only on the feed, they don't see us as people they see us as their next meal." I look at daddy he looks sad, we all know why but Rick's group doesn't "There is no cure for their sickness?" My heart breaks my father sounds so innocent and childlike, I look at Maggie, Otis, and Jimmy they are looking between each other but then we all look at Otis he needs to be the one to tell daddy the truth-Otis and him have known each other since they were newborns "I am sorry Hershel. There is no cure for them. They are already dead and once you're dead you don't stay human, you reanimate and turn in to those things." We all look at my daddy, who is staring at Otis "Otis, do you think Beth should go back out there?" he nods "I do. Beth did really well today. Also she is going to need to protect herself from these things. we can only protect her for so long."<br>Hershel nods "Alright." He looks at me "Alright, you may go again." Instead of smiling I nod at my father "Thank you." He nods "Please excuse me" he stands up and he walks outside the group is cheering and smiling.  
>I am watching my best friend, those words have broke his heart he was keeping the hope alive that one day he'd get his wife and son back but today I realized even more then I had already known that there is no hope of those things ever changing back. "You need to stop him?" I look at Maggie "How am I supposed to do that?" she shakes her head "It's really not a good time right now" I realize what she means and I stand up going after my best friend i see him getting his shot gun "Hershel, don't do this not right now" he is looking right through me "There is no reason for them to be alive." I try to stop him but he pushes me out of the way I get my step back "There are too many walkers around the gun will direct them right to our home." he ignores me and he punches me in the jaw. "HERSHEL STOP!" he still isn't listening I see everyone walking outside, Rick is in front of me "Are you okay?" I nod "Please take that gun out of his hands" Rick rushes to him but it's too late he is banging on the barn doors, he shoots the lock off the door and opens them wide "NOOO" screams Maggie, "Beth go inside I don't want you to see this" she looks at T-Dog "Please help me reach for his gun" they walk over to Hershel and he is pointing the gun at T-Dog "Don't you dare try to take this gun from me" T-Dog holds his hands up and Maggie steps in front of the gun "Daddy stop please." He shakes his head "I have to do this now. For months I have thought they could change back. We've been keeping them alive, feeding them like there human, and sharing all our food with them." Maggie nods "Yeah okay but if you use the shot gun the walkers nearby are going to hear the gun and come this way." Rick, Otis, Shane, and Daryl run up to T-Dog and I "Daddy. Beth doesn't know. Don't do this now. Wait till we're gone." He shakes his head "Maybe she needs to know—we can't baby her anymore she is a grown lass who knows how to take care of her self-all our life we sheltered her, we've protected her from evils and now we're in a world where there is no hope." I shake my head "Daddy there is hope. This is just a hiccup in the journey." He turns around and looks at Beth, Lori and Patricia are following a wobbling Jimmy on crutches "No sweetheart. They were great people they did not deserve this, there is no room for hope in a zombie apocalypse." Otis looks at daddy "Hershel. is this your plan?" he looks at Otis "Yeah I guess it is." we wait I hear them and that's when I realize what is in there "He's got walkers in there" says Dale "Yes they were are family and friends then I learned that there not human anymore and well I don't give a damn about them anymore."<br>I look over at Beth, she is frozen what the fuck is happening right now I walk over to her, I look at Lori and Patricia and Jimmy "All of you stay back" I stand in front of Beth then the rest of them come up behind me and Lori and Patricia are hugging and holding her, I hear Hershel's shot gun and I see this male walker go down then I hear Rick "Weapons out, shotguns only have five to eight bullets" I don't have anything with me, my bow is sitting in the house so I am handed a gun by Maggie I look at her and she shakes her head in sadness "I am sorry for all this" she walks over to the people around Beth, then as where taking walkers out Hershel stops and I hear Beth scream when she sees this walker coming out I look at her Everyone stops shooting, as the female walker is walking all alone, she manages to slip away from Lori, Patricia, and Maggie "Momma. No." she is running towards the walker "Beth stop." I am standing in front of her with my back to the female walker, I know they'll have my back if she gets too close but I really hope it doesn't come to that yet. I look at Rick "Stop shooting" Beth is crying, I look back at Rick "I know you have my back if it gets to close." She is looking at her momma "Beth look at me" she shakes her head her voice is breaking and I hear the innocence in it "Daryl please. don't hurt her. not yet, when she died I didn't get to say goodbye." My heart is breaking for her I stand in front of her. I am holding her arms "You can't go close to her unless you plan on killing her." She looks at me and shakes her head "She's my momma" I shake my head "No, she was your momma now she is a dead thing walking who is excited about eating your insides." She starts crying, she shakes her head "What is it going to be. Are you going to say goodbye and kill er' or am I going to do it." She looks at me and she shakes her head "I can't kill her'" I look at her in the eyes "So I am going to do it?" she shakes her head "why" I shake my head "Because it needs to be done or else she'll kill you, well me. I am figuring she will be getting closer any minute now" she is staring at her getting closer "Beth make the choice now, we don't have time for this." She runs out of my arms, and runs straight in to her walker momma pushing her down "Goodbye Momma, please find peace. I am sorry. I love you." and she jams the knife from her hip right in to her eye I hear it make the sound and Beth breaks out in to a waterfall of tears, they are never ending she collapses on her dead walker mothers corpse. Otis, Lori, and Patricia, run over to her, they pull her off of her mother and walk with her away from her dead mother I hear another sound coming from the barn I look and I hold the gun up and ready to kill, I see a male walker walk out of the barn, I hear Hershel scream "Daryl Don't Do It. It's Shawn I gotta be the one to kill him." They let go of him, he is crying he walks over to him super slowly because the walker doesn't move too fast his leg is badly injured he is praying for his soul, he aims his gun at Shawn's head "Goodbye Son, may you find peace. I am sorry and I love you." He pulls the trigger and Maggie screams with agony, Glenn runs over to her and holds her while she breaks down just like Beth did, this is a pretty fucking shitty day for all of us, but more so for this family. "Is there any more in there?" Hershel nods "I don't know who she is though, she wandered on to my property and we didn't want to kill her." I hear the sounds again, this one is super slow I see a hand appear from the darkness on the hand is nail polished nails then I realize that is Sophia, I run closer to the door and I am staring waiting I see a leg and then she is standing in front of us and I start screaming "Sophia. Oh my god. Sophia . "  
>I run up to Carol I reach for pulling her back and l stand in front of her blocking her from moving to her walker daughter "No please don't do it, please don't kill my baby, Daryl I never said goodbye to her." I am crying why of all people did Sophia need to come out of this barn, that means that she is dead—we don't need to search for her anymore I look at Carol "Daryl don't do it. Don't you kill my baby girl I will never forgive you Daryl Dixon" I shake my head at her "She isn't your baby girl anymore, she is a walker-there is no choice in the matter." She charges at me and is hitting me, I grab hold of her arms and she spits at me I turn her around "Look at er' looking at us, we are her meals, you're not her mother. Sophia is gone, she isn't coming back. So are you going to kill her or are you going to kill me?" she breaks down in to tears, she shakes her head she is a waterfall of emotion just like Beth and Maggie, there is no sign on her clothes that she was injured in anyway by the looks of it she died from a wound to the head her jean leg is ripped like she fell and hit her head off some rocks or something she must have fallen far for her to die from hitting her head. I look at Rick, he is upset he let her down just like we all did. I look back at Sophia who is getting closer, I am struggling with Carol "Listen here your running out of time-she will be too close and one of us is going to kill her. Pick yourself up and go do what you need to do then take her out of her misery." She stands up and stops crying, she takes the gun from my hand and walks over to her "Baby I am so sorry that I couldn't stop this from happening to you, I will always love you and you'll always be my greatest achievement in life and you'll always have my heart. I love you so much. May you rest in peace." She has her arm stretched out and Sophia cannot move the gun is blocking her and her arms are flailing everywhere Carol waits a minute and pulls the trigger, Sophia falls to the ground like a bag of bricks, Carol screams in agony and falls to the ground shaking her daughter back and forth in her arms, T-Dog and Dale walk up to her, they reach for her and make her let go of Sophia she fights them but T-Dog takes her on and she becomes powerless because she stops struggling and hugs him, he holds her as she cries. T-Dog and Lori lead Carol inside the house, they sit with her on the loveseat and she is just staring in to thin air, silent and not blinking her tears are gone. Glenn brings Maggie on to the porch, Maggie and I were just sitting she was crying, silent, and talking about Shawn, I heard a car start and I Hershel screeching out of the drive way, I looked at Maggie she didn't even notice "Daryl?" he stands up "Did you see that?" he nods "Yeah, did Maggie?" I shake my head "No, did Beth?" he shakes his head "No." I lean towards the open door of the house "Rick?" He opens the window and sticks his head out at me "Yeah" Then I point towards the road "Hershel just sped off and he was crying, Daryl and I are kind of dealing with Maggie and Beth right now" He nods "Where on it" Then five minutes later Rick, T-Dog, and Otis are getting in the car and they are driving off. I look at my girl "Let's go lie down" she is still talking out loud about Shawn but she stands up and walks inside the house I am following her, she sits inside the bed just mumbling about how she hated him when she first met him. I wrap my arms around her and hold her closing my eyes just listening to her.<p>

**8 Minutes Later  
><strong>Jimmy is sitting on the porch swing reading a comic book, Carol and Dale are sitting in the spot where Sophia got shot, Shane and Andrea are digging graves for the ones lost today, and burning the random walkers, Lori and Patricia are sitting with Carl explaining what happened to Sophia.  
>Beth is staying silent right now, and she isn't really crying either she is just sitting and staring in to space, I am worried for her "Beth, do you want to go and lie down for a bit?" she doesn't respond or look at me she just stands up and walks away up to her bedroom, I get a chill down my spine I wish she would cry at least just to let out the sadness, her full of life persona is gone right now. I walk over to Jimmy "hey, how are you holding up?" I ask him, he looks confused "Why are you asking?" I shake my head "Because if your good why are you not with your girlfriend, helping her out? taking care of her?" he gives me a look of disgust "How is that any of your business?" I laugh at him "It just is" he shakes his head "No it isn't. Beth is my girlfriend, you have no say in what happens in our relationship" I shake my head I am going to kick his teeth in "You know what, don't you worry about it, I'll take care of her" he gets angry, he tries to punch me but I am quick and he isn't good at fighting "I am not going to fight you" he's laughing "You won't but I will" he's trying again but he keeps on missing "You best stop before you hurt yourself" I chuckle, he gets mad "You best leave my girl alone if you know what's good for you." I reach for him and I have him in a choke hold, I have no pressure on him but he can't move "You say she is your girl, you say you care for her, but why are you not upstairs with her, helping her through this miserable day?" he is struggling to get out but I am not budging, he really is weak "Be a man and go upstairs and be the strong emotional support that your girl needs" I let go of him and he looks at me with hatred on his face, he runs up the stairs staring at me I shake my head he doesn't deserve her. I walk over to the tree and I sit there close to the house, below her window, I am going to be ready if she needs me, she is all I care about in this house right now and I am worried that she may break under this sadness. I walk up to my room and I pick up my journal, I open and I start writing and crying<p>

_I am hurting and I don't know how to make it stop, usually we are all strong, we all have hope that it will be better, and that is because daddy is our pillar of strength but this afternoon he has lost his hope and now where all flailing in the wind._

I am pulled out of my thoughts when I hear a knock on the door, I open it and I see Jimmy standing in my door frame, he smiles at me "Hey" I nod and walk back in to my room "Hey" he comes in to my room closing the door "You doing okay?" I shake my head "Not at all" he nods "I am sorry that you went through that" I nod but stay silent "Yeah" I feel like he feels awkward "Why are you here?" he shakes his head "I am here for support, to listen to you if you want to talk, or to just sit here and hold you if you want that." I shake my head "Do you really want to be here doing that?" he nods "Yeah of course" I look at him "Tell me the truth I won't be mad" he bites his lip and shakes his head "No I don't want to be doing this; but Daryl will be the one doing this if I am not and that is not going to happen, you are my girlfriend not his" for a moment I loved hearing all the things he said about Daryl "Why do you want me as your girlfriend?" he looks surprised "Your awesome, why wouldn't I want you as my girlfriend" I shake my head "You're not getting anything in return Jimmy. No kisses, no hand holding, no romantic looks, no sex how is this fun for you." he shakes his head "Does this have to do with Daryl?" I shake my head "No, this is about me and you. Daryl and me are friends. Why are you still with me?" he shakes his head "Because I have not found anyone else our age who Is as interesting as you are. You are a great friend and support system Beth, and I agree with you when you say we are good as friends but I don't want to die not being kissed, not holding a girls hand, not having romantic looks between us like you do with Daryl, and I definitely don't want to die a virgin. So I stay with you hoping you'll decide one day to do some of those things with me but that day never comes and I have no right to push you for it." I nod "How do Daryl and I look at each other?" he nods "Of all that you zoom in on that. You definitely have no interest in me as anything as a friend and brother. You look like you two have been in love for a very long time, like you did not just meet almost two months ago, you look like no one else is around you when you are together." I nod and smile "I am sorry I can't be what you need me to be" he shakes his head "I will always love you Beth" I nod and pull him in for a hug "I will always love you too Jimmy. Your day will come soon, I feel our luck changing for the better." he laughs "Your momma use to say that. I am sorry about your momma and brother, even though it was hard, you did really good out there." I nod "Thank-you" He squeezes my hand and walks out of my room, I lie on the bed replaying what Jimmy said about Daryl and Me I walk over to my windowsill and I look down I see Daryl sitting beside the tree carving something I whistle "Hey stalker, get lost before I call the boys in blue and get you forcibly removed from this property." he stands up putting the knife in his Hollister, then he puts the crossbow on his back, then he puts the wood carving in his vest pocket he climbs up the tree and he is sitting in front of me he climbs one of the thicker braches straddling sliding along it towards my window he leans his leg towards the window and holds out to grab the side of the window he comes in smoothly and I helped in some way or another "It would have been easier to take the stairs" he smirks and nods "Yeah but you live and learn" I smile and nod he is standing in front of me, he looks around my room "Where are all the dolls, stuffed animals, and all the pink?" I snort "How rude, I told you I am too old for that?" he nods "Yeah I know you are, you are sexy and you use sexy talk, and you are feisty-this room is perfect for that lady I spoke about just then." I laugh "A compliment, that is super sweet of you Daryl" Then I wrap my arms around him and I hold him, he wraps his arms around me "I love the way you smell and feel" he replies "me too, I always thought I smelled great and felt even better." I laugh in his chest and he does too "I like it when you laugh and talk" I remember my daddy's words and they sting _Maybe she needs to know—we can't baby her anymore she is a grown lass who knows how to take care of her self-all our life we sheltered her, we've protected her from evils and now we're in a world where there is no hope_ I lift my head up and I have tears in my eyes "Hey Daryl. Do you think my daddy was right when he said there is no hope?" he is silent for a moment "Honestly I think you're father had a moment of weakness. He lost hope because of what he just learned, and instead of him staying in denial it hit him like a brick wall." I nod and close my eyes leaning back in to his vest "I like what you said though _There is hope. this is just a hiccup in the journey._ I knew that people need to have hope, because life could get so much worse than better and the only way for you to keep going and be strong is by hoping that it will work out." I hear his voice _No sweetheart. They we're great people they did not deserve this. there is no room for hope in a zombie apocalypse._ I shake my head again "The reason for hope in a zombie apocalypse is so that you survive, plain and simple. Are you going to survive Daryl?" I hear the passion and anger in her voice, Hershel's words pissed her off, I nod not because it will make her feel better or make her win this fight she is having with herself but because I believe that she is right. "Yes it is as simple as night and day. I Daryl Dixon am going to survive this apocalypse because I want too." I kiss the top of her head "I forgot to mention, congratulations on eating some chicken. How do you feel?" I nod "Really good, I can't wait to eat more. Besides I need to help you stop worrying, and honestly I like that you want me to gain some more weight." I look up at him and he looks down at me we are staring at each other "Don't get me wrong you are still by far the sexiest lady here but a little bit more weight would make you smoking hot" I laugh and blush then I reach for each side of his vest and I hide my face inside of it. I take in his intoxicating scent again and I feel like it is going to be okay now that I have Daryl in my life he starts laughing and I peak my head out "What's so funny?" he replies after the laughter has ceased "It is so easy to make you blush, I love how humble you are, you have no idea how sexy you are." I shake my head "Inexperienced and Naive but not sexy." he shakes his head "No you're not going to change my mind on this one. if you can compliment me then I can compliment you" I pout "Fine" he smirks "You warm underneath that?" I smile and nod "It's toasty in here and it smells like you" he smiles "So, earlier you scared me you got quiet, you didn't cry-I was worried for you Beth." I nod at him "I am sorry but thank-you for getting Jimmy to come upstairs, we had a good talk. It hurt to kill my momma but I deep down know she is better off now, and I am so angry that this apocalypse had to happen because my life was consistent, I was focused, I was going to experience great things, see the world, my family would be whole but then I think of how much has happened that has changed the path I was on, how it has brought me to a whole brand new bunch of people, how it's so bad but so good all at one time. I never would have met you, that is terrifying to think of because you have become someone who is so important to me in such a small amount of time. Maggie would have never met Glenn. What would it be like for you right now if you were still following Merle's lifestyle?" He shakes his head "I'd still be a mini Merle, letting him make the choices for me, I'd be screwing a whole bunch of woman just to feel something rather than nothing, I'd be stuck doing things I didn't want to do like getting in to fights, stealing, and drugs." I nod at him "See so bad but so good, I could handle the walkers, I could handle always having to run, but what I can't handle is that there is limited water, limited food, no power or electricity, and definitely nothing beautiful about the world or the people anymore." he nods "Then you create your own beauty like you do when you are painting on a canvas." I laugh "It's that simple isn't it?" he nods "It is" I nod and smile "You and me forever?" he nods and holds out his pinky "You and me forever" we lock our pinkies and our eyes.  
>I smirk "You have this persona of a famous heartbreaker but I really don't see it." He laughs "Good, you don't need to meet him-he brings bad karma." I laugh and he smirks "So you're talking about a lot of woman like more than one at a time, does that mean you're not a one woman kind of guy?" he replies "I don't want you to be worried that I am not the monogamous type, I am, it's just there was always something that happens that makes it sour or blurry. They were never right, I never cared enough about them or respected them enough to let them in like I have with you." I smile and nod then he starts again "I attract sleazy type girls-you know the one who will piss you off on purpose because she is bored with what your offering her, but still sleep with you just because she needs sex. Then when you're not in the mood and she'll run off to your brother because he has no issues giving her what she wants because he is dangerous, he doesn't care who he hurts, he's using her for whatever he is using her for and she is okay with that because he is exciting. She is under the heading of <em>Anger and Passion<em>." He has an annoyed and pained look on his face "Then there is the girl who will play mind games on you, she will make you feel useless and like you're the terrible person but in actuality she is the worthless piece of white trash, who makes you hate woman because of how much they are allowed to get away with because you can't beat them up. They are under the heading of _Hatred and Passion_, because it is so opposite but yet it blurs together to create something so disastrous. Then there is the girl who wants to use you as a tool to make people jealous, or make them squirm, or make them look at her like she is not who she really is. She attracts the Drama as if she sprayed it on herself in the morning-she will never believe that she is in the wrong, she will always be in charge, and she is the one who you will fight with you then go and have hot sex with you two minutes later. She is under the heading of _Drama and Passion_; it is complicated yet could be so simple all at one time."  
>I think of his words "Drama and Passion, was that your relationship with Carol?" he shakes his head "No." He continues "yes it's complicated but not for those reasons. My pops was an asshole of a man but he was with Merle's momma for officially nine years but really eleven years, they were in love and they were perfect, if she didn't die and it didn't all go to shit, they would have been together forever. My pops was with my mom for nineteen years, until her death. My father is a relationship man; he never cheated on either of them—but going through all he went through made him have flaws, even though he was a good person underneath it all." He shakes his head "Why would you gotta cheat if you find the right woman?" I smile "With the kind of woman your describing having two of them at once has got to be a lot of work especially for the lone wolf and emotionally guarded type like yourself." He smiles "Those girls where short lived relationships, they hurt me. The kind of girls I had for one night stands, wanted nothing more than sex, it was easy." I stay silent "So when I was pissing you off earlier, was it the same way that Anger and Passion girls piss you off?" He shakes his head "Nowhere near it. See your a good person, you have your beliefs, you have this moral compass, and this will power and strength. You were being irritating because your living in a rule orientated, house full of believers, and you weren't thinking of yourself when you pissed me off, you were thinking of the order of the house and you were thinking of how the way I was acting would have consequences if I presented that to your father. The Anger and Passion girl does things to satisfy herself no one else's thoughts, opinions, feelings, well-being is cared about, she likes the emotion, she likes to fight, and she likes to dictate. If you don't change or go along with it, she will play dirty, she will fight and I think it's got to do with her having a screw lose somewhere inside of her, because it's a game to her." I nod "I get the appeal, before she shows her true colours."<br>He nods "I assume you can tell the difference between a good guy who has your best interest at heart, and a bad guy who wants to play you like a toy, right?" I shrug "I think I can or I would like to believe that I do. My only "experience" was Jimmy." he nods at me "When we first met I rushed up to you and got in your face, you flinched but you stood your ground, why weren't you frightened of me?" I shake my head "Because I don't get a creepy or perverted vibe from you." He nods at me "Good. You have a good intuition I want you to always listen to it. I want you to also keep being observant, and most importantly never ever get yourself stuck unless you find a perfect moment to defend yerself or injure someone; so you can make a run for it." I listen and nod my head "I saw how you brought down Shane; that was amazing there is a big difference in your height, weight, and muscle but you got him to fall to the ground. That girl was fearless, was she always inside of you?" I nod and smile "Yeah; my mom taught me self-defense when there was a string of house invasions over two years ago she wanted to learn self-defense so she, Patricia, myself and Maggie learned. The thing is one grown man is easy if he is alone, and if he isn't expecting me to kick him in the junk-the way Shane hurt Otis and made Otis believe that he deserved to get beaten like that made me sick and angry, Otis is like a second father to me and no one is allowed to do that to him because he does not deserve it. So I lost my cool and I took a risk, it worked out for me but it was dangerous-He tried to attack me and if it wasn't for you I have no idea what he would have done. I just couldn't help myself in that moment I felt like a 6'3 muscled man-I couldn't let him get away with it." He nods "Yeah that was a risk, but if it wasn't Shane and some other random person you would have been in a much worse situation." I nod "Be more aware" He nods, then I reply "But those moments don't come out all the time, I am still weak-you did see me carry those 20 pounds of fruit and veggies I almost dropped them." He nods "True, so I'll help you get stronger" Then he continues "Test people to see if you can trust them; you're intelligent I am sure you can figure out the best way to do that but also don't get stuck without a way out." I nod taking it all in "People can easily trick you in to giving them whatever they want you to give them, no matter how much you say no or fight them. I need you to be aware of this because you are still a virgin" She nods "There are men out there who will take that from you and not in the good way, they will use violence or drugs to get what they want from you." She looks at me terrified, I shake my head "Don't ever be terrified because it gives you room to make mistakes." I shake my head at her "Listen though, just because there are people like that in the world-doesn't mean that good people don't exist. Not everyone is inherently evil or bad, you got to remember that because I don't want to be the reason you lost your hope and belief in god and in good people."  
>I stare at him and in that moment, I see this tenderness and worry within him and I am glad that he cares enough to be telling me all this "No you wouldn't be the reason I lost my faith or realised there are no good people left. You are making me see that there are still good people in the world." He nods at me but stays silent. I leave the comfort of his vest, and I notice the tattoo on his right bicep I gently trace it, it's of a winged Satyr. "You did that with my vest too" I nod "It's a weird habit I have, when I do that it means I'll be able to draw it perfectly." I meet his eyes "Why do yer have this winged Satyr what does it represent to yeh?" he clears his throat "Well there are tarot cards, yeh ever here of them?" I nod and smile "Of course I have I've always wanted to get a professional tarot card reading" he smiles and nods "I did one time—I refused to believe that what she was saying was true but as I got older and wiser I realised a lot of what she said is true." He shakes his head "So a little bit after, we looted this book store I found a book full of every tarot card that exists with the description of them, their meanings and there meanings in reverse. I came across the devil card he's called a Satyr he is half-goat and half man in many myths he was considered an unclean and lustful animal, he is symbolic of what happens when we give full reign to the realm of raw desires, we lose our vitality and life energy. I have reached that point a lot of times and each time I feel even worse than I did in the first place. He is also symbolic of the scapegoat you know the person or thing you use to feel better about yerself. Merle is my scapegoat; I see him and I feel better about myself because I do not go to the extremes that he does but I am able to if I let myself. The devil is who we blame for our troubles in life when you're in front of him he stares at you hypnotically and yer get lost within his power, loosing rational thinking. Merle has that power over me I lose all logical thinking and the knack to make decisions." 3 She looks amazed that I am that deep "Wow, that is amazing, that little thing right er' has so much meaning behind it." I nod at her, then she replies "I like it, I like that it represents something." She rubs her finger across using a little more pressure than before and I feel a slight pain from the rubbing of her finger, it has a scar underneath it from when my pops burnt me with a heated screw driver. I shake my head replaying that moment in my head I reach for her hand, squeezing it within mine; she looks up at me confused "That hurts! Daryl please let go of my hand, you're hurting me." I let go of her hand "I am sorry, I didn't mean too, are yeh okay?" she nods at me "Yeah. What happened?" he stays silent "Please tell me. Don't push me out." she wraps her arms around me again this time on the inside of my vest "There are scars under my tattoo's so when you rub them it hurts and brings back the memories. Are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you." she nods "I know you didn't mean too. Are you okay?" I nod "Yeah" she looks up at me "You have scars under your tattoos? How many of them have tattoos covering them?" I look down at her and nod "four but I have a lot more scars everywhere else." She shakes her head "Where you not in pain while you were getting them done?" I nod at her "Yeah I was, but I was also lit so it numbed the pain a good whole bunch." She shakes her head in confusion "lit?" I nod "Drunk" she smiles and nods "Ohh, okay." She goes back to holding me."One day soon you're gonna need to tell me about yer other tattoos" I nod but she can't see that "I promise." We stand there in silence then I look down at her and she looks up at "The journey of ten thousand miles may begin with a single step, but you know you can't get anywhere unless you first know where you're going."4 He smiles at me "I like that, we are going somewhere and as time passes will figure it out in a lot more detail." I smile at him and he smiles back, I nod "You like that?" he nods, "You okay?" I nod "Much better since you climbed the tree" I smile at her "I am a miracle" I smile and nod "You are." Then I stare in to his eyes "You owe me a kiss Daryl Dixon" I nod "Indeed Beth Greene" He moves me towards the wall, he bites his lip, he is pushing me slightly in to the wall our bodies are molded together, and I can feel him taking my breath away just by standing in front of me and looking at me he moves in slowly the buildup is killing me but it's worth every second, this will be the best first kiss I've ever had. When our lips meet finally, it is right and it is passionate, I am surprised I know what I am doing but he doesn't mind so I am obviously doing it right. After a couple minutes we pull away, I am out of breath I blush beet red again "That was really really good I can't wait for it to happen again." he smiles and I feel the heat in his face "Neither can I, we still got quite a way to go." I nod "Your definitely worth it all Daryl Dixon, I can be happy with your for a very long time." in my head I am saying I feel the same way, I am saying that no matter what is thrown towards us, will come out of stronger. I nod at her and she nods at me, I don't got to say it because she knows where on the same page.<br>He pulls me towards the bed he sits down on it "It's too bad, you hit that target earlier-well okay it's not too bad because I did enjoy our kiss-but I would have like to have heard you sing that song, it ain't nothing like the music your daddy likes you to sing." I nod "So you enjoyed our kiss?" he nods at me I smile "Well that's good to hear, you're a good kisser Daryl Dixon." He smiles "So are you Beth Greene." She blushes "who knows maybe one day will get the chance to listen to music again, and I will sing it just for you." He smirks and nods "That'd be real nice" I have a thought I have to say "And who knows maybe you'll let me wear your vest while I sing it to you." He bites his lip "Really?" I nod my head "Very, I want to wear it." He nods "I like the sounds of that—I would be okay with that." We go back to silence again. "So Jimmy told me that it looks like we have been in love for a very long time, like we did not just meet almost two months ago, and we look at each other like no one else is around when were together." I chuckle "Is it weird that I love the sounds of that?" he shakes his head "Not at all; it's beautiful"  
>"Merle had to follow his terms for probation so we stuck close but every day we made a plan for the future, He shakes his head "It was strange, Merle was there but he was gone for most hours of the day, we were trying to be normal but it just didn't feel normal to Merle. I liked it normal but I had to do whatever he wanted to do. So like I said we left on September 20th 1996 I didn't make it back to school for Grade Eleven. Merle was already a member of a motorcycle gang called Banditos; he just wanted to make sure that I was allowed to be there as well and in order for him to do that he'd have to ask the top dog who was located in San Leon, Texas. These people had a slogan 'We are 1% motorcycle club we live our lives without excuses &amp; give respect where it's earned. You can say anything you want about us as long as it's true.' These guys were serious business and leave it up to Merle to roll with the most dangerous and notorious criminals, they have chapters all over the United States." He shakes his head "we made our way over to them in our grandfather Norman's 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme." I shake my head "Weren't yeh scared?" he nods his head "hell yeah; but Merle told me that no matter what he'd protect me and he wants me to follow his lead always, he told me to toughen up because they could smell the weak a mile away so in order for him to toughen me up, he beat the shit out of me I blacked out again for two hours, I was sore, I had cuts everywhere, and I had a swollen eye. He said <em>if I ever see yeh weak I will beat it out of yeh.<em> It was a threat and I knew he'd keep his word because he always did."  
>I am looking at her "this is the real raw Daryl right here, do you want me to continue?" she nods at me "Definitely" I nod and continue "When we finally got there, the top dog and Merle had a conversation then he brought to a whore house, where these ladies were paid to make me the quiet, shy, awkward fifteen year boy who has never seen a naked girl let alone a naked woman, become a man so I could enjoy the perks of getting ass on the road, where I spent three days learning how to become a man, Merle and the top dog came and got me, I learned how to drive stick and automatic during that time Merle had bought a motorcycle, he told me we got to sell the Oldsmobile-I didn't want to because it was my grandfathers but I had no say in the matter. I got motorcycle's instead, they taught me to drive it and when I learned how to, our journey would begin." He shakes his head "My entire life changed again, I do not think for myself, I follow what my brother tells me to do, I learned about life and geography from my experience on the road, I learned that I am Merle's shadow and if I look bad he looks bad and we both lose, Merle was going to always save my life but he was also going to kill me if I screwed up or did something wrong, I also learned that all the positive moments in our life before this moment in time does not matter anymore, it never existed and it never happened—everything that was bad for us is what will make us stronger and allows us thrive in this type of social order. I am learning how to be Daryl Dixon, not Mini Merle Dixon."<br>I am silent for a moment I don't know what to say that is so heartbreaking "You have had many adventures; it's sad but it's also a little funny how we are dealt the cards we are dealt" he nods and looks at me "What cards we're you dealt?" I reply "A deeply religious, strong willed, and stubborn father who made mistakes with his first daughter so he has ruled his second daughters life with an iron fist. Every move I make is watched, everything I do I do it for the greater good or for others in my life, and every single thing I have not been allowed to experience is because he has dictated that it is not allowed because I am too young, I am too weak, and it is this way and there is no debate about it." he nods "It took me two days to realize all of this-Maggie is free to be out there in the action, hold weapons, she is not being watched over, and here you are, the complete opposite of all that freedom Maggie has." I nod "Then I got fed up, Maggie spoke to my dad, I spoke to my dad and it has all worked out." He nods "I spoke to him also" she looks at me with surprise "Really, what did you say?" I respond "That you need to be out there and learn, for your protection and that all he is really doing is sealing your fate a lot faster than need be." I smile and I pull him in to me by his vest and I meet his lips and his meet mine, after another great kiss we pull away "Thank-you. I owe you and Maggie so much."  
>We hear a car drive in I run over to the window and I see the familiar blue pickup pulling in to our drive and behind it I see Otis driving the 72' nova "There back" we walk out of my room and I knock on Maggie's door, she opens it "There back" the four of walk downstairs and stand at the porch, when they park daddy is clearly intoxicated he is walking funny "I am sorry June bug, You too Doodle Bug" we both nod and he walks off to go and sleep while Rick and Otis are following him in to the house, Glenn and Maggie walk in to the house, and I am sitting here with Daryl on the porch stairs then it starts raining really heavily but I sit, listening to the beauty of the rain falling, I hear the door open behind me, Daryl and I turn around we see Carl standing there, Daryl is by his side "Hey buddy, why are you up? You shouldn't be up?" he nods "I know but I've been stuck in that bed for almost two months, I want to sit here with you guys and watch the rain" Daryl looks at me "Will he be okay?" I nod and stand up walking to him "Are you feeling any pain?" he shakes his head "Not right now. Just ten minutes I promise not to make fast movements." I nod and then Daryl looks at "Ten minutes. But if you start hurting then you need to get back to bed" he nods and holds out his pinky to Daryl, Daryl takes it. Then he walks over to get the rocking chair on the porch he brings it over closer to the stairs where we all sit and enjoy the rain. We sit there in silence "So Carl what is your favorite colour?" he looks over at me "Navy Blue" I nod "That's a good colour" he looks over at Daryl "What is your favorite colour?" he is silently thinking "Dark Green" I smile and he looks at me "What is your favorite colour?" I look over at Carl "Copper" I am playing with my necklace, I show it to Carl "That is one of the coolest colours" he says and smiles. I nod in agreement I hope one day life will be normal again.<p>

**Ten minutes Later  
><strong>Carl walks back In to house with Daryl, I yawn and stretch then Daryl comes out and catches me doing both "Someone is tired" I nod and wipe my eyes "It's been exhausting today, I am drained. Are you going to turn in for the night?" I ask him and he nods "Yeah, I am going to sleep on that bench we found in the Stables" I nod at him "Want company to go and get it?" he nods "Sure" So we walk through the rain over to the stables, I open the door, he hands me his crossbow "This thing is heavy, holy moly batman." he chuckles and so do I "It's so light" I shake my head "Says you." Then he returns with the bench above his head I am looking at the exposed skin under his shirt I see his bellybutton with light patches of brown hair, and he also has a six pack "You want to take a picture, it lasts longer" I nod and look at him "No way to do that, I am going to have to settle for staring" he smiles and lets me stare a little longer "I feel like a piece of meat" I smile "Yuck, then I wouldn't like you" he smirks "Come on let's get back, you are clearly tired you're taking everything I say literal." I am shaking my head "That is not" then I yawn and he laughs "You were saying?" I shake my head "nothing at all" we walk outside I re-lock the door and we make our way to the porch, when he puts the bench down I hand him his cross bow, he puts it down and I walk up to him I give him a kiss on the lips again "Goodnight Daryl, sweet dreams" he smiles "Goodnight Beth, you too" I walk in to the house and disappear upstairs.  
><strong>The Next Morning<br>**I walk out of my bedroom and I bump in to Patricia "I am sorry Patricia" she shakes her head "No problem dear" I nod and she smiles "Did you sleep good?" I nod at her "Yes, did you?" she nods "I've had better" I nod "Can I talk to you for a moment?" she nods at me and we walk in to my bedroom I close the door behind me and she sits on my bed silently looking at me "I am sorry that Jimmy and I broke up yesterday." she shakes her head "Don't be silly dear, we're sorry we forced it on you two." I shake my head "You don't know how much I wish I could be happy with him, or how much I wish I could have been in love with him, but I can't and I won't keep pretending like it was going to happen. I think that Daryl is the one. ever since the day he walked in to our lives there has been a connection, there has been a pull, and there has been an attraction. With him it just snuck up on me. I never knew that it would turn in to this real and serious thing. I know that you and Daddy may not think he is right for me but I know he is right for me." I sit down beside her and she reaches for my hand "Beth, sweetheart I have known you for your entire life. I know the way you are wired, I know the way you think, and I know that you were raised right. You do not need to explain why you are doing this to myself or your father. Hershel, Otis, and myself have had a conversation about this you are very intelligent, and we have faith in you and any choices you make. You are sixteen years old and in normal circumstances you would still be a minor but because of the world we are in now, you are an adult and you are in charge of your own life and you are going to make mistakes, you are going to experience new things, and you are going to learn how to fight and kill, we want you to succeed, we want you to be around to see god's plan, but mostly we want you to survive and continue to use the tools and knowledge we have all raised you with." I nod and smile "Alright. you have my word I will stay intact with what you have provided me with." I nod and smile at her "Did you know that when we were in college, I was engaged to Otis's brother, but I was madly in love with Otis I called it off and I became a black kettle to Otis's family because they didn't approve because I broke their other sons heart-the good thing is, Otis's brother understood accepted it and us, and he ended falling madly in love with someone who was really the true love of his life, just like Otis and I." I smile and nod at her "That is beautiful" she smiles and nods "Fate happens darling, and when it happens you just need to roll with it." I nod at her "And clearly everything happens for a reason." she nods "True" I nod and pull her in for a hug "I love you" she squeezes tighter "I love you too" then she walks out of my room and downstairs to make breakfast.  
><strong>10 Minutes Later<br>** I have woken up a lot during the night, for the first time in a long I have killed a lot of walkers, there was about three times where I needed help, because I couldn't take them on myself. The sun is shining, it is nice and warm outside, today Rick is going to have a meeting to bring up this little problem about the walkers, we should have stopped Hershel yesterday, we knew there were walkers closer to the farm than usual. I shake my head and I hear the door open, I turn around and I see Beth she is wearing these sweat pants that have a heart on the leg, and on her upper body is a pink T-shirt she walks down the step and as she is sitting I am looking at her ass in those pants and trust me when I say it's looking damn fine, she sits beside me then I notice the angel wings on the back of her t-shirt they look like the ones on my vest just black instead of white, I move her hair aside and I smile, she tilts her head looking at me "You like?" I nod "Yeah I do, did you always have this?" she nods at me "Yeah, funny enough I got it at this fashion extravaganza type of show last summer, it has a lot of new brands on the scene-it cost me thirty dollars but I thought it was cool, this is by Rock Rebel." I nod "I got my vest at a motorcycle paraphernalia shop in Nebraska." She smiles "Did you sleep well?" I shake my head "I got up a lot, I killed a lot of walkers. The noise yesterday attracted them to your farm." She looks worried, and shakes her head "What are we going to do?" I shake my head "Rick is going to have a family meeting, will make a choice then" We sit there in silence holding hands.  
><strong>Rick, Lori, and Carl<br>**"When am I going to be allowed to get out of this bed?" asks Carl, we both shake our head and stay silent "I am not sure son. I'll ask Hershel and Patricia." He nods "Can you please go and ask now, I just want to stand up and walk again." I look over at my son "You getting bored?" He nods "Why not read some comic books or something?" He shakes his head "I've read them a million times, I've been in this bed for two months" I nod at my son "Alright, I'll be right back." I leave my wife and son to go look for Hershel or Patricia. I get an idea and I look at my son "Be right back I have an idea" I walk out of the room and I walk to the living room table I look through the stuff we collected of Sophia's and I find the loom kits, I walk back over to my son "You see these they make cool bracelets, you should make them for everybody I will get everyone's favourite colours and will make them and give it to them. I think everyone would appreciate that." He lights up and nods "All right, I can do that. It's our family, it means we all come from the same place even if we all really don't" I nod and smile at him "When did you become so smart?" he pouts "Heyyy, I've always been smart" I smile and nod "Yes you have" He nods and smiles "I just said that" I laugh "I am going to go and get everyone's favourite colour. I'll be right back." He nods and opens the packages, he gets two colours Navy Blue and Yellow, his favourite colours.  
><strong>15 Minutes Later<br>** I return with the list, I walk in to his room and I smile as he holds up his arm "Ooh, what a nice bracelet. You have such nice colours." He smiles and holds out a bracelet to me "This is for my brother or sister, one is purple and the other is blue." I smile and I put it on my wrist "Alright here you are sir" I hand him the list "You start with the first three, then I'll start on the second set of three, then will another three each, then you do two and I'll do two." I smile and nod "Ay Ay captain." We get to work.  
><strong>35 Minutes Later<br>** "Maggie" I was being shaken awake, I am groggy and half asleep "Maggie, get up it's time to bury your momma, Shawn, and Sophia then we need to have a family meeting." I open my blurry eyes then I rub them and I see him clearly now, I bring him in for a kiss when we pull away we make our way downstairs and outside, Patricia is wearing her church uniform she is going to speak on behalf of our church, she was a pastor before the apocalypse there are three holes closer to a poppy field meant for momma, Shawn, and Sophia the rest of the friends are being buried near the south west gate of the farm where we have some buried animals from over the years of growing up in this house.  
>After the service we go in to the living room, where Otis and Rick are standing, Rick starts "I know yesterday was hard and then just now, burying your loved ones. if I could I would tell all of you to just sit back, take it easy, and do what you to have to mourn your losses but unfortunately this is not possible-there are walkers all around us from all directions, they are still far away it will take them at least a week to make it to our house but this is where we need to make a choice. Do we stay and fight? Or as a group, a united group, leave this farm behind and find a new home? Or do we all go our separate ways?" Otis looks over at the group in front of him "Hershel is disposed right now, so I am the leader for the Greene family, Could we have minute to get our votes?" Rick nods, they all leave the room.<br>I look at Patricia "What do you think we should do?" she shakes her head "I'll miss this place but I honestly think my life is more important than this house. These people are wonderful, they are helpful, when we're all together, we are a family and we are stronger if we stick together. I am sure we will find something better than this place, God is watching over us." I nod at my wife "You took the words right out of my mouth." Then I look at the three younger people Maggie, Jimmy, and Beth "What do you three vote?" Maggie nods "I am will not be separate from them, I agree we are stronger together." I nod at her and I look at my son "Son?" he looks up at me "I am fine either way, besides maybe while I am out there I could meet more people my age." Then I look at Beth, who is looking at Jimmy "Beth" she turns to me "I am not separating from them either." I nod "Hershel will not agree to this, he'd rather die on this farm." Patricia nods at me "Then will have to convince him otherwise." I nod in agreement "I am going to go and get his vote." I walk upstairs, I knock on his door "Leave me alone" I open the door "It's Otis" Then he turns around and looks at me through half-open and half-closed eyes "What?" I clear my throat "We need to make a vote, and you need to be part of it." He stays silent but still looks at me "Are we going to stay at the farm and fight the walkers surrounding us? Are we going to go with Rick's group? or are we going to go on our own?" He shakes his head "I am not going anywhere, this is my home and they cannot take it over. I put my blood, sweat, and tears in to this home, and I will not just leave it to get over-run by such filthy creatures. I will die here, you take my daughters and you keep them safe and protected for the rest of your days." I nod, I close his door, then I walk downstairs and over to the door "Y'all can come in now"  
>After we all walked in and got ourselves settled, Otis looks at me "we have come to a vote that we will choose to join your group if you would allow us too, we are confident that we can find a home somewhere else and be a strong unit." I am surprised by this "Hershel agrees to this?" he shakes his head "He told me that he will not leave this farm, he told me that he will die on this farm." I shake my head "Are you going to let him go through with that?" he shakes his head "Not at all. his common sense will kick in eventually-I am not worried." I nod "Your sure?" he nods at me "Positive" I nod "Our turn to vote. We ask if you would excuse us, so we can take our vote?" he nods "Definitely, just call us back in" They walk outside including wobbling Jimmy. "I am in, for having them join us with them in our lives over the last two month it's been good for us, it's made us grow, and it's given us stability, and they are doctors so we have been very lucky and we have become spoiled. we need them." Lori nods "I agree a 100%" Then Daryl nods "Me too" Then Glenn agrees "Me too" Then Dale, T-Dog, Andrea, and Carol all agree "We're in" Then I look at Shane "Shane?" He nods "Definitely" I nod at him and I look to Daryl "Want to go and get Carl's vote?" He nods and walks over to his room, after a few minutes I hear Carl groggily shout "I am in" Then he falls back asleep and Daryl walks out, he looks at me "We're all in" Glenn walks to go call them in, then Rick looks at Otis "We're in, we're going to stick together and find a new place to live." Otis nods "Good. We are going to need to make a plan, I'd say we should try to leave before the 6th day of the week unless we need to leave sooner, but we have a lot of useful things in this house so in the next couple hours we are going to have a solid plan before dinner time and while we're having dinner we are going to share the details." Rick nods "Sounds good. please do not hesitate to work out plans and details with my group as well we all have expertise to offer as well." He nods and smiles "wonderful" Rick and Otis nod in agreement "Meeting adjourned?" Otis asks and Rick nods "Meeting adjourned!" we all separate.<br>**Two Hours Later**  
>Beth and Lori has been working with Patricia to get Carl mobilized, while Carol and Jimmy are packing all the medical supplies and creating an inventory of all items we have and will need. Dale and T-Dog are collecting and taking stock of any canned food items and drink items along with any seeds for us to use to grow crops, he will be using a suitcase to put it all in. Maggie and Andrea are taking stock of our weapons, she will be putting them in a suitcase along with the sheriff bag, While Daryl, Glenn, Shane, Otis, and Rick are all sitting around in a circle looking at maps figuring out what direction is best. Hershel is upstairs sleeping.<br>We've been doing a lot of work but we haven't really been eating, I think we're all too nervous to eat, there is too much at risk for our group. I personally believe we should eat though, because we need our strength so I am in the kitchen cooking with Andrea, Beth, Maggie, and Patricia.  
><strong>One Hour Later<br>**" Beth, would you like to see if Carl would like to join us and set the table please" I nod and check on Carl. he smiles when he sees me "Hi Beth" I smile "Hi Carl" He reaches for the bracelets "I am about done" I nod "That is good to hear, I am excited to wear it. I have a question will you be joining us for some lunch today?" he looks super excited "You bet I will be" I smile "good" he nods "I'll be right back to help you out. stay still." He nods "Promise." I nod and walk in to the kitchen to get what I need to set the table, I make eye contact with Andrea and Lori "He said he'll sit with us" they both smile and get back to work and so do I.  
><strong> Thirty Minutes Later<br>** We are all called to the table, Daryl and Rick go to help Carl out of that bed while I help Lori and Andrea serve our meal. We all stand behind our chairs where we let Carl sit down first, we all follow suit except Beth and myself "Everyone Carl would like to say something" He looks over at our group from his seat, while I stand with Beth "I want to tell you guys that I love each and every one of you, you all are my family. I have something to give all of you, and my two wonderful assistants are going to come around and give them to you." We walk around the table giving everyone their bracelets Daryl: Dark Green and Yellow, Beth: Red and Gold, Me: Purple and Yellow, Rick: Blue and Silver, Shane: Red and Yellow, Andrea: Red and Black, T-Dog: Orange and Red, Dale: Silver and Black, Glenn: Black and Yellow, Carol: Purple and Pink, Maggie: Silver and Dark Green, Daddy: Brown and Blue, Patricia: Blue and Purple, Jimmy: Red and Blue, and Finally Otis: Red and White. We sit down, then Otis looks over at Carl and smiles "Thank-you Carl, and we love you as well, and we love your bracelets." Then we all clap, he smiles and blushes.  
>I am sitting across from Daryl, he smiles at me and I smile at him "Before we eat who would like to say a prayer" I hear Daryl clear his throat "Ahh, I will." Otis looks surprised and so does everyone else at the table but he makes eye contact with me, I nod and smile, he relaxes a little "Bless us, O Lord, for these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Help us to be mindful of all our blessings, and the needs of those who have less. Amen." 5 We repeat Amen "Thank-you Daryl, that was wonderful. Let's eat." We sit there and eat.<br>**Fifty Minutes Later  
><strong>After lunch and after we cleaned up, we went back to getting our stuff ready and I walk over to Carl, "Hi Carl" he looks up at me "hi Otis" I walk over to him and lean down "Look I need to say something. I am sorry I shot you." He stares at me for a second then brings me in for a hug and nods "it's okay I know you didn't mean too and your family saved my life. Plus I am a real hunter know that I got the bullet wound." I laugh "Yeah you are, but will make sure it doesn't happen again." he nods and holds out his pinky to Otis, Otis smiles and takes it in his "I promise." He nods and we separate.  
>Patricia comes over to us "Beth, Jimmy, Maggie I need you three to start putting your clothing in to the three large suitcases, after you are done we are going to add ours in to them. Ladies, all under clothing is going to need to be put in to a bag before putting in the suitcase, as are yours Jimmy." We nod in agreement and we all make our way in to our rooms with the three large suitcases with Daryl carrying mine, Glenn carrying Maggie's up the stairs, while T-Dog carried Jimmy's Then Daryl and Rick helped Jimmy climb the stairs. Once we got situated Maggie and myself got to work.<br>"This is so stupid I can pack my own suitcase" Rick shakes his head "The way your wobbling, it will take you forever and besides you may injure yourself further and then that will do no one any good." He puffs out hot air "I hate this being useless crap." Jimmy is sitting on the bed, While T-Dog and Daryl are doing rock, paper, and scissors to see who will be doing Jimmy's suitcase for him. "Rock beats Scissors. I Won. You lost. Looks like you are going to be doing some packing. Make sure you fold properly, so the boys clothes don't wrinkle. I am outta here, peace homie." he took off down the stairs like a gust of wind. I look at Jimmy, he doesn't look pleased I sense that he dislikes me maybe It's because of Beth, or maybe it's just because he hates having to rely on others "What's with the look?" He looks like I took away his favourite toy "What look? This is my face." I shake my head "Bullshit." He gets silent and shakes his head "I know this is late but I need to say it anyways, ever since you came here, Beth never pulled away, she at least tried to warm up to the idea of me and her as a couple. Now that your here she wants to be out and about instead of inside the house like she was. Don't mistaken me. the friend I am is sure that Beth needs to learn to fend for herself, she needs to be independent, and needs to learn to fight but before you came along she didn't fight to make sure she got the chance to do all those things, she would just go with the flow. I am glad you guys being here has brought that out of her because it was getting ridiculous the way that Hershel kept her boxed in and my mom kept her as Molly Maid. The thing is I have always hoped that she would just fall in love with me and want to be with me, but she never did and she never will, because she met you. I know you two are dating, but I am still going to look out for her, so if you hurt her in any way at all, I will kill you! Do you understand me?" I nod at him "Yeah I understand." He continues "Beth is a wonderful girl, and she deserves the universe-I have no idea what she sees in you but I know Beth is never rash or foolish in her decisions and I also know she would never pursue something if it wasn't serious. I want to keep her as my friend and I know she wants to keep me as her friend, are you okay with that?" I nod again "Yeah I am okay with that" He nods "Alright, so we understand each other" I nod "Yeah we understand each other" I stand there in silence, until he directs me on what he wants me to pack for him "Alright, let's get this started" I open the suitcase in front of me "I'll fold while you throw them at me and whatever I don't care about I'll leave on a pile on my bed" After 10 minutes we finish "Want to bring the suitcase out, I am feeling kind of tired I think I am going to take a nap, the meds are kicking in." I nod at him and bring the suitcase outside, I close the door behind me and I walk to Beth's door, it opens as I knock "Beth" then I see Maggie "wrong room cowboy" she stands in view of the door "three down to the left" I smile at her, she doesn't smile "What's wrong?" she shakes her head "It's just, first losing Lillian, then Shawn. Then losing them again, then this house has been in my life for a very long time, there are so many memories in this place, it's just hurting is all." I nod at her and I reach for her shoulder, I squeeze it "The memories are always going to be a part of you, just like Lillian and Shawn are going to be alive in your memories. Don't let this get you down, we need to be strong the fight isn't over yet." She nods at me "Alright" I nod and walk towards Beth's room.  
>Meanwhile I walk over to my drawer and pull out my underwear and bras, I reach for this purse style cloth bag it will be small enough to hold everyone things, we all obviously know whose stuff is whose. I reach for the undergarments and I am tossing them in I walk over to finish putting mine in it, then I tie the bag, and I place it underneath the clothing the clothing raised a lot more but that's okay there should still be enough room to close the suitcase.<br>After a little while I hear a knock on my door "Beth" then I respond "Daryl?" He clears his throat "Yeah" I open the door and he is standing in the door frame, I smile and meet his eyes "Hi" he smiles back "hi" I stare at him and I know this is right everyone is worried but I am not. "Are you going to let me come in?" I smile and nod, moving aside "I still feel like I am forbidden territory" I laugh "You are, you're the second boy...man I've had in my room" he nods "I feel honoured." I've been creating my room since I was eleven and now it's going to be destroyed." Tears escapes her eyes, she shakes her head and I walk over to her wiping them and pulling her in to me she wraps her arms around my waist, just holding me while I hold her. After a little bit I pull away and go] back to packing, he sits on my bed I notice the jackets, sweaters and vest behind my door, I reach for them then turn around "The Sweater is going to go in my backpack, The lighter one is going to go in the suitcase with the vest." I toss them to him and he does what I just said to do "This is going to go in another suitcase" he nods and walks out the door, he comes back in with Jimmy's opening it on my bed beside mine then puts both in there.  
><strong>15 Minutes Later<br>**I walk over to my son on the couch, I sit beside him "How are you?" he shrugs "I am good. Patricia told me to sit here so I don't tear my stitches, she said I can get up in an hour." I smile at him "So I need your opinion on something" He nods at me "Ok" then I hold out the doll that belonged to Sophia "We found it a while back, it's the doll Sophia got from Eliza" He nods at me "I know what it is. What are you going to do with it?" I shake my head "That's where you come in, I want you to make the choice." I hand it to him and he is petting it "Would it be weird if I kept it. It belong to both Eliza and Sophia and I want something that belong to them." I shake my head "It's yours." he smiles at me this makes him so happy "Hey dad, you don't think I am weird for wanting a doll that is wearing purple right?" I shake my head at my son "Not at all, they were your best friends and they are both gone. This is right, you having the most important thing of theirs." He smiles but has tears falling from his eyes, I hold him and he continues to cry "I love you son." and he continues to cry.

**Two Hours Later**  
>T-Dog, Carol, and Glenn are going to look for various weapons for hand-to-hand combat, we are using gym bags afterwards we had three gym bags full of weapons, sitting on the porch ready to be moved.<br>They return after three hours, they drop the bags and walk over to me telling me what they found.  
><strong>Five In A Half Hours<strong>  
>Jimmy, Shane, Carol, and Rick are going North for a 5.2 mile radius while Otis, Daryl, T-Dog, and Glenn are going North East for a 5.2 mile radius to ransack houses for some things that could be useful to us. We are expected to return within a 1 Hour 46 minutes, give or take.<br>**Seven Hours Later**  
>Maggie and Dale are going and trying to find a lot of gas and a U-Haul truck to transport all the baggage and items we plan on bringing with us. Until we decide we no longer have any use for all the cars we have.<br>**Nine Hours Later  
><strong>Maggie, and Dale return with a U-Haul truck full of individual gas jugs, they give Patricia the list and she looks amazed "Jackpot" Dale nods "Yup"

1 passage/?search=john+16:28-33

2 passage/?search=Philippians+4:8

3 tarot-card-meanings/major-arcana/devil/

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5 ~ #prayour11_10


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